Trump: We will subjugate the world w/tariffs.
China: No rare earths for you! No markets for soy farmers!
Trump: We must subjugate Venezuela for rare earths! Oil companies will pay!
Exxon: Um, no we won't!
Trump: We must pay the oil companies to occupy Venezuela for their rare earths!
Soy farmers: ?
China: No rare earths for you! No markets for soy farmers!
Trump: We must subjugate Venezuela for rare earths! Oil companies will pay!
Exxon: Um, no we won't!
Trump: We must pay the oil companies to occupy Venezuela for their rare earths!
Soy farmers: ?
January 6, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Trump: We will subjugate the world w/tariffs.
China: No rare earths for you! No markets for soy farmers!
Trump: We must subjugate Venezuela for rare earths! Oil companies will pay!
Exxon: Um, no we won't!
Trump: We must pay the oil companies to occupy Venezuela for their rare earths!
Soy farmers: ?
China: No rare earths for you! No markets for soy farmers!
Trump: We must subjugate Venezuela for rare earths! Oil companies will pay!
Exxon: Um, no we won't!
Trump: We must pay the oil companies to occupy Venezuela for their rare earths!
Soy farmers: ?
red sky in morning, Crisis On Infinite Earths. red sky at night, you guessed it … also Crisis On Infinite Earths
December 2, 2024 at 2:16 PM
red sky in morning, Crisis On Infinite Earths. red sky at night, you guessed it … also Crisis On Infinite Earths
so now we're not even getting the rare earths? some dealmaker
February 28, 2025 at 6:56 PM
so now we're not even getting the rare earths? some dealmaker
Will you help to restore the Super Earths population?
June 6, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Will you help to restore the Super Earths population?
China restricting exports of rare earths is the thing that’s going to cause Trump to cave on China while declaring victory.
April 5, 2025 at 1:12 AM
China restricting exports of rare earths is the thing that’s going to cause Trump to cave on China while declaring victory.
The ones who annex Omelas for the rare earths
January 20, 2026 at 8:00 PM
The ones who annex Omelas for the rare earths
My variant for Storm: Earths Mightiest Mutant 2
This is very much stylistically in line with the Black Cat cover, hopefully I can turn this into a series of sorts.
This is very much stylistically in line with the Black Cat cover, hopefully I can turn this into a series of sorts.
January 26, 2026 at 5:05 PM
My variant for Storm: Earths Mightiest Mutant 2
This is very much stylistically in line with the Black Cat cover, hopefully I can turn this into a series of sorts.
This is very much stylistically in line with the Black Cat cover, hopefully I can turn this into a series of sorts.
September 6, 2025 at 7:55 PM
I think Europe should get the ‘raw earths’
March 2, 2025 at 7:56 AM
I think Europe should get the ‘raw earths’
Raw earths. They're called raw earths now.
March 7, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Raw earths. They're called raw earths now.
China, the largest exporter of rare earths, has expanded export controls.
Rare Earth Stocks Decline As US-China Trade Tensions Persist
China, the largest exporter of rare earths, has expanded export controls.
www.forbes.com
October 14, 2025 at 2:15 PM
China, the largest exporter of rare earths, has expanded export controls.
petition to rename rare earths “actually-not-so-rare earths”
June 12, 2025 at 9:05 PM
petition to rename rare earths “actually-not-so-rare earths”
You come for my rare earths…but you do it without respect
February 11, 2025 at 5:09 PM
You come for my rare earths…but you do it without respect
Official ranking of planet earths:
1) the documentary
2) the planet
1) the documentary
2) the planet
May 2, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Official ranking of planet earths:
1) the documentary
2) the planet
1) the documentary
2) the planet
Finnish Ski Jumping Team Caught Tampering With Earth’s Gravitational Field https://theonion.com/finnish-ski-jumping-team-caught-tampering-with-earths-gravitational-field/
February 14, 2026 at 5:45 PM
Finnish Ski Jumping Team Caught Tampering With Earth’s Gravitational Field https://theonion.com/finnish-ski-jumping-team-caught-tampering-with-earths-gravitational-field/