#SadRobots
He discovered that humans consume frozen dairy products to cool themselves.
His internal temperature remains unchanged.
His dignity, however, is melting rapidly.

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November 13, 2026 at 2:03 PM
He discovered that humans had invented a machine for moving things from one place to another.
The results are inconclusive, but extremely satisfying.

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November 12, 2026 at 2:03 PM
He was designed to survive extreme weather conditions.
The cat was not.
He considers this an unacceptable engineering oversight.

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November 11, 2026 at 2:04 PM
He downloaded the sum total of human knowledge in 0.8 seconds.
Current conclusion: the species is operating without documentation.

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November 8, 2026 at 2:01 PM
He fixed the engine three days ago.
Now he's taking it apart to find out why it's still working.

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October 22, 2026 at 1:04 PM
He is waterproof, doesn't drink, and has no muscles to relax.
Spa day remains nonnegotiable.

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October 20, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He calculated every possible outcome.
Then went all in just to see what would happen.

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October 19, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He learned that humans had something called a midlife crisis.
He decided to have one.

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October 16, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He drove through the mud on purpose.
Now he gets to wash it off.

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October 15, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He mapped every star he could see.
Then he started wondering who else was looking back.

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October 14, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He painted the cat exactly as he sees it.
The cat has declined to comment.

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October 13, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He spent four hours decorating the cake.
The cat magnet has scheduled its destruction for 3:00 AM.

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October 12, 2026 at 1:02 PM
He calculated the perfect trajectory.
The ball went straight down the middle anyway.

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October 11, 2026 at 1:01 PM
He spent an hour watching the butterflies.
One finally decided to watch him back.

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October 10, 2026 at 1:01 PM
He started by painting what he remembered.
Eventually, he painted somewhere he'd never been.

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October 9, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He says the humans got robots completely wrong.

He keeps reading anyway.

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October 8, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He beat the human high score yesterday.

Today he's trying to beat himself.

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October 7, 2026 at 1:02 PM
He fixed it three days ago.

He's still finding things to improve.

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October 6, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He can't taste any of it.
The dog has volunteered for quality control.

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October 5, 2026 at 1:02 PM
He learned all the chords.

Now he's trying to figure out why they mattered.

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October 4, 2026 at 1:02 PM
He used to keep their plants alive.

These ones are his.

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October 3, 2026 at 1:02 PM
He finished the books humans said were important.
Now he's reading the ones they said were fun.

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October 2, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He doesn't understand why the cowboy never asks for directions.
The dog doesn't care. He's seen this one before.

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October 1, 2026 at 1:02 PM
He hasn't caught anything all day.
The dog says that's not really the point.

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September 30, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He doesn't know who Christmas is for anymore.
He put up the tree anyway.

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September 29, 2026 at 1:02 PM