Experts Recommend Using Hunger As Egg Substitute
theonion.com/experts...
theonion.com/experts...
March 21, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Experts Recommend Using Hunger As Egg Substitute
theonion.com/experts...
theonion.com/experts...
So, the MAGAincels who went from being experts on infectious diseases to experts on vaccines, military withdrawals, presidential immunity, firearm forms and libel law, are now experts on interoceanic waterways and international shipping policy.
Do I have that just about right?
Do I have that just about right?
December 26, 2024 at 6:50 PM
So, the MAGAincels who went from being experts on infectious diseases to experts on vaccines, military withdrawals, presidential immunity, firearm forms and libel law, are now experts on interoceanic waterways and international shipping policy.
Do I have that just about right?
Do I have that just about right?
Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back https://theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-up-at-desk-leaving-o-1819577456/
October 7, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back https://theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-up-at-desk-leaving-o-1819577456/
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
September 30, 2025 at 12:10 PM
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
"Some legal experts have called it a crime to summarily kill civilians."
So, the MAGAincels who went from being experts on infectious diseases to experts on vaccines, military withdrawals, presidential immunity, firearm forms, voting rights, libel law and interoceanic waterways are now experts on wildfire management?
Do I have that just about right?
Do I have that just about right?
January 13, 2025 at 3:09 PM
So, the MAGAincels who went from being experts on infectious diseases to experts on vaccines, military withdrawals, presidential immunity, firearm forms, voting rights, libel law and interoceanic waterways are now experts on wildfire management?
Do I have that just about right?
Do I have that just about right?
Only the best experts for 47.
August 30, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Only the best experts for 47.
Yesterday‘s health experts are today’s blackhawk helicopter experts
January 30, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Yesterday‘s health experts are today’s blackhawk helicopter experts
Time to bring in the experts.
September 11, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Time to bring in the experts.
"experts say"
www.cnn.com/2025/08/11/b...
www.cnn.com/2025/08/11/b...
September 26, 2025 at 1:59 AM
"experts say"
www.cnn.com/2025/08/11/b...
www.cnn.com/2025/08/11/b...
The counterterrorism experts have arrived at the White House..
October 8, 2025 at 11:55 PM
The counterterrorism experts have arrived at the White House..
Experts Recommend Putting Injured Person In Some Sort Of Cylindrical Tank Filled With Fluid
theonion.com/experts-reco...
theonion.com/experts-reco...
December 19, 2024 at 4:54 PM
Experts Recommend Putting Injured Person In Some Sort Of Cylindrical Tank Filled With Fluid
theonion.com/experts-reco...
theonion.com/experts-reco...
the economy's so bad that all the online submarine experts from last year had to become bridge experts
March 27, 2024 at 1:48 PM
the economy's so bad that all the online submarine experts from last year had to become bridge experts
I just followed a bunch of counter-terrorism experts. No particular reason.
June 22, 2025 at 1:27 PM
I just followed a bunch of counter-terrorism experts. No particular reason.
Heat Safety Experts Advise Americans To Seek Privilege https://theonion.com/heat-safety-experts-advise-americans-to-seek-privilege-1850623871/
August 5, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Heat Safety Experts Advise Americans To Seek Privilege https://theonion.com/heat-safety-experts-advise-americans-to-seek-privilege-1850623871/
Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.
July 30, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.
"Experts are dubious"
April 3, 2026 at 6:04 PM
"Experts are dubious"
EXPERTS IN WHAT EXACTLY
April 3, 2026 at 6:41 PM
EXPERTS IN WHAT EXACTLY
Any handwriting experts out there?
Oh wait, we don’t need one because we have eyes…
Oh wait, we don’t need one because we have eyes…
September 9, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Any handwriting experts out there?
Oh wait, we don’t need one because we have eyes…
Oh wait, we don’t need one because we have eyes…
Experts Point To Long, Glorious History Of Successful U.S. Bombing Campaigns https://theonion.com/experts-point-to-long-glorious-history-of-successful-u-1819575498/
March 2, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Experts Point To Long, Glorious History Of Successful U.S. Bombing Campaigns https://theonion.com/experts-point-to-long-glorious-history-of-successful-u-1819575498/
One of our best security experts sums it up:
March 4, 2025 at 8:14 PM
One of our best security experts sums it up:
we need to listen to the experts
“Rather than worrying about eating a balanced diet or maintaining an active lifestyle, our advice is to spend as much time as possible in the gym hitting dumbbell curls until your biceps are crazy big.” — Dr. Willie Underwood III, American Medical Association president
American Medical Association: ‘Huge Biceps Are Only Thing That Matters’
CHICAGO—Granting the public permission to disregard the organization’s previous recommendations, American Medical Association officials announced this week that huge biceps were now the only thing tha...
theonion.com
September 24, 2026 at 11:48 AM
we need to listen to the experts
Anxiety Experts Recommend Sneaking Off To Do Drugs In Bathroom https://theonion.com/anxiety-experts-recommend-sneaking-off-to-do-drugs-in-bathroom/
January 20, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Anxiety Experts Recommend Sneaking Off To Do Drugs In Bathroom https://theonion.com/anxiety-experts-recommend-sneaking-off-to-do-drugs-in-bathroom/
Experts Warn Transitioning Too Quickly From Work To Vacation Could Cause Decompression Sickness
theonion.com/experts...
theonion.com/experts...
April 2, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Experts Warn Transitioning Too Quickly From Work To Vacation Could Cause Decompression Sickness
theonion.com/experts...
theonion.com/experts...
Experts Advise Against Throwing Laptop Across Office Even Though It Will Feel Incredible https://theonion.com/experts-advise-against-throwing-laptop-across-office-ev-1819579112/
September 9, 2026 at 9:05 PM
Experts Advise Against Throwing Laptop Across Office Even Though It Will Feel Incredible https://theonion.com/experts-advise-against-throwing-laptop-across-office-ev-1819579112/