Following his unprovoked attack on my Christmas jigsaw and in a quite frankly ridiculous attempt to influence his court martial, Field Marshal JPC is trying to buy the jury.
Do not fall for it.
#FMJPC
Do not fall for it.
#FMJPC
January 5, 2025 at 10:40 AM
Following his unprovoked attack on my Christmas jigsaw and in a quite frankly ridiculous attempt to influence his court martial, Field Marshal JPC is trying to buy the jury.
Do not fall for it.
#FMJPC
Do not fall for it.
#FMJPC
The Regiment reports that, at some point between 0730 and 0800 this morning, two freshly boiled eggs went missing from the breakfast table. We are currently interviewing all witnesses. Field Marshal JPC has strongly implied that it was one of next door’s bastard infidel cats. #FMJPC
December 19, 2024 at 9:12 AM
The Regiment reports that, at some point between 0730 and 0800 this morning, two freshly boiled eggs went missing from the breakfast table. We are currently interviewing all witnesses. Field Marshal JPC has strongly implied that it was one of next door’s bastard infidel cats. #FMJPC
Every Friday at 12.30, the Field Marshal meditates. He focuses on the neighbourhood's bastard infidel cats and tries to blow them up using his famous spontaneous feline combustion chant. As I write, there are pops being heard but that could be my elderly neighbour putting out her hip again. #FMJPC
September 25, 2026 at 11:55 AM
Every Friday at 12.30, the Field Marshal meditates. He focuses on the neighbourhood's bastard infidel cats and tries to blow them up using his famous spontaneous feline combustion chant. As I write, there are pops being heard but that could be my elderly neighbour putting out her hip again. #FMJPC
Like all elite military units, Field Marshal JPC is multi-faceted. Here he can be seen executing his minesweeper tail technology to keep the Officer’s Mess clear of all dangerous debris. #FMJPC
February 7, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Like all elite military units, Field Marshal JPC is multi-faceted. Here he can be seen executing his minesweeper tail technology to keep the Officer’s Mess clear of all dangerous debris. #FMJPC
Field Marshal JPC has just realised that I’ve been hiding his hated worming tablets in his special French brie cheese treats. Up until today it has always fooled him. For the first time he has refused brie. Repeat, the dog has refused brie. He is preparing for war. We are at DefCon 1. #FMJPC
January 12, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Field Marshal JPC has just realised that I’ve been hiding his hated worming tablets in his special French brie cheese treats. Up until today it has always fooled him. For the first time he has refused brie. Repeat, the dog has refused brie. He is preparing for war. We are at DefCon 1. #FMJPC
To mark National Love Your Pet Day, the Regiment has released a rare picture of the Field Marshal before his transformation into the elite and manly military fighting machine that he is today. #FMJPC
February 20, 2025 at 7:59 PM
To mark National Love Your Pet Day, the Regiment has released a rare picture of the Field Marshal before his transformation into the elite and manly military fighting machine that he is today. #FMJPC
As Bluesky comes to life, #FMJPC is reminded of the words of his former comrade, Sergeant Bourne, uttered at Rorke’s Drift in 1879. “New followers Wheatley, dozens of ‘em.”
November 15, 2024 at 1:02 PM
As Bluesky comes to life, #FMJPC is reminded of the words of his former comrade, Sergeant Bourne, uttered at Rorke’s Drift in 1879. “New followers Wheatley, dozens of ‘em.”
The Regiment notes that the auditions for the next James Bond have begun. Their candidate, former elite special forces commando Field Marshal Juan Pablo Cardoza, was cruelly overlooked last time because he wasn’t born yet. Consider this his audition and do the right thing. #FMJPC
May 16, 2026 at 9:36 AM
The Regiment notes that the auditions for the next James Bond have begun. Their candidate, former elite special forces commando Field Marshal Juan Pablo Cardoza, was cruelly overlooked last time because he wasn’t born yet. Consider this his audition and do the right thing. #FMJPC
Field Marshal JPC was waiting for me at the top of the stairs earlier. He’s clearly planning something. Or already done something. #FMJPC
March 26, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Field Marshal JPC was waiting for me at the top of the stairs earlier. He’s clearly planning something. Or already done something. #FMJPC
Do not be fooled by the Field Marshal’s look of innocence Overnight, he vomited in the hallway, left a trail of explosive diarrhoea across the kitchen floor & then rolled in fox poo during his walk. He is going to the vet at 5pm. The howls of regret will be audible across the world. #FMJPC
August 4, 2026 at 2:46 PM
Do not be fooled by the Field Marshal’s look of innocence Overnight, he vomited in the hallway, left a trail of explosive diarrhoea across the kitchen floor & then rolled in fox poo during his walk. He is going to the vet at 5pm. The howls of regret will be audible across the world. #FMJPC
The first day at work in 2025 didn’t stop Field Marshal JPC launching a surprise training attack from under the dining room table at 1100 hours. I surrendered quickly but he could be heard muttering “You can’t handle the truth” as he retreated. #FMJPC
January 2, 2025 at 1:32 PM
The first day at work in 2025 didn’t stop Field Marshal JPC launching a surprise training attack from under the dining room table at 1100 hours. I surrendered quickly but he could be heard muttering “You can’t handle the truth” as he retreated. #FMJPC
As well as being a highly decorated elite special forces fighting unit, Field Marshal JPC is a well read intellectual. Observe how he looks up from his studies to ponder the fate of the neighbourhood cats, who are extremely dense.
