"I try not to use the C* word because I know it will offend women. To use a part of the female anatomy as one of the most offensive words is incredibly insulting. So I don't use it. In principle. But the problem is how are you supposed to drive?" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToBeAMan

"The job of the police is not to protect the public, but to protect the state and the economy" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation

"Clinics offering gender selection for pregnancy now have a success rate of 50%" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToBeAFather

"Biblical names are always popular, although names like Herod, Judas and Sodom are to be avoided" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToBeAFather

"Jesus was a glove puppet" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToBeAFather

"A man who has no children can feel a failure. Especially if he has lost them somewhere" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToBeAFather

"You could ask how can you trust a conservative politician when they cheat on their wives? What you should ask is how could their wives trust their husbands when they know they are conservative politicians?" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToBeALeaderOfMen

"A real father is someone who loves and cares for their kids and helps to bring them up. This means most children in history have been illegitimate" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToHaveABaby

"That's why we don't have black judges in Britain -- most juries would convict them" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToBeFree

"How can we make our society more free? I know what you liberals are thinking. You're thinking 'errrrrrrrrm'" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToBeFree

"Britain does all it can to make asylum seekers feel at home by treating them as badly as they were treated in the country they came from" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToeBeFree

"When women are attacked, they often blame themselves. But they shouldn't take the law into their own hands. It's the job of the courts to blame them" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToStayAlive

"A hundred years ago psychiatric patients were treated abominably because of ignorance. Today it's because of wilful neglect and The Tory government" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToStayAlive

"America is often called The World's police because they beat the shit out of anyone who disagrees with them. And it's very easy to run down the police, but not as easy as it is for them to run us down" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToFightFireWithFire

"The gunpowder plot -- the only realistic attempt to change Parliament from within" #JeremyHardySpeaksToTheNation #HowToFightFireWithFire