certainly a choice to make fun of people for liking lettuce right after presiding over a historic multistate outbreak of cyclosporiasis that sent a bunch of people to the hospital and killed a few
Trump: "In Texas, he talks about 'I'm a vaygan I'm a vaygan' he's a vaygan vaygan meaning he likes lettuce"
October 6, 2026 at 12:43 AM
certainly a choice to make fun of people for liking lettuce right after presiding over a historic multistate outbreak of cyclosporiasis that sent a bunch of people to the hospital and killed a few
Cyclosporiasis Outbreak Linked To Ancient Evil Corrupting The 7 Sacred Diarrhea Crystals https://theonion.com/cyclosporiasis-outbreak-linked-to-ancient-evil-corrupting-the-7-sacred-diarrhea-crystals/
July 16, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Cyclosporiasis Outbreak Linked To Ancient Evil Corrupting The 7 Sacred Diarrhea Crystals https://theonion.com/cyclosporiasis-outbreak-linked-to-ancient-evil-corrupting-the-7-sacred-diarrhea-crystals/
Michigan health officials reported two cyclosporiasis-linked deaths Monday, as total cases in the state surpass 11,000.
Michigan Reports 2 Deaths In Cyclosporiasis Outbreak
Michigan health officials reported two cyclosporiasis-linked deaths Monday, as total cases in the state surpass 11,000.
www.forbes.com
August 3, 2026 at 4:25 PM
Michigan health officials reported two cyclosporiasis-linked deaths Monday, as total cases in the state surpass 11,000.
Sen. Ossoff on RFK Jr.'s reckless decision to cut cyclosporiasis monitoring: "There is no excuse. There is no justification. It's madness."
September 28, 2026 at 7:41 PM
Sen. Ossoff on RFK Jr.'s reckless decision to cut cyclosporiasis monitoring: "There is no excuse. There is no justification. It's madness."
What To Know About Cyclosporiasis https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-cyclosporiasis/
July 16, 2026 at 10:00 PM
What To Know About Cyclosporiasis https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-cyclosporiasis/
2025: 1,180 cases of cyclosporiasis
2026: 17,180 cases of cyclosporiasis
Cutting research into the parasite causing the outbreak is akin to burying our heads in the sand and hoping this whole thing goes away.
2026: 17,180 cases of cyclosporiasis
Cutting research into the parasite causing the outbreak is akin to burying our heads in the sand and hoping this whole thing goes away.
September 1, 2026 at 2:33 PM
2025: 1,180 cases of cyclosporiasis
2026: 17,180 cases of cyclosporiasis
Cutting research into the parasite causing the outbreak is akin to burying our heads in the sand and hoping this whole thing goes away.
2026: 17,180 cases of cyclosporiasis
Cutting research into the parasite causing the outbreak is akin to burying our heads in the sand and hoping this whole thing goes away.
Taylor Farms, which supplies major fast food and grocery chains, was identified as the possible source of the cyclosporiasis outbreak Thursday.
Taylor Farms Recalls Iceberg Lettuce Traced To Farm In Mexico Amid Cyclosporiasis Outbreak
Taylor Farms, which supplies major fast food and grocery chains, was identified as the possible source of the cyclosporiasis outbreak Thursday.
www.forbes.com
July 17, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Taylor Farms, which supplies major fast food and grocery chains, was identified as the possible source of the cyclosporiasis outbreak Thursday.
NEWS: Michigan health officials have reported the first two deaths linked to the state's ongoing cyclosporiasis outbreak.
August 3, 2026 at 4:54 PM
NEWS: Michigan health officials have reported the first two deaths linked to the state's ongoing cyclosporiasis outbreak.
The CDC has confirmed 1,645 cyclosporiasis cases in the U.S. across 34 states, though it has said it is aware of over 5,000 cases that require testing to confirm them as domestic cyclosporiasis.
White House Says It Has ‘Handle' On Cyclosporiasis Outbreak—While Urging Precautions
The CDC has confirmed 1,645 cyclosporiasis cases in the U.S. across 34 states, though it has said it is aware of over 5,000 cases that require testing to confirm them as domestic cyclosporiasis.
www.forbes.com
July 16, 2026 at 8:55 PM
The CDC has confirmed 1,645 cyclosporiasis cases in the U.S. across 34 states, though it has said it is aware of over 5,000 cases that require testing to confirm them as domestic cyclosporiasis.
As an epidemiologist, I declare this to be an excellent substitute for fruits and vegetables during the cyclosporiasis epidemic.
July 14, 2026 at 8:23 PM
As an epidemiologist, I declare this to be an excellent substitute for fruits and vegetables during the cyclosporiasis epidemic.
"no, no, they shit themselves to death *with* cyclosporiasis not *from* cyclosporiasis"
August 3, 2026 at 4:46 PM
"no, no, they shit themselves to death *with* cyclosporiasis not *from* cyclosporiasis"
First cyclosporiasis and now salmonella. What conditions are they raising produce under?
Taylor Farms Voluntarily Recalls Fresh Jalapeños Over Salmonella Concerns www.nytimes.com/2026/08/09/b...
Taylor Farms Voluntarily Recalls Fresh Jalapeños Over Salmonella Concerns
The company said it was unaware of any reported illnesses linked to its products containing jalapeños, which were distributed to major retailers across 26 states.
www.nytimes.com
August 10, 2026 at 10:20 AM
First cyclosporiasis and now salmonella. What conditions are they raising produce under?
