I keep telling myself the same thing...
Maybe it's just my way of staying sane in this crazy situation we're all living in.
Someday I'll wake up...
And he won't.
He's 80.
He's fat.
He doesn't exercise and eats nothing but McDonald's.
Someday, he won't wake up.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
Maybe it's just my way of staying sane in this crazy situation we're all living in.
Someday I'll wake up...
And he won't.
He's 80.
He's fat.
He doesn't exercise and eats nothing but McDonald's.
Someday, he won't wake up.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
September 29, 2026 at 3:21 AM
I keep telling myself the same thing...
Maybe it's just my way of staying sane in this crazy situation we're all living in.
Someday I'll wake up...
And he won't.
He's 80.
He's fat.
He doesn't exercise and eats nothing but McDonald's.
Someday, he won't wake up.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
Maybe it's just my way of staying sane in this crazy situation we're all living in.
Someday I'll wake up...
And he won't.
He's 80.
He's fat.
He doesn't exercise and eats nothing but McDonald's.
Someday, he won't wake up.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
March 23, 2026 at 3:32 AM
I keep telling myself the same thing.
Maybe it's just my way of staying sane in this crazy situation we're all living in.
Someday I'll wake up,
And he won't.
He's 80.
He's fat.
He doesn't exercise and eats nothing but McDonald's.
And someday, he won't wake up.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
Maybe it's just my way of staying sane in this crazy situation we're all living in.
Someday I'll wake up,
And he won't.
He's 80.
He's fat.
He doesn't exercise and eats nothing but McDonald's.
And someday, he won't wake up.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
September 29, 2026 at 3:21 AM
I keep telling myself the same thing.
Maybe it's just my way of staying sane in this crazy situation we're all living in.
Someday I'll wake up,
And he won't.
He's 80.
He's fat.
He doesn't exercise and eats nothing but McDonald's.
And someday, he won't wake up.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
Maybe it's just my way of staying sane in this crazy situation we're all living in.
Someday I'll wake up,
And he won't.
He's 80.
He's fat.
He doesn't exercise and eats nothing but McDonald's.
And someday, he won't wake up.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary!
I'm taking a screen shot, reacting everything but his name, date of birth, and date of death and printing that shit out!
I'm calling it #TheBIGBeautifulObituary: Epstein Edition.
I'm taking a screen shot, reacting everything but his name, date of birth, and date of death and printing that shit out!
I'm calling it #TheBIGBeautifulObituary: Epstein Edition.
September 22, 2026 at 2:34 AM
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary!
I'm taking a screen shot, reacting everything but his name, date of birth, and date of death and printing that shit out!
I'm calling it #TheBIGBeautifulObituary: Epstein Edition.
I'm taking a screen shot, reacting everything but his name, date of birth, and date of death and printing that shit out!
I'm calling it #TheBIGBeautifulObituary: Epstein Edition.
So do I, and I live here.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
April 22, 2026 at 5:06 AM
So do I, and I live here.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
History might not repeat itself, but it has a nasty way of rhyming.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
March 23, 2026 at 3:30 AM
History might not repeat itself, but it has a nasty way of rhyming.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
"In about 2 weeks" is code for "I have no idea what I'm doing."
#icantwaittoreadhisobituary
#icantwaittoreadhisobituary
June 29, 2025 at 8:45 PM
"In about 2 weeks" is code for "I have no idea what I'm doing."
#icantwaittoreadhisobituary
#icantwaittoreadhisobituary
If I had a nickel for every time the Grim Reaper took a beloved 80‑year‑old icon instead of someone who’s been coasting on borrowed time, I’d have two nickels...
Which isn’t a lot, but it’s still somehow too few, and too many.
#ComeOnCholesterol
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#WRONG80YearOld
Which isn’t a lot, but it’s still somehow too few, and too many.
#ComeOnCholesterol
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#WRONG80YearOld
August 26, 2026 at 11:34 PM
If I had a nickel for every time the Grim Reaper took a beloved 80‑year‑old icon instead of someone who’s been coasting on borrowed time, I’d have two nickels...
Which isn’t a lot, but it’s still somehow too few, and too many.
#ComeOnCholesterol
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#WRONG80YearOld
Which isn’t a lot, but it’s still somehow too few, and too many.
