OnlyFons is now on OnlyFans. 🐻🎤
Not PG. Not X-rated. Just comedy.
The kind you can explain to your partner, your mum, and — should the situation arise — your corrections officer:
"I'm just there for the Comedy!" 😇
👉 onlyfans.com/only_fons_comedy
#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #Bear #Queer #Comedy
Not PG. Not X-rated. Just comedy.
The kind you can explain to your partner, your mum, and — should the situation arise — your corrections officer:
"I'm just there for the Comedy!" 😇
👉 onlyfans.com/only_fons_comedy
#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #Bear #Queer #Comedy
March 26, 2026 at 8:24 PM
OnlyFons is now on OnlyFans. 🐻🎤
Not PG. Not X-rated. Just comedy.
The kind you can explain to your partner, your mum, and — should the situation arise — your corrections officer:
"I'm just there for the Comedy!" 😇
👉 onlyfans.com/only_fons_comedy
#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #Bear #Queer #Comedy
Not PG. Not X-rated. Just comedy.
The kind you can explain to your partner, your mum, and — should the situation arise — your corrections officer:
"I'm just there for the Comedy!" 😇
👉 onlyfans.com/only_fons_comedy
#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #Bear #Queer #Comedy
30 de enero y pensándome el onlyfons 🫠🫠
January 30, 2025 at 3:13 PM
30 de enero y pensándome el onlyfons 🫠🫠
Michigan friends:
My comedy week starts Wednesday with a FREE clean comedy show at Michigan Moonshine Distillery & BBQ.
7:30 PM. Come say hi!
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy
#StandUp #Comedy #OnlyFons
My comedy week starts Wednesday with a FREE clean comedy show at Michigan Moonshine Distillery & BBQ.
7:30 PM. Come say hi!
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy
#StandUp #Comedy #OnlyFons
August 2, 2026 at 7:11 PM
Michigan friends:
My comedy week starts Wednesday with a FREE clean comedy show at Michigan Moonshine Distillery & BBQ.
7:30 PM. Come say hi!
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy
#StandUp #Comedy #OnlyFons
My comedy week starts Wednesday with a FREE clean comedy show at Michigan Moonshine Distillery & BBQ.
7:30 PM. Come say hi!
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy
#StandUp #Comedy #OnlyFons
This Thursday 7:30 PM — I’m lighting up the stage and the lounge at Bold Cigar Bar in Grand Rapids 💨🔥
#OnlyFons #CigarBarComedy #GRcomedy #LiveStandup #BearOnStage #LitSet #ThursdayVibes #StandUp #Comdey
#OnlyFons #CigarBarComedy #GRcomedy #LiveStandup #BearOnStage #LitSet #ThursdayVibes #StandUp #Comdey
July 15, 2025 at 10:17 AM
This Thursday 7:30 PM — I’m lighting up the stage and the lounge at Bold Cigar Bar in Grand Rapids 💨🔥
#OnlyFons #CigarBarComedy #GRcomedy #LiveStandup #BearOnStage #LitSet #ThursdayVibes #StandUp #Comdey
#OnlyFons #CigarBarComedy #GRcomedy #LiveStandup #BearOnStage #LitSet #ThursdayVibes #StandUp #Comdey
Highland Games in Shepherd, Michigan: where I got soaked multiple times — first from stormy rain, then from stormy sweat. 🌧️🔥 I threw heavy stuff, cheered louder stuff, and met the best people. Honestly, the medals were optional — the fun wasn’t.
#HighlandGames #OnlyFons #BearsOfBluesky
#HighlandGames #OnlyFons #BearsOfBluesky
July 30, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Highland Games in Shepherd, Michigan: where I got soaked multiple times — first from stormy rain, then from stormy sweat. 🌧️🔥 I threw heavy stuff, cheered louder stuff, and met the best people. Honestly, the medals were optional — the fun wasn’t.
