This is the kind of thing that, if true, leads to life sentences for treason
April 16, 2025 at 6:41 PM
This is the kind of thing that, if true, leads to life sentences for treason
7 lies in 2 sentences. Only in Trumpworld.
June 1, 2026 at 4:05 AM
7 lies in 2 sentences. Only in Trumpworld.
September 25, 2026 at 9:58 PM
Still the best two sentences on climate action.
December 29, 2024 at 5:42 PM
Still the best two sentences on climate action.
I don't like reading sentences anymore
the current director of national intelligence is a guy who two years ago received a trophy declaring he “Fucks Only The Young” at an (oddly dildo focused) event he organized dedicated to the conspiracy that Bed Bath and Beyond never actually went bankrupt
June 2, 2026 at 5:52 PM
I don't like reading sentences anymore
Fucked him so good he couldn’t form sentences @thediegovoxxx.bsky.social
September 9, 2026 at 10:37 PM
Fucked him so good he couldn’t form sentences @thediegovoxxx.bsky.social
This alone should be a decade-defining political scandal resulting in prison sentences.
Investment accounts owned by President Trump engaged in more than 300 previously undisclosed stock purchases on April 8, 2025, one day before his surprise announcement that he would pause a number of his “Liberation Day” tariffs, his financial disclosure report says.
Trump discloses 327 unreported stock trades made a day before his first tariff pause
Their disclosure, more than 14 months after they occurred, is the latest revelation to fuel calls for greater scrutiny of the president’s financial assets.
nbcnews.to
July 6, 2026 at 10:24 AM
This alone should be a decade-defining political scandal resulting in prison sentences.
Every conversation I’ve had with my MAGA relatives for the last ten years distilled into three sentences.
September 24, 2026 at 2:40 AM
Every conversation I’ve had with my MAGA relatives for the last ten years distilled into three sentences.
Make everyone feel old in 2 sentences challenge completed
July 26, 2024 at 3:13 AM
Make everyone feel old in 2 sentences challenge completed
There are differences between pardoning and commuting of sentences.
January 24, 2025 at 5:15 PM
There are differences between pardoning and commuting of sentences.
Literally every sentence contradicts the previous sentences.
September 26, 2026 at 8:06 PM
Literally every sentence contradicts the previous sentences.
Absolutely perfect two sentences.
Gov Jared Polis told a Colorado Sun event that his decision to give clemency to Tina Peters "will be remembered fondly."
He was later interrupted by protesters carrying an enormous banner reading EAT SHIT POLIS coloradosun.com/2026/05/19/j...
He was later interrupted by protesters carrying an enormous banner reading EAT SHIT POLIS coloradosun.com/2026/05/19/j...
Jared Polis says his Tina Peters decision
Gov. Jared Polis made the remarks at The Colorado Sun’s annual legislative recap event, only to be drowned out by a small group of protesters
coloradosun.com
May 20, 2026 at 5:07 AM
Absolutely perfect two sentences.
Hyperrealistic ‘GTA VI’ Feature Makes Players Serve Out Prison Sentences In Real Time https://theonion.com/hyperrealistic-gta-vi-feature-makes-players-serve-out-prison-sentences-in-real-time/
September 10, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Hyperrealistic ‘GTA VI’ Feature Makes Players Serve Out Prison Sentences In Real Time https://theonion.com/hyperrealistic-gta-vi-feature-makes-players-serve-out-prison-sentences-in-real-time/
JUST IN: Brazil’s top court sentences former President Jair Bolsonaro to 27 years and 3 months in prison over his attempted coup
September 11, 2025 at 10:16 PM
JUST IN: Brazil’s top court sentences former President Jair Bolsonaro to 27 years and 3 months in prison over his attempted coup
Just an absolutely insane pair of sentences.
Trump: "I'm trying to have people learn about wind real fast and I think I've done a good job, but not good enough, because some countries are still trying and they're destroying themselves. I hope they get back to fossil fuel."
August 26, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Just an absolutely insane pair of sentences.
IOWA: “It is a complete pleasure to hear somebody speak in complete sentences.”
*Pete Buttigieg gets a rousing Ovation at the #VoteVetsTownHall* 👏🏽
*Pete Buttigieg gets a rousing Ovation at the #VoteVetsTownHall* 👏🏽
May 15, 2025 at 2:54 AM
IOWA: “It is a complete pleasure to hear somebody speak in complete sentences.”
*Pete Buttigieg gets a rousing Ovation at the #VoteVetsTownHall* 👏🏽
*Pete Buttigieg gets a rousing Ovation at the #VoteVetsTownHall* 👏🏽
They need prison sentences.
These men don’t need cabinet jobs they need therapy
FBI Director Kash Patel has forced senior officials to reveal, under polygraph tests, whether they have ever said anything bad about him, The New York Times reported on Thursday.
July 11, 2025 at 3:35 AM
They need prison sentences.
Biden Commutes 1,500 Prison Sentences
theonion.com/biden-commut...
theonion.com/biden-commut...
December 15, 2024 at 9:39 PM
Biden Commutes 1,500 Prison Sentences
theonion.com/biden-commut...
theonion.com/biden-commut...
this is one of the funniest sentences I’ve ever read
Not many political campaigns are as flush with cash as are you DSA candidates, so they can't afford all of the lawyers' fees people like you can afford.
June 25, 2026 at 11:11 PM
this is one of the funniest sentences I’ve ever read
"its ___bait" "its ___slop" lets actually try to articulate our thoughts and feelings with proper words and structured sentences
September 23, 2026 at 3:22 AM
"its ___bait" "its ___slop" lets actually try to articulate our thoughts and feelings with proper words and structured sentences
2025 creating sentences we never could have imagined existing
As David Brooks has said, we’re approaching civil disobedience and national strikes phase of defending our nation.
April 18, 2025 at 2:49 AM
2025 creating sentences we never could have imagined existing
joe biden has said sentences far more coherent than whatever this is
February 20, 2025 at 10:50 PM
joe biden has said sentences far more coherent than whatever this is
* … serve their sentences
April 12, 2025 at 5:25 PM
* … serve their sentences
Don’t forget, Chauvin’s state crimes can’t be pardoned - and that’s the longer of the two sentences. Also don’t forget the people who support that murderer.
May 15, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Don’t forget, Chauvin’s state crimes can’t be pardoned - and that’s the longer of the two sentences. Also don’t forget the people who support that murderer.