#ComeOnCholesterol
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#WRONG80YearOld
so he can just outright attack the freaking pope now and all the Evangelical, Bible-thumping, God-fearing, Pearl-clutching White Nationalist MAGAts are like... *crickets*
Is that where we're at now?
Good to know.
#WheresTheOutrage
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
Is that where we're at now?
Good to know.
#WheresTheOutrage
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
April 13, 2026 at 7:05 PM
so he can just outright attack the freaking pope now and all the Evangelical, Bible-thumping, God-fearing, Pearl-clutching White Nationalist MAGAts are like... *crickets*
Is that where we're at now?
Good to know.
#WheresTheOutrage
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
Is that where we're at now?
Good to know.
#WheresTheOutrage
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ArrestTrumpNow! #ArrestThemAllNow they're all #WarCriminals!
#TrumpIsGuilty of #CrimesAgainstHumanity #TrumpForPrison2026
#TrumpForPrison2027
#TrumpForPrison2028
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#TrumpIsGuilty of #CrimesAgainstHumanity #TrumpForPrison2026
#TrumpForPrison2027
#TrumpForPrison2028
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
September 20, 2026 at 2:14 AM
In order for the "no more Mr. Nice guy" line to land, he'd have to have been nice at some point.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
August 28, 2026 at 5:21 PM
In order for the "no more Mr. Nice guy" line to land, he'd have to have been nice at some point.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
I've had people tell me not to wish death/harm on my enemies, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't afford me the same courtesy, so screw it!
I'll openly wish the same as they'd wish me!
Isn't there some old Bible crap about doing unto others as they do unto you?
#IsHeDeadYet
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
I'll openly wish the same as they'd wish me!
Isn't there some old Bible crap about doing unto others as they do unto you?
#IsHeDeadYet
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
August 25, 2026 at 2:00 AM
I've had people tell me not to wish death/harm on my enemies, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't afford me the same courtesy, so screw it!
I'll openly wish the same as they'd wish me!
Isn't there some old Bible crap about doing unto others as they do unto you?
#IsHeDeadYet
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
I'll openly wish the same as they'd wish me!
Isn't there some old Bible crap about doing unto others as they do unto you?
#IsHeDeadYet
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
With any luck, this fat, orange national embarrassment will die soon!
He's running on pure malice and borrowed time at this point, so
hopefully it won't be much longer before he joins Ms. Lindsay in hell!
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary!
#JustDieAlready!
He's running on pure malice and borrowed time at this point, so
hopefully it won't be much longer before he joins Ms. Lindsay in hell!
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary!
#JustDieAlready!
August 24, 2026 at 9:52 PM
With any luck, this fat, orange national embarrassment will die soon!
He's running on pure malice and borrowed time at this point, so
hopefully it won't be much longer before he joins Ms. Lindsay in hell!
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary!
#JustDieAlready!
He's running on pure malice and borrowed time at this point, so
hopefully it won't be much longer before he joins Ms. Lindsay in hell!
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary!
#JustDieAlready!
Come on cholesterol!
I believe in you!
Work faster!
You can do it!
#IsHeDeadYet #ComeOnCholesterol
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#TrumpForHell2026
I believe in you!
Work faster!
You can do it!
#IsHeDeadYet #ComeOnCholesterol
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#TrumpForHell2026
August 14, 2026 at 7:22 PM
Come on cholesterol!
I believe in you!
Work faster!
You can do it!
#IsHeDeadYet #ComeOnCholesterol
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#TrumpForHell2026
I believe in you!
Work faster!
You can do it!
#IsHeDeadYet #ComeOnCholesterol
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#TrumpForHell2026
I'm not saying that I'd ever wish anyone dead... I'm just saying if certain people... I don't know... Let's say they had strokes or massive heart attacks, and were no longer alive, the world would be a better place to live.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ComeOnCholesterol
#StrokeStrokeStroke
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ComeOnCholesterol
#StrokeStrokeStroke
August 13, 2026 at 7:47 PM
I'm not saying that I'd ever wish anyone dead... I'm just saying if certain people... I don't know... Let's say they had strokes or massive heart attacks, and were no longer alive, the world would be a better place to live.
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ComeOnCholesterol
#StrokeStrokeStroke
#ICantWaitToReadHisObituary
#ComeOnCholesterol
#StrokeStrokeStroke