my offer to america: we bring woke back
April 7, 2025 at 4:10 PM
my offer to america: we bring woke back
Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips
theonion.com/clarence-tho...
theonion.com/clarence-tho...
December 19, 2024 at 7:38 PM
Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips
theonion.com/clarence-tho...
theonion.com/clarence-tho...
Narrator: They are not considering the offer.
May 28, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Narrator: They are not considering the offer.
tem offer healing potion
December 1, 2025 at 3:35 AM
tem offer healing potion
i got a job offer :)
August 13, 2025 at 4:32 PM
i got a job offer :)
In a functional democracy, he would offer his resignation tonight.
March 31, 2026 at 2:23 AM
In a functional democracy, he would offer his resignation tonight.
*offer doesn’t apply to Capitol Police
January 15, 2025 at 9:54 PM
*offer doesn’t apply to Capitol Police
Sen. Tim Kaine tells federal employees to ignore Trump’s offer to quit with pay for months. “Don’t be fooled. He’s tricked hundreds of people with that offer. If you accept that offer and resign he’ll stiff you just like he stiffed the contractors. He doesn’t have any authority to do this.”
January 29, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Sen. Tim Kaine tells federal employees to ignore Trump’s offer to quit with pay for months. “Don’t be fooled. He’s tricked hundreds of people with that offer. If you accept that offer and resign he’ll stiff you just like he stiffed the contractors. He doesn’t have any authority to do this.”
When they go low, we offer incentives.
March 20, 2025 at 9:54 AM
When they go low, we offer incentives.
It was a crime the first time he made the offer, and it's still a crime tonight.
September 27, 2026 at 12:42 AM
It was a crime the first time he made the offer, and it's still a crime tonight.
they are making me an offer :)
I have a second interview for a job today and I would just like to thank god, baby Jesus and glycolic acid for how good my skin looks
September 8, 2025 at 7:22 PM
they are making me an offer :)
Penzey's Spices have an offer on this weekend.
May 31, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Penzey's Spices have an offer on this weekend.
You don’t know your role yet maybe, but we are all finding out just what we have to offer.
In Minneapolis, one man knew immediately what he could offer and said “Bring me your clothing”.
In Minneapolis, one man knew immediately what he could offer and said “Bring me your clothing”.
January 23, 2026 at 2:57 AM
You don’t know your role yet maybe, but we are all finding out just what we have to offer.
In Minneapolis, one man knew immediately what he could offer and said “Bring me your clothing”.
In Minneapolis, one man knew immediately what he could offer and said “Bring me your clothing”.
I have nothing to offer but baloney, salami, and tomatoes
November 11, 2025 at 1:12 PM
I have nothing to offer but baloney, salami, and tomatoes
October 21, 2024 at 10:51 AM
I offer my cryptologies
May 27, 2025 at 12:33 AM
I offer my cryptologies
They are not considering the offer; they are laughing at it
May 28, 2025 at 11:00 AM
They are not considering the offer; they are laughing at it
Three dozen countries now offer greater freedom of movement for their citizens than the United States.
US Passport Stuck At No. 10 In Power Rankings—As 36 Countries Offer More Freedom Of Movement
Three dozen countries now offer greater freedom of movement for their citizens than the United States.
www.forbes.com
July 21, 2026 at 2:55 PM
Three dozen countries now offer greater freedom of movement for their citizens than the United States.
Can’t believe Twitter keeps crashing despite Elon hiring the best 19-year-old interns that racism has to offer
March 10, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Can’t believe Twitter keeps crashing despite Elon hiring the best 19-year-old interns that racism has to offer
I want to know what happened between the first offer Warner turned down and now, cuz this feels like someone made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.
NEW YORK (AP) — Warner deems Paramount's takeover bid superior to Netflix; Netflix has 4 business days to counter.
February 27, 2026 at 2:32 AM
I want to know what happened between the first offer Warner turned down and now, cuz this feels like someone made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.
Grandchildren Politely Decline David Cronenberg’s Bedtime Story Offer https://theonion.com/grandchildren-politely-decline-david-cronenbergs-bedtime-story-offer/
December 13, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Grandchildren Politely Decline David Cronenberg’s Bedtime Story Offer https://theonion.com/grandchildren-politely-decline-david-cronenbergs-bedtime-story-offer/
Please consider this offer
December 6, 2024 at 12:27 PM
Please consider this offer
today i offer you the "dengoo"
September 24, 2024 at 1:03 PM
today i offer you the "dengoo"