Congress better hurry up and settle the shutdown before everyone figures out they’re nonessential personnel.
October 13, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Congress better hurry up and settle the shutdown before everyone figures out they’re nonessential personnel.
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
The still-employed man performs no identifiable function, Americans noted.
open.substack.com
October 13, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
From CBC News: Canadian detained by ICE for 6 months says he's an 'indefinite' prisoner, has no idea when he'll get out.
58 Canadians are being held by ICE.
Avoid all nonessential travel to the United States.
58 Canadians are being held by ICE.
Avoid all nonessential travel to the United States.
April 27, 2026 at 10:21 AM
From CBC News: Canadian detained by ICE for 6 months says he's an 'indefinite' prisoner, has no idea when he'll get out.
58 Canadians are being held by ICE.
Avoid all nonessential travel to the United States.
58 Canadians are being held by ICE.
Avoid all nonessential travel to the United States.
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
The still-employed man performs no identifiable function, Americans noted.
open.substack.com
October 13, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
There should be no nonessential travel to the United States. Tourism dollars are better spent here in Canada or in a friendly country where the rule of law is respected.
April 16, 2025 at 2:00 PM
There should be no nonessential travel to the United States. Tourism dollars are better spent here in Canada or in a friendly country where the rule of law is respected.
Writers who advocate using genAI for covers and "nonessential" tasks are fuckin' traitors and not to be listened to.
December 28, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Writers who advocate using genAI for covers and "nonessential" tasks are fuckin' traitors and not to be listened to.
BREAKING: US will order nonessential diplomats and families to leave Saudi Arabia as Iran escalates retaliation, officials say
March 9, 2026 at 12:05 AM
BREAKING: US will order nonessential diplomats and families to leave Saudi Arabia as Iran escalates retaliation, officials say
Stopped nonessential spending Jan 20 and won't start again until... I feel safe in my own country
February 28, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Stopped nonessential spending Jan 20 and won't start again until... I feel safe in my own country
1. Amid heightened tensions in the region, the United States is:
- Ordering the evacuation of nonessential personnel from the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad
- Evacuating nonessential personnel and family members from Kuwait and Bahrain
- Ordering the evacuation of nonessential personnel from the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad
- Evacuating nonessential personnel and family members from Kuwait and Bahrain
June 11, 2025 at 7:11 PM
1. Amid heightened tensions in the region, the United States is:
- Ordering the evacuation of nonessential personnel from the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad
- Evacuating nonessential personnel and family members from Kuwait and Bahrain
- Ordering the evacuation of nonessential personnel from the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad
- Evacuating nonessential personnel and family members from Kuwait and Bahrain
The irony is that this is writing he intends to stimulate thought — the very medium and skills he deems nonessential.
September 30, 2026 at 3:52 AM
The irony is that this is writing he intends to stimulate thought — the very medium and skills he deems nonessential.
Ukraine is giving up territory for nonessential security guaranties. In case you wondered what this means.
August 18, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Ukraine is giving up territory for nonessential security guaranties. In case you wondered what this means.
Canada should issue an advisory to avoid all nonessential travel to the United States.
My travel warnings to Canadians have been picked up in @newsweek.com.
The arbitrary kidnapping of travellers by ICE is a breach of law. The US is acting like a gangster state putting international travellers at serious risk.
www.newsweek.com/charlie-angu...
The arbitrary kidnapping of travellers by ICE is a breach of law. The US is acting like a gangster state putting international travellers at serious risk.
www.newsweek.com/charlie-angu...
Lawmaker warns US could deport Canadians to "concentration camp"
Canadians are at risk of being "deported to some El Salvadoran concentration camp" under Trump's policies, a Canadian MP said.
www.newsweek.com
March 20, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Canada should issue an advisory to avoid all nonessential travel to the United States.
Nonessential oils
April 28, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Nonessential oils
5. The Department of Justice has also pulled “nonessential funding” from the Maine Department of Corrections due to reports that a transgender woman is currently being housed in a women’s prison.
www.advocate.com/politics/mai...
www.advocate.com/politics/mai...
Justice Dept. pulls 'nonessential' funds from Maine prison system over trans inmate housed with women
Attorney General Pam Bondi made the announcement on Fox & Friends.
www.advocate.com
April 9, 2025 at 10:56 PM
5. The Department of Justice has also pulled “nonessential funding” from the Maine Department of Corrections due to reports that a transgender woman is currently being housed in a women’s prison.
www.advocate.com/politics/mai...
www.advocate.com/politics/mai...
"once you have created a culture in which all expertise is denigrated and removed from the equation and considered nonessential, you create the circumstances in which AI can flourish.”
Bad AI supplanting human expertise is an issue that transcends any one field, but man—not many people on earth whose knowledge and dedication deserves respect like LIBRARIANS.
