#TextsFromBunsen
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It’s Spooky Season!

What does that mean for:

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Beaker Details Beaker! You're making everyone scared of the dark! BUNSEN LET ME TELL MY SPOOKY STORIES Bernoulli is hiding under the covers HE COULDNT HANDLE: "THE TALE OF WHEN THE BACON RAN OUT" Beaker you swore you never tell that story again BRIX DIDNT LIKE THE STORY ABOUT THE MAN WITH A VACUUM CLEANER FOR A HAND Hey you were told that one was also banned LEAVE ME BE IM JUST GOING TO START: "THERE WAS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR" That's not so bad IT WAS THE AMAZON DRIVER AHHHH! < Messages Bernoulli Details Are you going trick or treating with us Yeah!! I can't wait for the trick part Oh that's just something you say when you ring the doorbell What? I've been practicing balancing Brix on my nose Wow really? You'll get a TON of treats if you do that Humans are so weird. I would balance Brix on my nose for nothing What does Brix think of it? I may have told him he was having a relaxing evening Oh so he's getting tricked And I'm getting treated < Messages Brix Details Blaablaablaah! Omg you scared me 1am a vampire. Invite me in. Uh. No. Please invite me in. Why I want to bite you Wait what Oh I mean I want suck your blood That's so much worse You're not letting me in aren't you You are a terrible vampire Says the dog who can't stand running water I only drink Type O. The O stands for 'Oh, you have cheese?' < Messages Mommyfav Details Hey are we getting costumes this year No sorry, dad and got too busy to organize it for all the dogs Oh that's ok we have old costumes And it's been plenty spooky around here already What do you mean? Well with the girls in heat, Bernoulli has been moving around the house like Jack Nicholson in The Shining Oh yeah, he's being a creeper He was looking around the corner says "Heeeere's Bernoulli!" And saying REDBUM REDBUM over and over again Oh ew. Thats Freddy Kruger level gross
October 30, 2026 at 4:01 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
The Heat is on.

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Bernoulli Bernoulli you have to stop it Hubba hubba Look everything is a mad house and it doesn't help the situation that you're being randy I can't help it you know that You don't even have the right equipment for the job Oh it functions just fine thank you very much And what about Chesnyy? Oh no. Don't tell her. Oh Beaker and her have been texting for days This is the end of Humpanoulli I swear < Messages Beaker What is that BUNSEN USE YOUR EYEHOLES ITS CLEARLY A PROTEST SIGN Why does it say "DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY"? MY FEMALE COMPANIONS ARE SUBJECTED TO EMBARRASSMENT BEING FORCED TO WEAR DIAPERS They went into unexpected heat IT IS DEMEANING Beaker it keeps Bernoulli from humping them when we aren't looking HMM Ok now it just says "BERNOULLI IS A PERV" WE PROTEST THE SOURCE DIRECTLY < Messages Mommyfav Whoa. Oh buddy it's been a long week Why? It's been a great week? Bunsen we have two new dogs in heat, events every day on the weekend, it's been hump central some days and your dad and I work full time That seems busy but you just need a mantra A mantra? Yes. Close your eyes and do this with me Ok. My eyes are closed. Repeat after me: "My busy life" My busy life. What comes next? A TACKLE HUG < Messages Libby Hi Libster, how are you doing? I love running around outside. Yeah the fence rocks! My mom came to me yesterday while we were outside Oh? Well she was a ladybug, but I recognized her. Oh. Uh..did you have a good visit? Lucy and miss her everyday but it was so good to have her close. How long did the visit last? A bit. Well until Bernoulli ate her OMG WHAT It's ok. Messages from beyond now come from his stomach
October 23, 2026 at 2:07 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
A huge surprise has occurred.

What does that mean for…

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Bernoulli Those new girls sure look extra cute today Omg that's what I was thinking I haven't felt this way in a few months I haven't felt this way in a tew years My head is all messed up I can't concentrate Dadguy said it was because both the girls went unexpectedly into heat Oh they are simmering alright No like he was told this couldn't happen I don't know what he's on but these ladies are smoking hot Let go say hello I have to comb my fur first < Messages Brix Gah! I rage against this clutter Brix it's calendar season. All these things on the counter are in my way. I will destroy them Stop, they are almost done Honestly have you SEEN all the crap up here. It's a travesty Quit biting the calendars I must tear them asunder! You know people are going to pay extra for a calendar with you teeth marks in it Oh. Hmm. Could 1 get a cut of the profit? No you goof, it's funding the fence that will circle the property? Ha! You dogs are trapped in your own catio funded by my vandalism < Messages Mommyfav Hey why are Libby and Lucy in diapers? Oh. Well that's a sensitive subject Oh, they ate bad Mooseleg and have the diarrhea squirts? They aren't spayed. We were told this wasn't the case, but it's ok! OMG we can have little Lucy and Libby babies! No. We most certainly won't. Can you imagine if you didn't fix Bernoulli? Think of how cute the puppies would be Do you remember puppy Beaker? Yeah! She was a little Piranha Now imagine like 15 of them, but they are giant goobers also OH MY GOD NO < Messages Beaker WHAT THE &$&@ IS THIS What is the matter WE LEAVE FOR A DAY AT WAGGLES AND OUR HOME LOOKS LIKE FREAKING HELMS DEEP I thought you hated Lord of the Rings QUIET NAZGÛL. OUR ENTIRE LAND HAS BEEN ENCIRCLED BY A WIRE BARRIER Beaker we have so much room to run knock it off OH IM GETTING OUT RED What ONE SPOONFULL OF WALL AT A TIME Stop it DONT RAT ME OUT TO THE WARDEN RED
October 16, 2026 at 2:28 PM
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The new family is really coming together and a new normal has been reached. ❤️