“Forgive them, for they know not what they do”, he says. #FMJPC
“Forgive them, for they know not what they do”, he says. #FMJPC
January 18, 2025 at 10:46 AM
As well as being a highly decorated elite special forces fighting unit, Field Marshal JPC is a well read intellectual. Observe how he looks up from his studies to ponder the fate of the neighbourhood cats, who are extremely dense.
“Forgive them, for they know not what they do”, he says. #FMJPC
“Forgive them, for they know not what they do”, he says. #FMJPC
We regret that Field Marshal JPC was observed taking a prized towel that had been in the Regiment’s possession since Prep School in 1979 (it still has my name tag), tearing a hole in it for his head & converting it into his new ceremonial toga. Another court martial is imminent. #FMJPC
November 28, 2024 at 1:32 PM
We regret that Field Marshal JPC was observed taking a prized towel that had been in the Regiment’s possession since Prep School in 1979 (it still has my name tag), tearing a hole in it for his head & converting it into his new ceremonial toga. Another court martial is imminent. #FMJPC
Seeing as the world appears to be going to shit, the Field Marshal has requested that the Regiment re-issues his SAS graduation photo to cheer everyone up. #FMJPC
January 20, 2026 at 11:03 PM
Seeing as the world appears to be going to shit, the Field Marshal has requested that the Regiment re-issues his SAS graduation photo to cheer everyone up. #FMJPC
Field Marshal JPC is usually impeccably turned out. However, it’s a different story this morning. The Regiment is trying to corroborate his story that he repelled a dawn raid of heavily armed bastard infidel cats & deserves the Victoria Cross. We are also checking the drinks cabinet. #FMJPC
December 7, 2024 at 9:34 AM
Field Marshal JPC is usually impeccably turned out. However, it’s a different story this morning. The Regiment is trying to corroborate his story that he repelled a dawn raid of heavily armed bastard infidel cats & deserves the Victoria Cross. We are also checking the drinks cabinet. #FMJPC
About 15 minutes ago, the Field Marshal got up from the sofa, went to another room, puked up, ate it all up and returned. He is now fast asleep again on the sofa. The whole episode took less than a minute.
Everybody is pretending nothing happened. #FMJPC
Everybody is pretending nothing happened. #FMJPC
March 7, 2025 at 12:18 AM
About 15 minutes ago, the Field Marshal got up from the sofa, went to another room, puked up, ate it all up and returned. He is now fast asleep again on the sofa. The whole episode took less than a minute.
Everybody is pretending nothing happened. #FMJPC
Everybody is pretending nothing happened. #FMJPC
It is the Field Marshal’s birthday. He is marking it with a clinical demonstration of his famous dead dog on the stairs ambush technique. #FMJPC
July 21, 2026 at 11:24 AM
It is the Field Marshal’s birthday. He is marking it with a clinical demonstration of his famous dead dog on the stairs ambush technique. #FMJPC
I’m currently working away from home a lot. In this time, Field Marshal JPC has tried to replace me. He is not allowed upstairs but last night I went up to find him on my side of the bed. He made some very angry noises when I moved him. It sounded very much like “You can’t handle the truth.” #FMJPC
February 20, 2025 at 10:41 AM
I’m currently working away from home a lot. In this time, Field Marshal JPC has tried to replace me. He is not allowed upstairs but last night I went up to find him on my side of the bed. He made some very angry noises when I moved him. It sounded very much like “You can’t handle the truth.” #FMJPC
Like many elite military units, Field Marshal JPC enjoys the occasional cigar, especially after a successful campaign. Here he is celebrating scaring the little cajones off next door’s bastard infidel cat by ambushing him in the corner of the garden for looking highly suspicious. #FMJPC
January 31, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Like many elite military units, Field Marshal JPC enjoys the occasional cigar, especially after a successful campaign. Here he is celebrating scaring the little cajones off next door’s bastard infidel cat by ambushing him in the corner of the garden for looking highly suspicious. #FMJPC
The problem with an elite military unit like the Field Marshal is that when working from home I often get the feeling that I’m being watched. #FMJPC
March 11, 2026 at 4:28 PM
The problem with an elite military unit like the Field Marshal is that when working from home I often get the feeling that I’m being watched. #FMJPC
FMJPC has an honest face. 😅
December 20, 2024 at 2:24 AM
FMJPC has an honest face. 😅
The Regiment regrets that, at 1400 hours, Field Marshal JPC spotted the largest fox poo ever seen. Despite several warnings, he proceeded to roll his entire body in it. Several times. His subsequent display of satisfaction led to an immediate court martial and bath. This is the face of shame. #FMJPC
April 18, 2025 at 7:24 PM
The Regiment regrets that, at 1400 hours, Field Marshal JPC spotted the largest fox poo ever seen. Despite several warnings, he proceeded to roll his entire body in it. Several times. His subsequent display of satisfaction led to an immediate court martial and bath. This is the face of shame. #FMJPC