#HighlandGames #OnlyFons #BearsOfBluesky
#HighlandGames #OnlyFons #BearsOfBluesky
Turns out Midwestern English is 50% small talk… and 50% corn. 🌽
Somehow, I managed to make all of it sound like a middle aged definition. 😅
#StandUpComedy #MidwestHumor #OnlyFons #ComedyClip #Cornfed
Somehow, I managed to make all of it sound like a middle aged definition. 😅
#StandUpComedy #MidwestHumor #OnlyFons #ComedyClip #Cornfed
August 18, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Turns out Midwestern English is 50% small talk… and 50% corn. 🌽
Somehow, I managed to make all of it sound like a middle aged definition. 😅
#StandUpComedy #MidwestHumor #OnlyFons #ComedyClip #Cornfed
Somehow, I managed to make all of it sound like a middle aged definition. 😅
#StandUpComedy #MidwestHumor #OnlyFons #ComedyClip #Cornfed
Que digo yo si abro un onlyfans con selfies mias normales sería un onlyfons y no mentiría a nadie no?
February 23, 2026 at 12:33 PM
Que digo yo si abro un onlyfans con selfies mias normales sería un onlyfons y no mentiría a nadie no?
qué reencarnación tan de mierda tienes que tener para que te parezca bien llamarte en internet 'onlyfons' ?!?!?!?!?!
September 16, 2025 at 1:43 PM
qué reencarnación tan de mierda tienes que tener para que te parezca bien llamarte en internet 'onlyfons' ?!?!?!?!?!
Did my first outdoor set at Bearrison Street Fair in San Francisco.
Bears, sunshine, and a protest called No Kings.
So I told them what we Germans did with ours. 🇩🇪
Call it comedy with historical context.
#StandUp #Bearrison #Comedy #OnlyFons #GayComedian #NoKings
Bears, sunshine, and a protest called No Kings.
So I told them what we Germans did with ours. 🇩🇪
Call it comedy with historical context.
#StandUp #Bearrison #Comedy #OnlyFons #GayComedian #NoKings
October 20, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Did my first outdoor set at Bearrison Street Fair in San Francisco.
Bears, sunshine, and a protest called No Kings.
So I told them what we Germans did with ours. 🇩🇪
Call it comedy with historical context.
#StandUp #Bearrison #Comedy #OnlyFons #GayComedian #NoKings
Bears, sunshine, and a protest called No Kings.
So I told them what we Germans did with ours. 🇩🇪
Call it comedy with historical context.
#StandUp #Bearrison #Comedy #OnlyFons #GayComedian #NoKings
📣SHAMELESS SELFPROMO 🔊:
🎤 5 shows, 3 cities, 1 epic week of my Comedy in West Michigan! 🌅 Don’t miss out: Cassopolis Comedy Festival, Newaygo Pride, Cereal City Chuckle Chamber premiere show - all details at alfonsmueller.com!
#WestMichigan #StandUp #Comedy #ComedyFestival #OnlyFons
🎤 5 shows, 3 cities, 1 epic week of my Comedy in West Michigan! 🌅 Don’t miss out: Cassopolis Comedy Festival, Newaygo Pride, Cereal City Chuckle Chamber premiere show - all details at alfonsmueller.com!
#WestMichigan #StandUp #Comedy #ComedyFestival #OnlyFons
May 26, 2026 at 4:18 AM
📣SHAMELESS SELFPROMO 🔊:
🎤 5 shows, 3 cities, 1 epic week of my Comedy in West Michigan! 🌅 Don’t miss out: Cassopolis Comedy Festival, Newaygo Pride, Cereal City Chuckle Chamber premiere show - all details at alfonsmueller.com!
#WestMichigan #StandUp #Comedy #ComedyFestival #OnlyFons
🎤 5 shows, 3 cities, 1 epic week of my Comedy in West Michigan! 🌅 Don’t miss out: Cassopolis Comedy Festival, Newaygo Pride, Cereal City Chuckle Chamber premiere show - all details at alfonsmueller.com!
#WestMichigan #StandUp #Comedy #ComedyFestival #OnlyFons
OnlyFons?? Mare meua...
January 22, 2026 at 9:27 PM
OnlyFons?? Mare meua...
As the news cycle tries to bury the Epstein Files under another “surprise” geopolitical crisis (hello, Venezuela), I offer a different distraction:
A throwback to my ranking of future presidents by PWB: President With Benefits.