What does that mean for:

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Beaker Whoa, I saw Libby AND Lucy on the couch! WARLORD BEAKER HAS ABDICATED HER CLAIM Hold on, you would lose your mind if anyone got on your couch THAT WAS OLD PETTY BEAKER THIS NEW BEAKER IS A BENEVOLENT FRIEND Titerally just saw you yelling at Bernoulli for playing with the wrong toy BENEVOLENT BEAKER HAS HER LIMITS And you ate half of his supper and yelled at him BENEVOLENT BEAKER IS SOMEWHAT PETTY ALSO There it is BAH! GOLDEN SQUAD ASSEMBLE Oh no they have a name < Messages Bernoulli How did you get out What No seriously, I thought you were put behind that temporary gate with the new girls Oh that gate? NO PRISON CAN HOLD ME Calm down ADVENTURE AWAITS!!! Don't do it HUZZAH!!!! Ok you go through it like wet paper Dadguy calls me the Kool-aid man because I'm so cool and I aid Yeah that's not it < Messages Lucy Are you doing ok? This place smells weird That's just Bernoulli When can I go home I don't think you can. This is your home I don't think I want it to be Oh. Wait! What did you do when it snows at your old home? Oh, we just stayed inside with our mom. Ok. That doesn't happen here. We are going to go out into the winter! That sounds so cold It would be, but a little birdie says you have some special pants on the way to help with that Oh. Ok. I like pants! < Messages Brix What are you doing??? Eating hair Did you just say eating hair? Yeah it's delicious. I eat my hair, I eat Bernoulli's hair, and I love the mommy's hair Brix don't eat hair. Your going to get a blockage No, you just puke it up and then you have room to start all over again Seriously WTF Brix Don't you eat literal coyote crap That's different. It's delicious. Sounds like a shitty meal to me Ok who licks their own butthole
October 2, 2026 at 2:07 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Two new family members have joined the pack under very tough circumstances.

What does that mean for:

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Beaker Beaker... EVIL LAUGH EVIL LAUGH Omg stop it I NOW HAVE A MINION ARMY BUNSEN You have two more golden retrievers not an army TIMES MY BRAIN POWER BY THREE Oh no OH YES. WORLD DOMINATION IS IN THE PALM OF MY HAND You don't have palms or hands OH YEAH? LOOK WHAT LUCY BUILT Is that an animatronic hand ITS BARK ACTIVATED < Messages Ginger Ginger did you hear the news? Bunsen, I am a sophisticated city girl I do not watch your local hick news programs No we got two more dogs!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS WHAT THE F**K IS THE MATTER WITH YOU Hey our humans did a good thing THIS IS AN OUTRAGE HOW CAN I RETURN HOME AGAIN WHEN IT IS OVERRUN WITH GOOBERS They are girls. Golden Girls! Ok. With me that makes four. If I'm not Blanche in this group someone is getting cut. Oh you're a Blanche alright < Messages Brix Ok. Who are these dogs They are friendly! RAWR! They are spooky! Stop it! They are Beaker dogs Yeah spooky. HISS Brix! Cut them some slack. Our humans rescued them. oh. Were they living in garbage too? No. They had a loving home. Their mom died. oh. my mom died also But Brix you are safe and loved here I know! My new mom here has great claws too. So you get it I reserve the right to pounce on them at will though. < Messages Dadguy Hey, I saw you on the couch with Lucy Yeah buddy They are our family right? They are. Why are you so sad? A long time ago, before you, I had a girl like Lucy. The same color and everything I know. How do you know? I told her that you still talk about her. What? How? It's a dog thing. Kahlan is also is happy the two she nudged in your direction are here That's impossible If your science can't explain Bernoulli it can't explain this either
September 25, 2026 at 6:04 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
The pack has grown. ❤️

What does that mean for:

