We NEVER believed Epstein “committed suicide.”
November 15, 2025 at 11:30 PM
We NEVER believed Epstein “committed suicide.”
Benjamin Netanyahu has committed crimes against humanity.
September 24, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Benjamin Netanyahu has committed crimes against humanity.
Who thinks Trump committed treason?
March 31, 2026 at 6:03 PM
Who thinks Trump committed treason?
THIS is to be committed to Memory and shared widely
December 22, 2024 at 7:44 PM
THIS is to be committed to Memory and shared widely
Grok says Elon Musk has likely committed a crime in Wisconsin
March 31, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Grok says Elon Musk has likely committed a crime in Wisconsin
When you are one hundred percent committed to battling anti-semitism:
April 11, 2025 at 7:41 PM
When you are one hundred percent committed to battling anti-semitism:
I still think this is one of the most egregious acts of Treason ever committed….
June 27, 2026 at 8:30 PM
I still think this is one of the most egregious acts of Treason ever committed….
Elon finally found an immigrant who committed fraud!!!
March 21, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Elon finally found an immigrant who committed fraud!!!
Indicting your political enemies because they’re your enemies, not because they’ve committed crimes, is unAmerican.
October 9, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Indicting your political enemies because they’re your enemies, not because they’ve committed crimes, is unAmerican.
“Experts say a war crime was committed” is what you write when it’s too scary to say “the United States committed a war crime.” The passive voice will be the death of us all
June 11, 2026 at 10:52 PM
“Experts say a war crime was committed” is what you write when it’s too scary to say “the United States committed a war crime.” The passive voice will be the death of us all
Remember this: be unpredictable. “Outrun, outlast… make it impossible for them to justify the cost.” They’ve already wasted $131 million. We are fully committed to peaceful demonstrations, and just as committed to protecting our communities.
June 11, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Remember this: be unpredictable. “Outrun, outlast… make it impossible for them to justify the cost.” They’ve already wasted $131 million. We are fully committed to peaceful demonstrations, and just as committed to protecting our communities.
Congratulations to Donald Trump, who just committed his first impeachable offense.
January 25, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Congratulations to Donald Trump, who just committed his first impeachable offense.
Global Tetrahedron is committed to silencing all voices.
November 14, 2024 at 11:15 PM
Global Tetrahedron is committed to silencing all voices.
Dude is fully committed to the bit.
February 22, 2026 at 10:40 PM
Dude is fully committed to the bit.
Your Honor, the Government contends this person committed murder. I can’t prove it but the vibes say he committed the murder.
Rep. Claudia Tenney: "There are thousands and thousands of cases of people voting in the wrong place, at the wrong time. This happens all the time. But the Democrats want to tell you it doesn't happen because you can't prove it."
June 19, 2026 at 4:09 PM
Your Honor, the Government contends this person committed murder. I can’t prove it but the vibes say he committed the murder.
Abbas Araghchi, the Iranian foreign minister: "In 2015, we had a deal, we remained committed to that deal, it was the US that withdrew with zero justification"
September 27, 2026 at 2:22 PM
Abbas Araghchi, the Iranian foreign minister: "In 2015, we had a deal, we remained committed to that deal, it was the US that withdrew with zero justification"
He's a master of distracting us from crimes he's already committed by continuously committing new crimes.
5 months until the Midterms.
#AccountabilityIsComing
5 months until the Midterms.
#AccountabilityIsComing
June 3, 2026 at 6:59 PM
He's a master of distracting us from crimes he's already committed by continuously committing new crimes.
5 months until the Midterms.
#AccountabilityIsComing
5 months until the Midterms.
#AccountabilityIsComing
We remain firmly committed to nonviolence, and just as firmly committed to standing up against actions that threaten our communities.
June 8, 2025 at 4:45 AM
We remain firmly committed to nonviolence, and just as firmly committed to standing up against actions that threaten our communities.
Netanyahu: ‘These So-Called Genocide Experts Have Probably Never Committed A Genocide In Their Lives’ https://theonion.com/netanyahu-these-so-called-genocide-experts-have-probably-never-committed-a-genocide-in-their-lives/
March 5, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Netanyahu: ‘These So-Called Genocide Experts Have Probably Never Committed A Genocide In Their Lives’ https://theonion.com/netanyahu-these-so-called-genocide-experts-have-probably-never-committed-a-genocide-in-their-lives/
We demand that the survivors of Epstein receive reparations for the crimes committed against them!
Do your job!
Do your job!
May 18, 2026 at 2:44 PM
We demand that the survivors of Epstein receive reparations for the crimes committed against them!
Do your job!
Do your job!
ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began https://theonion.com/ice-boasts-zero-murders-committed-by-5-year-olds-since-child-detainments-began/
January 30, 2026 at 5:32 PM
ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began https://theonion.com/ice-boasts-zero-murders-committed-by-5-year-olds-since-child-detainments-began/
ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began https://theonion.com/ice-boasts-zero-murders-committed-by-5-year-olds-since-child-detainments-began/
October 10, 2025 at 7:00 PM
ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began https://theonion.com/ice-boasts-zero-murders-committed-by-5-year-olds-since-child-detainments-began/
The Republican pearl clutching about Biden pardoning Hunter is so ridiculous. They keep whining about him not facing punishment for crimes he committed. They didn’t cry once about Trump, who also isn’t facing punishment for crimes he committed.
December 2, 2024 at 1:02 AM
The Republican pearl clutching about Biden pardoning Hunter is so ridiculous. They keep whining about him not facing punishment for crimes he committed. They didn’t cry once about Trump, who also isn’t facing punishment for crimes he committed.
It’s no longer about if he’s in the Epstein files but how many crimes he committed.
December 20, 2025 at 10:19 PM
It’s no longer about if he’s in the Epstein files but how many crimes he committed.