Pokemon scalpers eating shit is the funniest thing, man
September 20, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Pokemon scalpers eating shit is the funniest thing, man
Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy
theonion.com/man-wai...
theonion.com/man-wai...
February 18, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Man Waiting Until Parents Die Before Doing A Single Thing That Makes Him Happy
theonion.com/man-wai...
theonion.com/man-wai...
boy howdy am i tired of the daily "man who sells Thing says Thing very important" tech story
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg has told analysts that people without smart glasses may one day be at a "significant cognitive disadvantage" compared to those who do use the tech: https://cnn.it/47L2Y5a
September 15, 2025 at 2:18 PM
boy howdy am i tired of the daily "man who sells Thing says Thing very important" tech story
Man, it's a good thing Ed Sheeran decided to steer clear of politics, that worked out well for him
September 16, 2026 at 6:15 PM
Man, it's a good thing Ed Sheeran decided to steer clear of politics, that worked out well for him
Man, I wonder why there aren't more headlines about this imaginary thing that does not happen?
RFK Jr: "We care about every child who dies from measles. They get headlines. We should care about the children who are dying or suffering or being injured by vaccine injuries."
September 17, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Man, I wonder why there aren't more headlines about this imaginary thing that does not happen?
Tony The Tiger Remains Closest Thing Man Has To Father Figure https://theonion.com/tony-the-tiger-remains-closest-thing-man-has-to-father-1851590282/
July 10, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Tony The Tiger Remains Closest Thing Man Has To Father Figure https://theonion.com/tony-the-tiger-remains-closest-thing-man-has-to-father-1851590282/
This is the type of thing a man who has never had any *real* friends says.
March 22, 2025 at 1:54 AM
This is the type of thing a man who has never had any *real* friends says.
The straightest thing you can do as a man is to think a lot about two other guys' balls.
June 6, 2025 at 12:02 AM
The straightest thing you can do as a man is to think a lot about two other guys' balls.
hahahahaha ok man sure thing
Patel to Bongino: "It's not a creation or manufacturing of information. It exists. It's just the willingness that you & I and this building's new leadership took to say, 'We're going to look at the facts that exist. We're not gonna to try to make up facts that don't to serve a political narrative'"
February 18, 2026 at 4:32 PM
hahahahaha ok man sure thing
Man Groans After Only Thing Left On Bezos Wedding Registry New Rocket Booster
theonion.com/man-gro...
theonion.com/man-gro...
January 21, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Man Groans After Only Thing Left On Bezos Wedding Registry New Rocket Booster
theonion.com/man-gro...
theonion.com/man-gro...
Correct Response: "What an incredibly inappropriate thing to say, you creepy, crazy old man."
October 14, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Correct Response: "What an incredibly inappropriate thing to say, you creepy, crazy old man."
As the economic news keeps coming out over the coming weeks keep one thing in mind: this is the fault of one man and didn’t need to happen.
April 6, 2025 at 11:36 PM
As the economic news keeps coming out over the coming weeks keep one thing in mind: this is the fault of one man and didn’t need to happen.
Man remember the Signal thing?
April 9, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Man remember the Signal thing?
Man oh man Stephen Miller better hope he's wrong with his "only two genders" bullshit because one thing he is not, is a man
February 20, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Man oh man Stephen Miller better hope he's wrong with his "only two genders" bullshit because one thing he is not, is a man
Man those $7500/ electric vehicle tax breaks would have been a nice thing to keep around.
March 27, 2026 at 11:13 AM
Man those $7500/ electric vehicle tax breaks would have been a nice thing to keep around.
My man looks like the last thing a drifter sees in the desert
July 17, 2026 at 9:01 PM
My man looks like the last thing a drifter sees in the desert
HAPPY THINGSGIVING, Y’ALL!
November 26, 2025 at 5:39 PM
HAPPY THINGSGIVING, Y’ALL!
