#Mystified
If you're mystified by this, you're not an expert.
“Mystifying” Ha! Trump loves Putin and is sad Ukraine has cards. F him.
June 8, 2026 at 9:36 PM
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
The still-employed man performs no identifiable function, Americans noted.
open.substack.com
October 13, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Mystified dad 😂
July 28, 2026 at 12:47 AM
still mystified by this man’s proportions
Does he have eligibility?
March 23, 2026 at 1:19 AM
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
The still-employed man performs no identifiable function, Americans noted.
open.substack.com
October 13, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Centrist Americans being mystified by Kier Starmer's unpopularity despite him doing everything they're always telling Democrats to do is so funny. Just the biggest dumbasses around.
June 22, 2026 at 11:29 AM
I miss having a president who isn't mystified by plumbing.
January 27, 2025 at 11:45 AM
i am mystified by the influence of noah smith, among the most ignorant and incurious people i have ever seen on the internet. just a total dummy.
And in case you thought Noah might have reevaluated his Musk boosterism in light of the catastrophe of the last month, this dropped *today*
www.noahpinion.blog/p/only-fools...
Only fools think Elon is incompetent
Underestimate a man like this at your peril.
www.noahpinion.blog
February 23, 2025 at 4:17 PM
makers of one of the most popular bluray players in the world mystified by the concept of physical media
ign.com IGN @ign.com · 2d
PlayStation is reportedly sending a lengthy survey to game developers with a question about how they sell physical games after their decision to stop producing physical game discs prompted intense backlash. https://t.co/2ExJ94Mk2V
September 27, 2026 at 8:11 PM
of all the things the administration is doing, i am a little mystified by this effort to completely destroy the science, technology and medical research sector in the united states
Exclusive: Weeks after President Donald Trump’s administration ordered NIH to pull $250 million in biomedical research grants to Columbia University, the agency is freezing all remaining grant money owed to the university until further notice. scim.ag/4if5Rg1
NIH freezes all research grants to Columbia University
Amid negotiations with Trump, the university could risk losing nearly $700 million
scim.ag
April 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I have my own harsh criticisms of how the media has covered this era, but I'm mystified at this perspective.
.@velshi.com “Head in the sand”? Please.

Part of the problem is limp news coverage that turns every Dem wobble into a five-alarm fire while treating GOP extremism as background noise. That’s what depresses our base.
Jamie Harrison’s head-in-the-sand posts are actually part of the problem. Enthusiasm for the Democratic Party is depressed.
September 1, 2025 at 2:04 AM
I’m GenX and I’m mystified. And disgusted.
January 13, 2026 at 12:09 AM
All Hegseth can see is tactical success, so he’s mystified why people are reporting on strategic failure.
Hegseth wants a “patriotic press.”
March 13, 2026 at 1:48 PM
Watched Mulholland Drive for the first time, 10/10 I am mystified.
January 27, 2025 at 5:23 AM
time to start making 'ending mystified' videos
October 21, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I remember being mystified when a classmate in middle school called me a papist. I was mystified in part because he pronounced it PAHP-PIST instead of PAPE-IST and I thought it was a reference to a gynecological thing and I felt embarrassed not following the insult.
I grew up very sheltered as a Catholic and was really surprised as an adolescent to learn there were these people who thought we were a huge threat to America and Jesus and I was like COOOOOLLLL
NEW: The Pentagon today invited more than 3,500 employees to attend a Good Friday service at its in-house chapel.

Except it’s only for Protestants, not Catholics. www.huffpost.com/entry/news-l...
April 3, 2026 at 8:10 PM
I was skimming and initially misread "beer" as "bear" and was mystified but intrigued.
September 25, 2026 at 8:35 PM
Europeans are mystified, disappointed and frightened by a country they thought they knew
www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archiv...
Trump and Vance Shattered Europe’s Illusions About America
This is how the bad guys act.
www.theatlantic.com
March 5, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I am mystified by the sudden apostrophe
July 31, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Hirono to Patel: "I'm still pretty mystified as to why beastiality was taken off the list. You have been so drunk that briefings have been rescheduled so you could sleep it off."
September 15, 2026 at 3:57 PM
I was and continue to be totally mystified by my own actions
May 1, 2026 at 10:12 PM
I’m still mystified that we don’t get a stunts Oscar #HATM
March 3, 2025 at 12:26 AM
there has never been a build like this before ... the designers are mystified
The shirt is a size or two too small
September 29, 2026 at 2:12 PM
For political journalists and pundits mystified by the Starmer debacle:
Political scientists like @tabouchadi.bsky.social who research the normalisation of the far right through democratic parties have been predicting this for a long time. It’s exactly what the research bears out.
June 22, 2026 at 12:19 PM
Rep. Jim Himes: "Having the Defense Department kill alleged drug runners in the Caribbean is illegal...These folks are committing murder — murder defined as killing without a legal basis. I am mystified over why the rest of the chain of command is quite comfortable with it."
September 21, 2025 at 5:52 PM