Posts of yore:

@novicefather
Welcome to kleptomaniac club. I see you already took a brochure

@JillMorris
Skipping meals isn't as jovial as it sounds

@Petote
This person is driving so slow that I can get out of my car walk up to their car and slap him across the face while they are still driving

BRITISH EMBASSY THE BEST SUMMER EVENT IN ANKARA BritishAmbassador to Ankara HerExcellency #JillMorris, hosted us with her kind hospitality at the best summer event in Ankara for the WimbledonWomen'sSingles final We'd like to thank Ambassador Jill Morris. #ukinturkiye #GaryBenham

3 clever tweets of yore:

@Tommytoughstuff
[Hostage situation]
Um I don't want to be "that hostage", but I just want to let you know I have a gluten allergy.

@hippieswordfish
'hi I'm Huey Lewis and here are tonight's top stories'

@JillMorris
Skipping meals isn't as jovial as it sounds.

#funny