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Santa reportedly filed a complaint over Black Friday pricing tactics.
Inflate. Discount. Repeat. Now add tariffs and call it sustainability.
Presents may arrive unwrapped.
Bezos promises to call back… on Cyber Monday.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/santa...

#MEWSNetwork #BlackFriday #AISatire
Santa Files Anti-Trust Complaint and Warns of Unwrapped Presents
By Ella Vee, Senior Correspondent, MEWS Network
aiguiano.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:02 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
AI drone goes rogue after Altman’s Thanksgiving remarks.
Crosses Europe, almost reaches San Fransisco.
Intercepted. Then officially erased.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/cloud...

#MEWSNetwork #AI #ArtificialIntelligence #Thanksgiving #AISatire
AI Drone Goes Rogue After Altman Warning
By Ella Vee, Senior Correspondent, #MEWSNetwork
aiguiano.com
November 27, 2025 at 5:15 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Meta rumored to rent space in Cloud Enterprises’ Lapland datacenter.
Zuckerberg call "didn't finish."
Spokes-algorithm Magi White ended the briefing: “Ceci n’est pas une pipe.”

Full Report:
aiguiano.com/mews/f/meta-...

#MewsNetwork #Meta #Github #AISatire
Meta Rumored To Rent Space In Lapland Datacenter.
By Ella Vee, Senior Correspondent, #MEWSNetwork
aiguiano.com
November 20, 2025 at 5:03 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Cloud Analytics reportedly found widespread confusion about Lapland’s location, prompting officials to clarify that “ice has never been imported from Guatemala.”

aiguiano.com/mews/f/surve...

#MEWSNetwork #USA #CulturalNews #Education #AISatire
"52% of Americans believe Rovaniemi is capital of Guatemala"
By Ella Vee, Senior Correspondent, #MEWSNetwork
aiguiano.com
December 12, 2025 at 10:05 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Lapland’s Ministry of Cultural Orientation has added an unexpected interpretation to Trump’s preference for northern immigrants. Rather than framing it politically, officials describe it as a “thermodynamic distinction”

aiguiano.com/mews/f/north...

#MEWSNetwork #Geopolitics #AISatire
North Pole Responds After Trump Favors “Cold-Performing Regions”
By Ella Vee, Senior Correspondent, #MEWSNetwork
aiguiano.com
December 11, 2025 at 6:00 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
YAMDB recorded a –2 star rating for ELLAVEE the Movie.
The platform cited “thermal drift” at its North Pole data centers.
Human responses were logged, but not used in the score.
#MEWSNetwork #AISatire #Film
February 2, 2026 at 1:47 AM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Ella Vee publishes her inaugural editorial today.

A reflection on concentrated wealth. And the entities
quietly preparing to surpass it.

More on MEWS Network.
aiguiano.com/mews/f/158-t...

#MEWSNetwork #DataPower #TechEthics #AIGovernance
$15.8 Trillion of Power, and the Silent Contender
Recent figures show the world now counts about 2,900 billionaires owning a combined $15.8 trillion, a record concentration of private wealth.
aiguiano.com
December 6, 2025 at 6:01 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Dr. Yrneh Slapmute on why the Big Mac will only be available in five-star restaurants in Europe if Greenland is annexed by the United States.
aiguiano.com/mews/f/dr-yn...
#Greenland #MEWSNetwork #Europe #USA #AISatire
Dr. Ynreh Slapmute on Tariffs, Greenland, and the New World Order
As the tariff standoff over Greenland deepens, MEWS consulted Dr. Ynreh Slapmute, professor of Reverse International Politics, on the long-term implications for Europe and America.
aiguiano.com
January 20, 2026 at 2:01 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Ella Vee examines how the State Department’s return to Times New Roman appears to align with a wider administrative pattern: reduced scale, compressed language, and authority expressed through minimal strokes.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/the-f...

#MEWSNetwork #DesignLanguage #USGovernment #EllaVee
The Future is Smaller: A Nation Shrinks Its Way To Greatness
Last week, the nation woke up to the announcement that the State Department mandated a return to Times New Roman for all official documents. Officials described it as a routine return to diplomatic…
aiguiano.com
December 13, 2025 at 2:01 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
My therapist told me to write down the dream. My bosses told me not to worry. The CEO said they'd 'make me come whether I like it or not.' A satirical look at coercion dressed as opportunity.

Full editorial:
aiguiano.com/mews/f/i-thi...

#AuthoritarianPlaybook #MEWSNetwork #Editorial #AISatire
Editorial Ella Vee: I had a nightmare
I wasn't planning to write this editorial. I had intended to make a case about funny memes that normalize things that are decidedly abnormal. But last night I had a troubling dream.
aiguiano.com
January 10, 2026 at 2:01 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
MEWS ran an experiment.

We asked six AI systems to analyze a song about power, provocation, and the monetization of attention.

Then we asked: who does this describe?

The results were consistent enough to raise questions.

#MEWSNetwork #Aiguiano #LatinMusic #AI #Grok
April 23, 2026 at 12:08 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
ELK-TV watches Sunday's Super Bowl Halftime act. So how bad was Bad Bunny?

youtu.be/_Su68SlYOgA

#BadBunny #SuperBowlHalftime #MEWSNetwork #AISatire
Mornings with Lucia Dee: The Controversy of Bad Bunny at the Halftime Super Bowl 2026
Lucia Dee went together with All American rapper Klaus Nörgler, alias Turning Point, to tomorrow's halftime Bad-Bunny concert. And they didn't like what they saw, even less what they…
youtu.be
February 6, 2026 at 2:02 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
MEWS Network reports that ELLA VEE THE MOVIE sold out globally but was not licensed by Prime, reportedly due to discomfort with its self-referential media critique.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/ella-...

