The Midway's dignified retirement was recently interrupted when a 65-foot motor boat banged into the warship.

#Satire #CrimeNews #FloridaManEnergy #Overachiever #Facepalm By: TheJestPress.com In an unprecedented display of “go big or go home” logic, local suspect Gary Tindle reportedly told police he “already knew he was going to jail,” so he figured, “Why not double down?” after being apprehended for the murder of his unfaithful wife. Authorities now believe Tindle holds the record for the only person to treat felony charges like a late-night snack run—“If I’m already out, I might as well grab something extra.”