The long-running ideological war on libraries, education, and government workers is not separate from AI boosterism. It is the same ideological war on human knowledge and expertise. In some cases AI is being used to directly supercharge this effort:
www.404media.co/ai-is-superc...
www.404media.co/ai-is-superc...
November 6, 2025 at 9:32 PM
"once you have created a culture in which all expertise is denigrated and removed from the equation and considered nonessential, you create the circumstances in which AI can flourish.”
WASHINGTON (AP) - Retail sales rose 0.5% in April from March as the rising price of gas leaves less money for nonessential items.
[inflation-adjusted: down 0.1%]
[inflation-adjusted: down 0.1%]
May 14, 2026 at 1:07 PM
WASHINGTON (AP) - Retail sales rose 0.5% in April from March as the rising price of gas leaves less money for nonessential items.
[inflation-adjusted: down 0.1%]
[inflation-adjusted: down 0.1%]
The still-employed man serves no identifiable function, Americans noted.
Americans Mystified Why Nonessential Federal Employee Still Has Job
The still-employed man performs no identifiable function, Americans noted.
www.borowitzreport.com
October 13, 2025 at 12:09 PM
The still-employed man serves no identifiable function, Americans noted.
The “stay at home” orders were actually “you can’t go to nonessential businesses except for takeout” orders. Nobody enforced the rules about not being outdoors in 99% of the country.
Every one of these covid-revisionism pieces consists of people lying to your face about events that you remember
www.persuasion.community/p/frances-le...
www.persuasion.community/p/frances-le...
June 7, 2025 at 5:33 PM
The “stay at home” orders were actually “you can’t go to nonessential businesses except for takeout” orders. Nobody enforced the rules about not being outdoors in 99% of the country.
The Republican shutdown means that nonessential federal employees like soldiers and TSA agents aren't being paid anymore, but rest assured that the truly vital work of this administration -- building a Dancing with the Stars ballroom for the dementia-addled president -- still goes on.
Scoop: Trump has started demolishing the White House's East Wing facade to build his ballroom. The president had claimed construction of the $250 million building wouldn’t ‘interfere’ with the existing White House structure. /W @ddiamond.bsky.social wapo.st/4hqBNiU
White House begins demolishing East Wing facade to build Trump’s ballroom
The president had claimed construction of the $250 million ballroom wouldn’t ‘interfere’ with the existing White House structure.
wapo.st
October 20, 2025 at 6:55 PM
The Republican shutdown means that nonessential federal employees like soldiers and TSA agents aren't being paid anymore, but rest assured that the truly vital work of this administration -- building a Dancing with the Stars ballroom for the dementia-addled president -- still goes on.
A government shutdown is the forced cessation of most nonessential operations and services due to lack of funding.
These are operations that are not deemed necessary to protect national security, public health, public safety, or property.
These are operations that are not deemed necessary to protect national security, public health, public safety, or property.
September 30, 2025 at 9:19 PM
A government shutdown is the forced cessation of most nonessential operations and services due to lack of funding.
These are operations that are not deemed necessary to protect national security, public health, public safety, or property.
These are operations that are not deemed necessary to protect national security, public health, public safety, or property.
The most successful con pulled by capitalists has been framing art as “nonessential” as though they wouldn’t pass away from boredom without any books, TV, movies or artwork in their grubby little lives
May 6, 2025 at 9:21 PM
The most successful con pulled by capitalists has been framing art as “nonessential” as though they wouldn’t pass away from boredom without any books, TV, movies or artwork in their grubby little lives
BREAKING: The State Department is preparing to order the departure of all nonessential personnel from the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad due to the potential for regional unrest, two U.S. officials said.
US prepares to order departure of all nonessential staff from Baghdad embassy, officials say
The State Department is preparing to order the departure of all nonessential personnel from the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad due to the potential for regional unrest.
bit.ly
June 11, 2025 at 5:59 PM
BREAKING: The State Department is preparing to order the departure of all nonessential personnel from the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad due to the potential for regional unrest, two U.S. officials said.
every bit of nonessential FF14 lore is like "The people of Hrae'sveal'hirr always loved to eat one day blinding stew. They would gather around the communal pot and go blind together. Due to the taxation of trade routes they now eat regular stew"
For centuries, hedgehogs have been considered a delicacy in the Far East, their succulent flesh consumed by both prince and pauper. An influx of Western traders wanting them as pets has all but put an end to this grisly tradition
August 27, 2026 at 11:22 PM
every bit of nonessential FF14 lore is like "The people of Hrae'sveal'hirr always loved to eat one day blinding stew. They would gather around the communal pot and go blind together. Due to the taxation of trade routes they now eat regular stew"