#SatiricalScience #ParticleProblems #BigDataLittleParticles #AcademicAbsurdity #MoveItMoveIt By: TheJestPress.com **Physicists Announce New, Even More Complicated Way to Study Tiny Things Moving Around** In a major breakthrough that promises to revolutionize the field of spending-grant-money, researchers at the Institute of Single-Particle Obsession (ISPO) have revealed the results of their daring new study: *A Quantitative Evaluation of Methods to Analyze Motion Changes in Single-Particle Experiments.* The team's findings, totaling 167 pages and over 6,000 acronyms, have been described as "groundbreaking," "technically complex," and, by one sleepy reviewer, "the perfect cure for insomnia."