# of paragraphs for news orgs to mention there's no discernable need to deploy troops to Portland, Oregon
The Guardian: 1st paragraph
BBC: 4th paragraph
AP: 5th paragraph
Time: 6th paragraph
Politico: 8th paragraph
NPR: 9th paragraph
CNN: 10th paragraph
NBC: 12th paragraph
Fox News: never mentions
The Guardian: 1st paragraph
BBC: 4th paragraph
AP: 5th paragraph
Time: 6th paragraph
Politico: 8th paragraph
NPR: 9th paragraph
CNN: 10th paragraph
NBC: 12th paragraph
Fox News: never mentions
September 27, 2025 at 7:24 PM
# of paragraphs for news orgs to mention there's no discernable need to deploy troops to Portland, Oregon
The Guardian: 1st paragraph
BBC: 4th paragraph
AP: 5th paragraph
Time: 6th paragraph
Politico: 8th paragraph
NPR: 9th paragraph
CNN: 10th paragraph
NBC: 12th paragraph
Fox News: never mentions
The Guardian: 1st paragraph
BBC: 4th paragraph
AP: 5th paragraph
Time: 6th paragraph
Politico: 8th paragraph
NPR: 9th paragraph
CNN: 10th paragraph
NBC: 12th paragraph
Fox News: never mentions
Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.
March 26, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.
March 16, 2026 at 10:11 AM
the day today tier paragraph
January 8, 2026 at 4:45 PM
the day today tier paragraph
Helluva opening paragraph that.
April 22, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Helluva opening paragraph that.
Can’t stop reading this paragraph over and over.
open.substack.com/pub/newmeans...
open.substack.com/pub/newmeans...
January 27, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Can’t stop reading this paragraph over and over.
open.substack.com/pub/newmeans...
open.substack.com/pub/newmeans...
That last paragraph is how you know Nova Scotians mean business
February 1, 2025 at 11:20 PM
That last paragraph is how you know Nova Scotians mean business
This paragraph landed pretty hard.
December 30, 2024 at 2:49 PM
This paragraph landed pretty hard.
This paragraph is simply magnificent.
June 13, 2025 at 9:18 PM
This paragraph is simply magnificent.
Ice shouldn’t be killing people period paragraph
This is not controversial
This is not controversial
January 8, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Ice shouldn’t be killing people period paragraph
This is not controversial
This is not controversial
October 31, 2025 at 4:52 AM
This paragraph contains a very good point
December 16, 2024 at 2:38 AM
This paragraph contains a very good point
idk i kind of feel like the response in the first paragraph makes it seem like the second paragraph is impossible
September 7, 2026 at 1:03 AM
idk i kind of feel like the response in the first paragraph makes it seem like the second paragraph is impossible
Squished in the middle of this story was this heartbreaking paragraph. Unconscionable.
July 27, 2026 at 8:08 PM
Squished in the middle of this story was this heartbreaking paragraph. Unconscionable.
Read only the first and last sentence of this paragraph
The whole graf is hilarious
The film (that I have not seen) “falls short on every dimension”
The film (that I have not seen) “falls short on every dimension”
September 17, 2026 at 8:10 PM
Read only the first and last sentence of this paragraph
Quite an opening paragraph.
March 6, 2026 at 9:27 AM
Quite an opening paragraph.
this entire paragraph is Stephen Pinker openly saying, "I think race science is real and correct."
amazingly fucked up that the NYT is uncritically publishing the claim, “Race has some biological reality.”
that is, definitionally, racism. textbook.
that is, definitionally, racism. textbook.
May 24, 2025 at 12:35 PM
this entire paragraph is Stephen Pinker openly saying, "I think race science is real and correct."
The first paragraph of Judge Breyer‘s opinion granting an injunction in the California National Guard case is a banger.
December 10, 2025 at 3:30 PM
The first paragraph of Judge Breyer‘s opinion granting an injunction in the California National Guard case is a banger.
This reads like the opening paragraph of a novel so bleakly dystopian you'd put it down after five pages
February 12, 2025 at 7:40 AM
This reads like the opening paragraph of a novel so bleakly dystopian you'd put it down after five pages
journalists: "graf"
journalist understanders: "paragraph"
my brain: "giraffe"
journalist understanders: "paragraph"
my brain: "giraffe"
March 7, 2025 at 5:39 PM
journalists: "graf"
journalist understanders: "paragraph"
my brain: "giraffe"
journalist understanders: "paragraph"
my brain: "giraffe"
this really took an unexpected turn after about the second paragraph
April 8, 2025 at 10:50 PM
this really took an unexpected turn after about the second paragraph
NEARLY EVERY WORD IN THIS PARAGRAPH IS WRONG!!!
May 30, 2025 at 4:55 PM
NEARLY EVERY WORD IN THIS PARAGRAPH IS WRONG!!!
The whole sordid tale in one paragraph
January 27, 2025 at 4:28 PM
The whole sordid tale in one paragraph
ayn rand writing a monologue
August 3, 2025 at 1:19 AM
ayn rand writing a monologue
The only thing I can say about this paragraph is read it. Sit with it. Read it again. @michaelharriot.bsky.social
August 22, 2025 at 4:20 AM
The only thing I can say about this paragraph is read it. Sit with it. Read it again. @michaelharriot.bsky.social