#StandUp #comedy #satire #germanhumor #michiganlife #onlyfons
A throwback to my ranking of future presidents by PWB: President With Benefits.
#StandUp #comedy #satire #germanhumor #michiganlife #onlyfons
November 30, 2025 at 4:08 PM
As the news cycle tries to bury the Epstein Files under another “surprise” geopolitical crisis (hello, Venezuela), I offer a different distraction:
A throwback to my ranking of future presidents by PWB: President With Benefits.
#StandUp #comedy #satire #germanhumor #michiganlife #onlyfons
A throwback to my ranking of future presidents by PWB: President With Benefits.
#StandUp #comedy #satire #germanhumor #michiganlife #onlyfons
Let me mansplain 🗣️ how Gen Z men dance like they’re auditioning for the Super Bowl LIX halftime show… minus the rhythm. 😂🏈 #SuperBowlLIX #GenZDanceMoves #MansplainEnergy #ComedyVibes #OnlyFons #StandUp #GenX #ActOut
February 12, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Let me mansplain 🗣️ how Gen Z men dance like they’re auditioning for the Super Bowl LIX halftime show… minus the rhythm. 😂🏈 #SuperBowlLIX #GenZDanceMoves #MansplainEnergy #ComedyVibes #OnlyFons #StandUp #GenX #ActOut
Got fresh pics from the fantastic Patrick Hanrahan 📸
Yes, even this mediocre plus-size German comedian 🇩🇪 can shine under the right lightbulb 💡
Now taking bookings! Comedy hustle never sleeps 😅
#NewHeadshots #OnlyFons #StandUpGrind #QueerComedy #FunnyFons #PlusSizeFunny #ComedyLife #GermanBear
Yes, even this mediocre plus-size German comedian 🇩🇪 can shine under the right lightbulb 💡
Now taking bookings! Comedy hustle never sleeps 😅
#NewHeadshots #OnlyFons #StandUpGrind #QueerComedy #FunnyFons #PlusSizeFunny #ComedyLife #GermanBear
May 5, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Got fresh pics from the fantastic Patrick Hanrahan 📸
Yes, even this mediocre plus-size German comedian 🇩🇪 can shine under the right lightbulb 💡
Now taking bookings! Comedy hustle never sleeps 😅
#NewHeadshots #OnlyFons #StandUpGrind #QueerComedy #FunnyFons #PlusSizeFunny #ComedyLife #GermanBear
Yes, even this mediocre plus-size German comedian 🇩🇪 can shine under the right lightbulb 💡
Now taking bookings! Comedy hustle never sleeps 😅
#NewHeadshots #OnlyFons #StandUpGrind #QueerComedy #FunnyFons #PlusSizeFunny #ComedyLife #GermanBear
Blast from the Past ➡️ Blast into Tonight’s Show 💥
Flo’s Pizzeria, Belmont by North Kent Comedy Productions! 🍕
Dropping stupid jokes beside actual talent —
and even PE teachers can’t bully this. 😎
🍕 Shared pizza knots + unsolicited German accent.
#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #BlueskyComedy #Michigan
Flo’s Pizzeria, Belmont by North Kent Comedy Productions! 🍕
Dropping stupid jokes beside actual talent —
and even PE teachers can’t bully this. 😎
🍕 Shared pizza knots + unsolicited German accent.
#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #BlueskyComedy #Michigan
December 11, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Blast from the Past ➡️ Blast into Tonight’s Show 💥
Flo’s Pizzeria, Belmont by North Kent Comedy Productions! 🍕
Dropping stupid jokes beside actual talent —
and even PE teachers can’t bully this. 😎
🍕 Shared pizza knots + unsolicited German accent.
#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #BlueskyComedy #Michigan
Flo’s Pizzeria, Belmont by North Kent Comedy Productions! 🍕
Dropping stupid jokes beside actual talent —
and even PE teachers can’t bully this. 😎
🍕 Shared pizza knots + unsolicited German accent.
#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #BlueskyComedy #Michigan
Realized on stage I’d smash an Ewok. Wookiee growl included. 🐻🌈
See me June 12 @ Comedy Outlet GR for my Pride + birthday show!
