Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison theonion.com/trump-v...
May 5, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison theonion.com/trump-v...
Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison https://theonion.com/trump-vows-to-reopen-joann-fabrics-as-prison/
December 28, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison https://theonion.com/trump-vows-to-reopen-joann-fabrics-as-prison/
Guys he wants to reopen Alcatraz
May 5, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Guys he wants to reopen Alcatraz
Blowout.
Maybe the GOP should reopen govt now
Maybe the GOP should reopen govt now
November 5, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Blowout.
Maybe the GOP should reopen govt now
Maybe the GOP should reopen govt now
reopen the bodybuilding dot com forums
I’ve never seen a tweet that more effectively communicates how we got to this current situation
April 12, 2025 at 1:24 AM
reopen the bodybuilding dot com forums
May they never reopen.
February 14, 2026 at 5:02 AM
May they never reopen.
"Does the UK want to reopen the bitter Brexit debate?" asks Vicki Young.
There is a way of reviewing our relationship with Europe that does not reopen "the bitter Brexit debate", which I think is underpriced. We could all be honest and agree that Brexit was a shit idea.
There is a way of reviewing our relationship with Europe that does not reopen "the bitter Brexit debate", which I think is underpriced. We could all be honest and agree that Brexit was a shit idea.
October 8, 2026 at 12:08 PM
"Does the UK want to reopen the bitter Brexit debate?" asks Vicki Young.
There is a way of reviewing our relationship with Europe that does not reopen "the bitter Brexit debate", which I think is underpriced. We could all be honest and agree that Brexit was a shit idea.
There is a way of reviewing our relationship with Europe that does not reopen "the bitter Brexit debate", which I think is underpriced. We could all be honest and agree that Brexit was a shit idea.
Or…Trump could just reopen TSA! Democrats have put legislation on the floor a half dozen times to reopen TSA and Republicans block it every time.
President Trump says he will deploy ICE agents to US airports on Monday if an agreement isn't reached to fund the Department of Homeland Security amid a partial government shutdown. https://cnn.it/3PrMhEA
March 23, 2026 at 10:21 PM
Or…Trump could just reopen TSA! Democrats have put legislation on the floor a half dozen times to reopen TSA and Republicans block it every time.
We’ve gone from “I don’t care if they reopen the Strait” to “we’ll destroy your civilization if you don’t reopen the strait” to “well if THEY don’t reopen the strait then WE are going to blockade it ourselves.”
What an extraordinarily embarrassing moment for this country.
What an extraordinarily embarrassing moment for this country.
We have entered the “you can’t kill me if I commit suicide” phase of American Decline
April 12, 2026 at 2:10 PM
We’ve gone from “I don’t care if they reopen the Strait” to “we’ll destroy your civilization if you don’t reopen the strait” to “well if THEY don’t reopen the strait then WE are going to blockade it ourselves.”
What an extraordinarily embarrassing moment for this country.
What an extraordinarily embarrassing moment for this country.
Do it, Trump. Reopen Action Park.
May 5, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Do it, Trump. Reopen Action Park.
May they never reopen.
February 19, 2026 at 4:03 PM
May they never reopen.
Heads up, gonna reopen pokey and pet commissions this monday ✌️
July 30, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Heads up, gonna reopen pokey and pet commissions this monday ✌️
BREAKING: The United States of America will temporarily reopen as a Spirit Halloween
February 23, 2025 at 3:16 AM
BREAKING: The United States of America will temporarily reopen as a Spirit Halloween
If we have to pay to rent movies again on a subscription service, we should just reopen Blockbuster.
February 25, 2026 at 2:14 PM
If we have to pay to rent movies again on a subscription service, we should just reopen Blockbuster.
HEGSETH: We have controlled the straits this entire time
BRENNAN: You're negotiating with them to reopen it
BRENNAN: You're negotiating with them to reopen it
June 14, 2026 at 2:42 PM
HEGSETH: We have controlled the straits this entire time
BRENNAN: You're negotiating with them to reopen it
BRENNAN: You're negotiating with them to reopen it
Platner: No one cares that you pretend to be remorseful as you sell out to lobbyists. Symbolic opposition does not reopen hospitals. Weak condemnations do not bring back Roe V Wade. Maine deserves better than Susan Collins.
September 1, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Platner: No one cares that you pretend to be remorseful as you sell out to lobbyists. Symbolic opposition does not reopen hospitals. Weak condemnations do not bring back Roe V Wade. Maine deserves better than Susan Collins.
So did Alcatraz reopen as a prison yet or what?
June 17, 2025 at 9:48 PM
So did Alcatraz reopen as a prison yet or what?
BREAKING
35 former federal judges move to reopen Trump v. IRS in an effort to kill the $1.776B slush fund.
Doc buff.ly/1065CA7
35 former federal judges move to reopen Trump v. IRS in an effort to kill the $1.776B slush fund.
Doc buff.ly/1065CA7
May 27, 2026 at 8:02 PM
BREAKING
35 former federal judges move to reopen Trump v. IRS in an effort to kill the $1.776B slush fund.
Doc buff.ly/1065CA7
35 former federal judges move to reopen Trump v. IRS in an effort to kill the $1.776B slush fund.
Doc buff.ly/1065CA7
I close this app and reopen it IMMEDIATELY almost 20 times a day. So no I’m not okay
February 6, 2025 at 1:42 PM
I close this app and reopen it IMMEDIATELY almost 20 times a day. So no I’m not okay
After Trump makes California reopen Alcatraz, he’s going to make Michigan reopen the Packard plant.
May 6, 2025 at 4:00 AM
After Trump makes California reopen Alcatraz, he’s going to make Michigan reopen the Packard plant.
On budget and ahead of schedule.
Our MnDOT crews are the best in the business 💪
www.startribune.com/stone-arch-b...
Our MnDOT crews are the best in the business 💪
www.startribune.com/stone-arch-b...
Stone Arch Bridge in Minneapolis to reopen to the public Aug. 9
The bridge, which has closed in halved sections since spring 2024, will reopen with a ribbon-cutting ceremony featuring food trucks and other entertainment.
www.startribune.com
July 12, 2025 at 7:10 PM
On budget and ahead of schedule.
Our MnDOT crews are the best in the business 💪
www.startribune.com/stone-arch-b...
Our MnDOT crews are the best in the business 💪
www.startribune.com/stone-arch-b...
comms reopen tomorrow! stay tuned 🦈
September 4, 2025 at 6:47 PM
comms reopen tomorrow! stay tuned 🦈
The Kennedy Center will reopen in two years. Hopefully, so will America.
February 2, 2026 at 1:14 AM
The Kennedy Center will reopen in two years. Hopefully, so will America.
Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison
theonion.com/trump-v...
theonion.com/trump-v...
Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison
WASHINGTON—Vowing to restore and revitalize the facilities as a symbol of law, order, and justice, President Donald Trump ordered the U.S. government Monday to reopen Joann Fabrics and Crafts stores as federal prisons. “I am directing the Bureau of Prisons to use all 850 Joann locations to house America’s most ruthless and violent Offenders,” Trump wrote […]
theonion.com
May 10, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison
theonion.com/trump-v...
theonion.com/trump-v...