28 years of cyclosporiasis testing
Screwworms eradicated in the US in 1966.
Measles eradicated in the US in 2000.
All are back because of this science denying administration.
Screwworms eradicated in the US in 1966.
Measles eradicated in the US in 2000.
All are back because of this science denying administration.
July 16, 2026 at 3:23 AM
28 years of cyclosporiasis testing
Screwworms eradicated in the US in 1966.
Measles eradicated in the US in 2000.
All are back because of this science denying administration.
Screwworms eradicated in the US in 1966.
Measles eradicated in the US in 2000.
All are back because of this science denying administration.
Michigan reports two deaths in ongoing cyclosporiasis outbreak reut.rs/4w4bd4E
Michigan reports two deaths in ongoing cyclosporiasis outbreak
Two deaths have been identified as part of a cyclosporiasis outbreak affecting Michigan, the state's health department said on Monday.
reut.rs
August 3, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Michigan reports two deaths in ongoing cyclosporiasis outbreak reut.rs/4w4bd4E
The chain is struggling to recover amid a growing cyclosporiasis outbreak.
Visits To Taco Bell Plummeted 19% After Cyclosporiasis Outbreak Linked To Restaurant’s Lettuce
The chain is struggling to recover amid a growing cyclosporiasis outbreak.
www.forbes.com
July 20, 2026 at 7:40 PM
The chain is struggling to recover amid a growing cyclosporiasis outbreak.
The cyclosporiasis outbreak has sickened thousands of people nationwide, and Michigan has been the hardest hit.
Taco Bell Investigated In Multistate Cyclosporiasis Outbreak, Report Says
The cyclosporiasis outbreak has sickened thousands of people nationwide, and Michigan has been the hardest hit.
www.forbes.com
July 14, 2026 at 2:10 PM
The cyclosporiasis outbreak has sickened thousands of people nationwide, and Michigan has been the hardest hit.
Michigan has recorded more than 2,600 cases of cyclosporiasis, the diarrhea-causing parasitic illness, as of Monday, a jump of more than 1,000 cases from Friday.
Cyclosporiasis Cases Rapidly Jump In Michigan—More Than 2,600 Total Infections Confirmed
Michigan has recorded more than 2,600 cases of cyclosporiasis, the diarrhea-causing parasitic illness, as of Monday, a jump of more than 1,000 cases from Friday.
www.forbes.com
July 13, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Michigan has recorded more than 2,600 cases of cyclosporiasis, the diarrhea-causing parasitic illness, as of Monday, a jump of more than 1,000 cases from Friday.
Salmonella and cyclosporiasis in our food, causing massive outbreaks... it's almost like putting Roadkill Bobby in charge of our health was a bad idea.
July 26, 2026 at 11:05 AM
Salmonella and cyclosporiasis in our food, causing massive outbreaks... it's almost like putting Roadkill Bobby in charge of our health was a bad idea.
Cyclosporiasis is a parasite transmitted through fecal matter, currently spreading in the U.S. due to DJT constantly shitting all over the Constitution.
July 11, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Cyclosporiasis is a parasite transmitted through fecal matter, currently spreading in the U.S. due to DJT constantly shitting all over the Constitution.
NIH Director Jay Bhattacharya claims the CDC has gone "a great job" on cyclosporiasis
August 9, 2026 at 3:37 PM
NIH Director Jay Bhattacharya claims the CDC has gone "a great job" on cyclosporiasis
Two people have died from cyclosporiasis in Michigan, marking the first fatalities in the largest U.S. outbreak of the intestinal illness
Michigan Reports Two Deaths In Ongoing Cyclosporiasis Outbreak
Cuts across federal health agencies have complicated the government’s ability to respond to foodborne disease outbreaks.
www.huffpost.com
August 3, 2026 at 4:59 PM
Two people have died from cyclosporiasis in Michigan, marking the first fatalities in the largest U.S. outbreak of the intestinal illness
July 26, 2026 at 2:40 PM
House Democrats sent a letter to Taylor Farms asking for copies of all its correspondence with the Trump admin regarding the cyclosporiasis outbreak
Democrats Investigate Lettuce Company For Trying To 'Influence' FDA In Cyclosporiasis Outbreak
The oversight committee’s top Democrat said it appeared the company may have tried to influence the FDA in its investigation.
www.huffpost.com
July 27, 2026 at 8:35 PM
House Democrats sent a letter to Taylor Farms asking for copies of all its correspondence with the Trump admin regarding the cyclosporiasis outbreak
Michigan, which is where much of the outbreak is centered, has reported over 4,300 cases of cyclosporiasis, which can cause diarrhea and a low grade fever.
Taco Bell Supplier’s Lettuce Identified As Possible Cyclosporiasis Outbreak Source, Report Says
Michigan, which is where much of the outbreak is centered, has reported over 4,300 cases of cyclosporiasis, which can cause diarrhea and a low grade fever.
www.forbes.com
July 16, 2026 at 10:40 PM
Michigan, which is where much of the outbreak is centered, has reported over 4,300 cases of cyclosporiasis, which can cause diarrhea and a low grade fever.
the future is here and it is picking images for news alerts
July 18, 2026 at 12:37 AM
the future is here and it is picking images for news alerts