#OnlyFons #GayBear #StandUpComedy #Comedy
See me June 12 @ Comedy Outlet GR for my Pride + birthday show!
#OnlyFons #GayBear #StandUpComedy #Comedy
June 8, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Realized on stage I’d smash an Ewok. Wookiee growl included. 🐻🌈
See me June 12 @ Comedy Outlet GR for my Pride + birthday show!
#OnlyFons #GayBear #StandUpComedy #Comedy
See me June 12 @ Comedy Outlet GR for my Pride + birthday show!
#OnlyFons #GayBear #StandUpComedy #Comedy
Tonight, 9/12 – I’m bringing German chaos to the stage at Brewery Outré, 8PM. 🎤🍻 #StandUpComedy #LiveComedy #OnlyFons
September 12, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Tonight, 9/12 – I’m bringing German chaos to the stage at Brewery Outré, 8PM. 🎤🍻 #StandUpComedy #LiveComedy #OnlyFons
Canadian smoke, German anxiety and braided Bavarian family trees—OnlyFons had a wonderful time at Balancing the Humors in Kalamazoo. 🇩🇪🎤
The show raised over $150 for Doctors Without Borders! Which joke wins the carousel? 👇😂
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy
The show raised over $150 for Doctors Without Borders! Which joke wins the carousel? 👇😂
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy
July 19, 2026 at 5:21 AM
Canadian smoke, German anxiety and braided Bavarian family trees—OnlyFons had a wonderful time at Balancing the Humors in Kalamazoo. 🇩🇪🎤
The show raised over $150 for Doctors Without Borders! Which joke wins the carousel? 👇😂
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy
The show raised over $150 for Doctors Without Borders! Which joke wins the carousel? 👇😂
#StandUpComedy #MichiganComedy
The most self-censored clip I’ve ever posted — because apparently history, politics, and gay reactions don’t mix unless there’s a saxophone battle involved 🎷😏
The world’s gone wild!
#Comedy #StandUpComedy #Satire #DarkHumor #TDS #OnlyFons #CancelCulture #WTF
The world’s gone wild!
#Comedy #StandUpComedy #Satire #DarkHumor #TDS #OnlyFons #CancelCulture #WTF
November 24, 2025 at 2:46 AM
The most self-censored clip I’ve ever posted — because apparently history, politics, and gay reactions don’t mix unless there’s a saxophone battle involved 🎷😏
The world’s gone wild!
#Comedy #StandUpComedy #Satire #DarkHumor #TDS #OnlyFons #CancelCulture #WTF
The world’s gone wild!
#Comedy #StandUpComedy #Satire #DarkHumor #TDS #OnlyFons #CancelCulture #WTF
Was für ein Abend gestern bei Comedy Bubbles ✨
Tolles Publikum, richtig gute Energie –
und ein neuer Joke für alle, die die Geschichte kennen.
Mehr sag ich nicht. 👀🎤
#StandUpComedy #ComedyBubbles #NewJoke #LiveComedy #OnlyFons #Stuttgart #BadenWuerttemberg
Tolles Publikum, richtig gute Energie –
und ein neuer Joke für alle, die die Geschichte kennen.
Mehr sag ich nicht. 👀🎤
#StandUpComedy #ComedyBubbles #NewJoke #LiveComedy #OnlyFons #Stuttgart #BadenWuerttemberg
January 27, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Was für ein Abend gestern bei Comedy Bubbles ✨
Tolles Publikum, richtig gute Energie –
und ein neuer Joke für alle, die die Geschichte kennen.
Mehr sag ich nicht. 👀🎤
#StandUpComedy #ComedyBubbles #NewJoke #LiveComedy #OnlyFons #Stuttgart #BadenWuerttemberg
Tolles Publikum, richtig gute Energie –
und ein neuer Joke für alle, die die Geschichte kennen.
Mehr sag ich nicht. 👀🎤
#StandUpComedy #ComedyBubbles #NewJoke #LiveComedy #OnlyFons #Stuttgart #BadenWuerttemberg
Ja, I’m German 🇩🇪 and apparently make people tense with just this realization.
That was last night at Red Room, Chicago.
