#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
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lisaborders.bsky.social
The spiders and I are thrilled to be among this year’s hidden gems! Thanks to @crmonks.bsky.social, @clhubes.bsky.social and @mcsweeneys.net. #McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
December 31, 2024 at 8:57 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
The Boy Who Cried Wolf and Was Elected President Two Goddamn Times
BY JENNIE EGERDIE
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the...
The Boy Who Cried Wolf and Was Elected President Two Goddamn Times
Once, there was a deceitful, misogynistic shepherd boy. He spent his days spewing racist lies, showing off the large flock his father had handed to...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
Girl Ransom Note
BY MEGAN AMRAM
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/gir...
Girl Ransom Note
Oh my god, hi!! I am SO sorry to do this, but we have your wife Jenna, and if you don’t pay us $20 million in unmarked bills by tomorrow night, we ...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
We Are the Spiders of This House
BY LISA BORDERS
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/we-...
We Are the Spiders of This House
WE ARE THE SPIDERS OF THIS HOUSE SHOUTING OUR MANIFESTO AS BEST WE CAN WITHOUT VOCAL CORDS BUT ONLY YOUR CATS CAN HEAR US THEY ARE LAZY, OVERFED WE...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
We’re Having a Get-Together. Could You Bring Your Massive, Poorly Trained Dog?
BY MIKE LANGLEY
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wer...
We’re Having a Get-Together. Could You Bring Your Massive, Poorly Trained Dog?
Hey man, we’re having a little get-together in the park this weekend. I would love it if you could make it. We’ll have snacks, and you can bring a ...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
I Wish I Went Before Mary Shelley in This Storytelling Contest
BY MIKE DRUCKER
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-w...
I Wish I Went Before Mary Shelley in This Storytelling Contest
“‘We will each write a ghost story,’ said Lord Byron; and his proposition was acceded to. There were four of us.” – Mary Shelley, in the introducti...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
Rules for Our Cranberry Bog
BY MADELINE GOETZ AND BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/rul...
Rules for Our Cranberry Bog
Tired of apple picking and morally opposed to pumpkin patches? Welcome to our cranberry bog. Founded in 1616 and then founded again in 2017, Giving...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
BY MARCO KAYE
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/as-...
As President, I Will Champion Gen X Rights
Wassup, fellow slackers, poseurs, losers, stoners, and the dorks smart enough to make loot before the dot-com crash. I said yo, wassup! Not clappin...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
Injured by Attorney Horace McMorris? Call Attorney Horace McMorris
BY J. TAYLOR LEE
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/inj...
Injured by Attorney Horace McMorris? Call Attorney Horace McMorris
I’m attorney Horace McMorris. Have you been injured due to the dangerous interactive billboards of me, Attorney Horace McMorris? Then call me, Hora...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
A Good Man Is Hard to Find, Charlie Brown
BY ELLIE POWELL
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-g...
A Good Man Is Hard to Find, Charlie Brown
CHARLIE BROWN: Hey, Lucy. What’re you doing? LUCY: I’m going to kill my mother, Charlie Brown. CHARLIE BROWN: Why would you do something like that?...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
Boeing Announces New Safety Policy: “Fuck It, We Ball”
BY JESSICA M. GOLDSTEIN
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/boe...
Boeing Announces New Safety Policy: “Fuck It, We Ball”
Well, we guess the cat’s out of the bag—or as we say around these parts, the door is off the plane: we have been sending aircraft into the sky that...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
If You’re a Wealthy, Divorced, and Fascism-Curious Dad, You Need My Twelve-Step Video Program about Herbs
BY RYAN CRINNIGAN
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/if-...
If You’re a Wealthy, Divorced, and Fascism-Curious Dad, You Need My Twelve-Step Video Program about Herbs
Attention: If you’re a single man over thirty making at least $150,000 a year but you’re ashamed of your pestos and bouquets garnis, stop what you’...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
Introducing Our New Whole-Body Deodorant Because You Are Gross and Disgusting
BY JOANNA BORNS
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/int...
Introducing Our New Whole-Body Deodorant Because You Are Gross and Disgusting
Life can be pretty smelly sometimes. And that’s totally normal, so don’t worry. Our company is here to save you with products that will cover up yo...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
Excerpts from the Show Bible for The Fribbles, a 1980s Children’s Cartoon
BY DAN MCCOY
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/exc...
Excerpts from the Show Bible for The Fribbles, a 1980s Children’s Cartoon
The Fribbles are canonically “knee high to a grasshopper,” but the grasshopper in question is very large and has abnormally long shins. Please keep...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
They Don’t Tell You This in the Hot Dog Handbook
BY JOEL KASSACK
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the...
They Don’t Tell You This in the Hot Dog Handbook
They don’t tell you this in the Hot Dog Handbook, but hot dogs are hungry for mystery… There’s something weird leaking from gas station ceilings. W...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM
crmonks.bsky.social
HBO’s Industry If the Industry Was Handcrafting Traditional Scandinavian Troll Dolls
BY CHARLIE DEKTAR
#McSweeneysHiddenGems2024
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hbo...
HBO’s Industry If the Industry Was Handcrafting Traditional Scandinavian Troll Dolls
A customer walks out of the troll store without buying a troll. ERIC: What the fuck did you say to him? HARPER: He wanted a Firefighter Troll. I sa...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 31, 2024 at 8:39 PM