#InfectedBlood #CompensationCelebration #SatireNews #HealthScandal #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a stunning display of belated generosity, UK officials announced this week that "significantly more" infected blood victims will finally receive compensation, after only a few decades and the occasional strongly worded newspaper headline. Government spokespeople, gathering in a room still faintly scented with denial, bravely declared, "We’re proud to offer slightly less insufficient recompense to even more people whose medical misfortunes we definitely didn’t contribute to.” When pressed for numbers, officials assured citizens that compensation checks would be written using not just one but TWO zeroes, possibly even three for the really unlucky recipients.