Mowgli the Melancholy rises—not from forgiveness, but to wage a dignified campaign of dawn-time protest. From 5am face pats to strategic poo placement, this week’s journal reveals his latest acts of justice, betrayal, and skewered-chicken temptation. Forgiveness remains… pending.

Shall I compare thee to a tuna buffet? Thou art more tasty and more intemperate Rough winds do shake the curtain pole of day,..