Carrying Grief Like a Backpack: Rebuilding Self-Trust After Loss | Lori Karsch
Grief doesn't run on anyone else's timeline, and rebuilding trust in yourself after loss is less about one big breakthrough than learning to hear your own inner voice again, then actually acting on it.
"I was carrying the grief about my mom around with me like a backpack for like 20 years... it was part of my identity, and I had to unpack that." — Lori Karsch
That inner voice mattered in practice, not just in theory. Lori was engaged to another man when her mother lay dying, and everyone in her life, including her own mother, told her the marriage was a mistake. Her gut agreed. She called it off. She met her husband a year later, and they've now been married 25 years.
In this conversation, Lori and Philippa talk about what it actually looks like to rebuild self-trust after losing your mother young and growing up in a chaotic, sometimes violent home: the slow work of setting boundaries, unlearning people-pleasing, and telling the difference between grief for a death and grief for a version of yourself you thought you'd become.
They also get into why "you should be over it by now" is one of the most damaging things you can say to someone grieving, and why healing doesn't mean loving the person you lost any less.
Lori Karsch is a bestselling memoir author, speaker, mentor and certified counselor with a graduate degree in school counseling. She helps women reconnect with themselves after grief, emotional hardship and major life transitions. Her memoir, Torn Wide Open, charts her path from losing her mother young to reclaiming her inner voice and trust in herself. She's now developing New Perspective Retreats for women navigating major life transitions.
Connect with Lori Karsch:
🌐 https://www.lorikarsch.com
📖 Torn Wide Open (book): https://a.co/d/07dOKHGA
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/loribkarsch
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loribkarsch