HAG: A paladin of Derpsnake, huh? At this point, Vicious Mockery just feels like gilding the lily.
PALADIN: *saves* MY FAITH STRENGTHENS ME!
HAG: *shakes head sadly*

And then the bandersnatches arrive.

I serve the gentle Derpsnake, who wants everyone to be happy and healthy.

There is actually Derpsnake art! I think @kithrup.bsky.social commissioned it from @ethankocak.com

The Paladin serves the noble Derpsnake, who just wants everyone to be happy and healthy and is substantially stupider than the Paladin, which is impressive.

GM: He swings again.
PALADIN: What? But it’s not his turn!
GM: Legendary action. He crits.
PALADIN: Great Derpsnake, if you happen to be friends with the Lord of Scorpions, now would be a good time!
GM: 53 damage.
PALADIN: Oh, I’m down and bleeding out.

BARD: Aren’t you supposed to be all about divine retribution?
PALADIN: I’m more of a healing and protecting paladin. Derpsnake just wants everyone to be happy.
BARD: You need a brain to be happy!
PALADIN: Honestly, I find my brain is often what’s keeping me from being happy.

PALADIN: One two three four…I CAN HEAR YOU YOU KNOW two three four…
GM: He suddenly sits up and sprays green gunk all over you. But he’s breathing again!
PALADIN: Yeah, I expected that. It’s fine. I’m a faithful servant of Derpsnake. It’s fine.

I now need a Derpsnake shirt. In addition to a White Rat shirt.

You just toss this shit into our brains and march on while we are going "ooooh"

Look at this creature. it was made by @hapicoma.bsky.social You may turn me into the derpsnake at any time during a stream. In the meanwhile, go give Hapi monies, as they're a wonderful artist!

Living that boop-the-snoot lifestyle.

Here's a test shot with my new to me Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 L IS USM, that I picked up earlier this evening. 😁🤙🍁🐍

#CornSnake #MacroPhotography #NoThoughtsHeadEmpty #SnootBooping #NoodleLife #HandheldShot #ReptileGram #DerpSnake #MacroTest #OhMyDouglas #ScalyBaby

Is the good news about botflies that the Derpsnake eats them, or something?

Now I want to make a "palidin of derpsnake" digital frame.