This Saturday? Big show at Lake Time Comedy in Bridgman, MI! 🍻🎤
#GermanComedian #WokeAndFunny #OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #LakeTimeLaughs
That was last night at Red Room, Chicago.
This Saturday? Big show at Lake Time Comedy in Bridgman, MI! 🍻🎤
#GermanComedian #WokeAndFunny #OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #LakeTimeLaughs
June 19, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Ja, I’m German 🇩🇪 and apparently make people tense with just this realization.
That was last night at Red Room, Chicago.
This Saturday? Big show at Lake Time Comedy in Bridgman, MI! 🍻🎤
#GermanComedian #WokeAndFunny #OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #LakeTimeLaughs
That was last night at Red Room, Chicago.
This Saturday? Big show at Lake Time Comedy in Bridgman, MI! 🍻🎤
#GermanComedian #WokeAndFunny #OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #LakeTimeLaughs
Quick economic outlook for the week: Stock market gonna crash again like an inverted Roman salute ✋📉 But hey, at least you can scream a Bavarian “bless your heart” while your 401(k) catches fire 🔥🇺🇸.
#ThankYouTrump #StandUp #OnlyFons #ComedyWithAnAccent #BavarianFinanceGuru
#ThankYouTrump #StandUp #OnlyFons #ComedyWithAnAccent #BavarianFinanceGuru
April 7, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Quick economic outlook for the week: Stock market gonna crash again like an inverted Roman salute ✋📉 But hey, at least you can scream a Bavarian “bless your heart” while your 401(k) catches fire 🔥🇺🇸.
#ThankYouTrump #StandUp #OnlyFons #ComedyWithAnAccent #BavarianFinanceGuru
#ThankYouTrump #StandUp #OnlyFons #ComedyWithAnAccent #BavarianFinanceGuru
🧸 Kalamazoo — tonight gets thick, hairy & highly questionable.
Testing new Bear Comedy material for #Bearrison Street Fair next week.
📍 Brewery Outrè Comedy
🕗 8 PM
🍺 Same gay, new testing ground.
#StandUpComedy #BearCulture #OnlyFons #BlueskyBears #ChubbyChubbyChaser
Testing new Bear Comedy material for #Bearrison Street Fair next week.
📍 Brewery Outrè Comedy
🕗 8 PM
🍺 Same gay, new testing ground.
#StandUpComedy #BearCulture #OnlyFons #BlueskyBears #ChubbyChubbyChaser
October 10, 2025 at 1:04 PM
🧸 Kalamazoo — tonight gets thick, hairy & highly questionable.
Testing new Bear Comedy material for #Bearrison Street Fair next week.
📍 Brewery Outrè Comedy
🕗 8 PM
🍺 Same gay, new testing ground.
#StandUpComedy #BearCulture #OnlyFons #BlueskyBears #ChubbyChubbyChaser
Testing new Bear Comedy material for #Bearrison Street Fair next week.
📍 Brewery Outrè Comedy
🕗 8 PM
🍺 Same gay, new testing ground.
#StandUpComedy #BearCulture #OnlyFons #BlueskyBears #ChubbyChubbyChaser
Swimming in a beer glass in lederhosen. Don’t AI-sk. It’s awkwardly sexy + weirdly thirst-trappy (especially for bears).
🎤 Catch me live: Fri, July 25 @ Brewery Outré, Kalamazoo. No AI, just LOLs.
#OnlyFons #Instabears #ChubbyChubbyChaser #Standup
🎤 Catch me live: Fri, July 25 @ Brewery Outré, Kalamazoo. No AI, just LOLs.
#OnlyFons #Instabears #ChubbyChubbyChaser #Standup
July 24, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Swimming in a beer glass in lederhosen. Don’t AI-sk. It’s awkwardly sexy + weirdly thirst-trappy (especially for bears).
🎤 Catch me live: Fri, July 25 @ Brewery Outré, Kalamazoo. No AI, just LOLs.
#OnlyFons #Instabears #ChubbyChubbyChaser #Standup
🎤 Catch me live: Fri, July 25 @ Brewery Outré, Kalamazoo. No AI, just LOLs.
#OnlyFons #Instabears #ChubbyChubbyChaser #Standup