Knicks owner James Dolan told his players no sex for 10 weeks. Cited the Spartans. They won their first title since 1973.

A billionaire's celibacy speech worked.

We are all processing this 💀

#CutthroatNewsroom #Knicks #NBAChampionship

Knicks owner James Dolan told his players no sex for 10 weeks. Cited the Spartans. They won their first title since 1973.

A billionaire's celibacy speech worked.

We are all processing this 💀

#CutthroatNewsroom #Knicks #NBAChampionship

Bunnie XO published a memoir about saving her marriage to Jelly Roll in February. He filed for divorce 4 months later. The book is called "Stripped Down." 💀

https://youtu.be/Hv2WydV3bfI

#CutthroatNewsroom #JellyRoll #Parody

Our newsroom dinosaurs have THOUGHTS about Katy Perry's World Cup performance 😂📰

A parody recap of the chaos — booed before she sang, a Hershey's Kiss outfit, and vocals that may have set off a smoke detector.

https://youtu.be/c_bHZzd1IG0

#CutthroatNewsroom #Parody #KatyPerry

Panini made 980 stickers for the 2026 World Cup. 280 dollars to finish. Over 2,000 in reality.

The Andorra defender will find you 11 times. He does not know you exist.

The duplicate rate is not a mistake. It is the product. Panini is fine. 💀

#PaniniStickers #WorldCup2026 #CutthroatNewsroom

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce booked MSG for their wedding. 22,000 seats. 1,200 guests.

The wedding planner said to make it not feel like MSG.

They are bringing in trees. For privacy.

20,800 empty seats. The trees will handle it 🌲

#CutthroatNewsroom #TaylorSwift #TravisKelce

Zuckerberg fired 8,000 Meta employees. Then told the survivors: time to have fun again! Company hackathon!

The survivors are labeling data to train the AI that replaced their friends.

The vibes got laid off 💀

#CutthroatNewsroom #Meta #Parody

Bunnie XO published a memoir about saving her marriage to Jelly Roll in February. He filed for divorce 4 months later. The book is called "Stripped Down." 💀

https://youtu.be/bZscAjB4lfk

#CutthroatNewsroom #JellyRoll #Parody

Bunnie XO published a memoir about saving her marriage to Jelly Roll in February. He filed for divorce 4 months later. The book is called "Stripped Down." 💀

https://youtu.be/T4pFcIqp45I

#CutthroatNewsroom #JellyRoll #Parody

Bunnie XO published a memoir about saving her marriage to Jelly Roll in February. He filed for divorce 4 months later. The book is called "Stripped Down." 💀

https://youtu.be/o-s8Ik899kY

#CutthroatNewsroom #JellyRoll #Parody

Shakira dropped a new World Cup anthem and the internet shrugged... so "Waka Waka" from 2010 is trending again instead. Some things can't be replaced. 🎶⚽

https://youtu.be/UKDNeh1e1i4

#CutthroatNewsroom #Shakira #Parody

A bug-eyed monster plush walked out at the World Cup opening ceremony holding the actual trophy, brought a buddy with popcorn, and sold out merch worldwide in hours. Our newsroom has questions. 🧸⚽

https://youtu.be/FwkrISzsGD4

#CutthroatNewsroom #Labubu #Parody

Your Pokemon Go scans chasing Pikachu may have helped train AI now linked to military drones. The company says "unrelated"... sure. 🦖📱

https://youtu.be/UsG9FLfnQ8A

#CutthroatNewsroom #PokemonGo #Parody

New Cutthroat Newsroom: a rapper held a 2-year grudge against everyone he knows, then unloaded it in ONE surprise triple album — 43 songs, his rival, his old friend, his label's CEO, an NBA legend, a podcast host. Still hit #1. 🦖🎤

https://youtu.be/9kDGZBNNFYY

#CutthroatNewsroom