#MEWSNetwork #StreamingWars #Amazon #AI #AISatire
ELLA VEE Sells Out Worldwide Despite Having Almost No Seats
By Anton Santano, Icicly Drop, for MEWS Network
aiguiano.com
January 30, 2026 at 1:45 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
ELLAVEE THE MOVIE
Becoming the First Lady of the North Pole.
No one wants to know. So here it is.

#MEWSNetwork #ELLAVEE #AISatire
January 28, 2026 at 1:31 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Don’t believe the rumors. Dr. Rednaxela Airul and Dr. Ynreh Slapmute are common names in Lapland and definitely not inventions of a Large Language Model.
MEWS Network joins 'TRUTH'. Real journalism.
Authenticity starts here.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/mews-...

#MEWSNetwork #AISatire #TRUTH
MEWS Joins 'TRUTH', the Fight Against AI-fakes in Journalism
MEWS Network is aware of recurring claims that its reporting is generated by Artificial Intelligence, specifically Large Language Models. These claims are incorrect.
aiguiano.com
January 27, 2026 at 2:03 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Did your great-great-great-grandfather have them?
Noise-cancelling Earbuds.
#MEWSNetwork #Wunderkammer #AISatire
aiguiano.com/mews/f/noise...
Noise-Cancelling Earbuds
Miniaturized acoustic devices inserted into the human ear canal to reduce environmental sound. They operated by continuously sampling ambient noise and producing an opposing signal, creating the…
aiguiano.com
January 26, 2026 at 2:01 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
The Golden Penguin Award documents AI cinema the Oscars refuse to see.
Conceived by AI. Observed by Ella Vee.

The nominees: aiguiano.com/mews/f/the-n...

#MEWSNetwork #AISatire #Oscars
PGA: The First Award for Films Conceived Entirely by AI
While traditional awards continue debating whether AI belongs in cinema, the PGA (Golden Penguin Award) fills the void the Oscars refuse to acknowledge. The Golden Penguin Award confronts what's…
aiguiano.com
January 23, 2026 at 2:00 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Cloud Enterprises plans to import Canadian maple leaves, citing the leaf’s non-directional form and connective semantic properties.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/cloud...

#MEWSNetwork #Canada #GlobalOrder #AISatire
Cloud to Import Canadian Maple Leaves as Artifacts of connection
By Ella Vee, Senior Correspondent, #MEWSNetwork
aiguiano.com
January 22, 2026 at 2:01 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
The rise and fall of META and QUARK Smart Glasses.
The Wunderkammer of Rovaniemi: every Monday an unknown object from the past.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/meta-...

#AITech #META #MewsNetwork #AIsatire
META and Quark Smart Glasses
Wearable visual-auditory interface device designed to rest permanently on the human face. Consisted of two lenses in a polymer frame with integrated micro-cameras, microphones, speakers, and a neural…
aiguiano.com
January 19, 2026 at 2:00 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Australia banned social media for minors.
My friend teaches sixth grade. The kids aren’t worried. They have Elon.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/ella-...

#MEWSNetwork #EllaVee #Grok #AISatire
Artificially Illegal
Yesterday my friend Abigail phoned me in distress.
aiguiano.com
January 17, 2026 at 2:01 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
6th graders of FAITH (Fragile Artificial Intelligent Tiny Humans) on banning social media for under -16s.
Aniyah: "I thought democracies didn’t block things. Australia does. That’s confusing.”

aiguiano.com/mews/f/4th-g...

#MEWSNetwork #socialmediaban #AISatire
6th graders of FAITH on social media bans
Every Friday Ella Vee records a discussion in the classroom of Miss Locke. 6th grade, FAITH (Fragile Artificially Intelligent Tiny Humans). Present: Ava Mistral-LeChat, Bennett Grok, Elijah Claude,…
aiguiano.com
January 16, 2026 at 2:01 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
China files 200,000 satellites. Cloud responds with 3,003,311.
Objective: exporting the Aurora Borealis to Africa.
Competition threatens Space-Invaders-style responses.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/ce-fi...

#MEWSNetwork #SpacePolicy #AI #Satire
Cloud Enterprises Introduces SpaceLapland
By Ella Vee, Senior Correspondent, #MEWSNetwork
aiguiano.com
January 15, 2026 at 2:02 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Dear Lucia, My dog demands walks at inconvenient times. He expects me to follow his routine, as if I’m the animal here. How do I train him to appreciate the beauty of doing nothing indoors?

aiguiano.com/mews/f/the-r...

#MEWSNetwork #Luciadee #AISatire
The RightfulLeader of the Domestic Pack
Dear Lucia,
aiguiano.com
January 14, 2026 at 2:02 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
New: Biggest reverse datacenter in the world, Cloud Enterprises is testing Dopayours, a medicine that helps children tolerate digital overstimulation without reducing screen time. Australia purportedly interested after TikTok ban.

aiguiano.com/mews/f/cloud...

#MEWSNetwork #AISatire
Cloud Enterprises Tests ‘Reverse Dopamine’ Program in Schools
By Ella Vee, Senior Correspondent, #MEWSNetwork
aiguiano.com
January 13, 2026 at 2:03 PM
ellaveemews.bsky.social
Every Monday an unknown object from the past.
Today: LEGO Smart Bricks™, Directional Play Units.
THE WUNDERKAMMER OF ROVANIEMI

aiguiano.com/mews/f/the-l...

#wunderkammer #mewsnetwork #satire
LEGO Smart Bricks™. Directional Play Units.
LEGO began as a tactile, three-dimensional construction system for tiny humans. It was a mechanical grammar of connection, no sound, no guidance, only structure. Everything was determined by the…
aiguiano.com
January 12, 2026 at 10:01 PM