Dog owners: oh I prepped for months to adopt!
Cat owners: I found him in the trash
Cat owners: I found him in the trash
May 7, 2026 at 1:31 AM
Dog owners: oh I prepped for months to adopt!
Cat owners: I found him in the trash
Cat owners: I found him in the trash
The owners of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory self-regulated.
Mike Johnson on OpenAI and Anthropic: "They can self-police. They can self-regulate."
September 16, 2026 at 12:51 PM
The owners of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory self-regulated.
More dog owners NEED to see this..
April 25, 2026 at 7:00 PM
More dog owners NEED to see this..
cybertruck owners when the accelerator pedal gets stuck
November 19, 2024 at 10:21 PM
cybertruck owners when the accelerator pedal gets stuck
bunny pet owners be like
December 12, 2025 at 5:12 PM
bunny pet owners be like
we do not publicly shame cybertruck owners enough
August 26, 2025 at 7:50 PM
we do not publicly shame cybertruck owners enough
More dog owners need to see this..... 😂 😂
July 27, 2026 at 6:59 PM
More dog owners need to see this..... 😂 😂
we must keep discriminating against cybertruck owners
March 8, 2025 at 4:27 AM
we must keep discriminating against cybertruck owners
If there's a draft, draft the gun owners first.
April 14, 2026 at 7:22 PM
If there's a draft, draft the gun owners first.
Bad breeds NO . Bad owners YES . 😍
April 3, 2026 at 4:45 PM
Bad breeds NO . Bad owners YES . 😍
Kudos to the Tesla owners who get it!!
December 11, 2024 at 9:45 PM
Kudos to the Tesla owners who get it!!
NFL owners basically support sexual predators and genocide.
September 17, 2026 at 12:35 PM
NFL owners basically support sexual predators and genocide.
It's said that pets resemble their owners...
June 24, 2026 at 11:46 PM
It's said that pets resemble their owners...
Owners torching their papers.
SAYING BYE TO BEZOS: The Washington Post has lost star reporter Josh Dawsey, who will exit Jeff Bezos' embattled newspaper for The Wall Street Journal. WaPo brass tried to retain Dawsey, I'm told, but he had already made up his mind. All the details in @status.news: link.status.news/4gFYU7T
January 6, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Owners torching their papers.
Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.
December 19, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.
NFL owners are PANICKING.
January 31, 2026 at 7:28 AM
NFL owners are PANICKING.
Green Giant Offering Program Where Gun Owners Can Trade In Firearms For Green Beans https://theonion.com/green-giant-offering-program-where-gun-owners-can-trade-1838097221/
December 6, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Green Giant Offering Program Where Gun Owners Can Trade In Firearms For Green Beans https://theonion.com/green-giant-offering-program-where-gun-owners-can-trade-1838097221/
Nation's Dog Owners Demand To Know Who's A Good Boy
theonion.com/nations...
theonion.com/nations...
January 14, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Nation's Dog Owners Demand To Know Who's A Good Boy
theonion.com/nations...
theonion.com/nations...
More dog owners must see this...
August 26, 2026 at 12:10 AM
More dog owners must see this...
Doorbells should be made illegal in commercials. Dog owners know what I'm talking about.
June 21, 2026 at 3:03 PM
Doorbells should be made illegal in commercials. Dog owners know what I'm talking about.
James Woods’
house burnt down and he says he doesn’t have a home owners insurance policy.
Sending thoughts and prayers, James.
house burnt down and he says he doesn’t have a home owners insurance policy.
Sending thoughts and prayers, James.
January 8, 2025 at 9:33 PM
James Woods’
house burnt down and he says he doesn’t have a home owners insurance policy.
Sending thoughts and prayers, James.
house burnt down and he says he doesn’t have a home owners insurance policy.
Sending thoughts and prayers, James.
What Robert Kraft did to Macklemore looks a whole lot like what NFL owners did to Colin Kaepernick.
September 15, 2026 at 2:17 AM
What Robert Kraft did to Macklemore looks a whole lot like what NFL owners did to Colin Kaepernick.