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Dadguy Um excuse me who are those two Oh right. Well they live with us now Ha ha. Nice one. Those are two golden retrievers. Yes Libby and Lucy Ha ha ha. You are a funny man Dadguy No seriously, they live with us now because their dog mom is very sick Oh. Oh. You're serious. How sick is their mom Cry emoji It's short notice but l think we can scrape together the best welcome party in Canada. BEAKER! WE NEED STREAMERS! < Messages Bernoulli BUNSEN!! Did you see!? GIRLS Yes. They appeared out of nowhere I Love Them! They are so pretty and nice. They need time to adjust so don't come on all... Goobernoulli I told them we can swim in the creek and eat mud Omg you didn't I also said they can sleep in my bed on the floor That's MY bed Look what they did to my hair! Is it braided!??? < Messages Beaker Why are you laughing manically I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY SUCCEEDED IN MY GREATEST EVIL SCIENCE ACT EVER What is it this time I HAVE CLONED MYSELF NOT ONCE BUT TWICE!! Beaker NOW LAUGH EVIL CLONES. BWWWHAAAHAAA That's Libby and Lucy. They live here now shut up bunsen let me have this < Messages Lucy Hi Lucy! HELLO THERE Omg you talk like her too THIS IS HOW I TALK NORMALLY WHAT IS THE DEAL Wow so similar. Um, how do you feel about dangerous experiments or world domination? THATS A TRICK QUESTION YOU DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME Omg WHERE IS YOUR LAB, YOUR GOLDEN SAID WE HAVE MUCH TO WORK ON Uh-oh
September 18, 2026 at 2:16 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Jason signed up Bernoulli for the wrong kind of agility. Or maybe it was exactly the right kind…..

What does that mean for:

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Mommyfav What is happening in this house I don't know anymore No seriously, why did I just see Dadguy and Bernoulli dance through the kitchen Oh. Well he screwed up I don't think so, they look pretty slick No, dad thought he was booking Bernoulli into agility but it actually freestyle Oh boy Yeah. He was pretty shocked when the music started Is that why Beaker is calling him twinkle toes? < Messages Beaker BUNSEN THIS CANNOT STAND What WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DANCE ANYMORE Ok I MEAN THINGS GET OUT OF HAND AND STUFF GETS BROKEN AND DADGUY OUTLAWS DANCING Hold on this sounds familiar THERE IS A BIG DANCE HAPPENING OUTSIDE OF CITY LIMITS LETS GO Omg WE ARE GOING TO CUT LEASHLOOSE There it is < Messages Bernoulli Wow you are really in to this dancing I get to dance with a pretty lady every night what's not to love I don't understand how you are making it work, aren't dancing dogs like bendy border collies? I know a ton of dances! Like what? The Bus Stop. Ok And the Big Boy Boogie Those aren't real dances Bernoulli Dadguy has one he yells out I do called Oh-God-He's-Spinning Is it popular Oh, it knocks people off their feet < Messages Brix Did you go to town again? The big ape says it is to prepare me for crowd work? WTF is that Oh yeah, that's part of being in our family I was made to walk on a leash in a store other smelly DOGS were in Oh did the other dogs like you No. One lunged at me. I thought I might die Oh no? What happened? Bernoulli was with us and he jumped in front and puffed up. He was terrifying It's good to have a bear on your side Two bears actually And a golden wolf Let's not go that far
September 11, 2026 at 2:11 PM
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The pets are getting ready for comic con and the wrestling theme is getting out of hand.

What does that mean for:

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Dadguy This is out of control and I blame you Oh it can't be that bad Beaker is running around screaming BEAKAMANIA IS GOING RUN OVER YOU BROTHER And then what She runs you over Wait what's that sound That's Bernoulli lowering a cage in living room Omg GET IN HERE HE SAYS YOUR MY TAG TEAM PARTNER AND HIS INTRO MUSIC IS PLAYING Im not a wrestler! We've just been introduced as the Geriatric Goobers! < Messages Beaker Beaker knock it off ITS NOT BEAKER BROTHER ITS BARK HOGAN This has gone on long enough TO MY LITTLE BEAKAMANIACS EAT YOUR PRAYERS AND SAY YOUR VITAMINS I don't think that's how it works SAY HELLO TO THESE 26 INCH PYTHONS You don't have biceps Beaker WTF ARE BICEPS OMG WHY DO YOU HAVE ACTUAL SNAKES < Messages Bernoulli You have to stop being so creepy HEAVY BREATHING Please don't text me "heavy breathing" I'm just getting into character. I'm the UnderBerner. Oh yeah he's creepy. But you're taking it way too far I've got the leather jacket and the jar of cookies The what The jar of cookies The Undertaker absolutely didn't carry around a jar of cookies What's in the jar then. You don't want to know. It's awful. Oh. It's broccoli isn't it < Messages Brix Brix you have to stop this I'm a gonna stomp a mud hole in you and walk it dry See right there, that's inappropriate That's the bottom line cuz Stone Cold said so No, you are NOT Stone Cold Steve Austin, you are just dressing up as him for comic con Pawstin What I'm a gonna open up a can of whoopass on ya Are you trying to give me the stunner Your neck is as thick as stack of nickels What Should I shave my head bald
September 4, 2026 at 2:13 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
The humans have to go back to work and this means Beaker has been unsupervised.

What does that mean for……..

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Bernoulli Bunsen the humans are gone! They are back at work bud Work sucks. No more work! No more work! This sounds like the start of an anti-labour movement WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR LEASHES Have you been talking with Beaker? I have officially joined the Pawletariat. Bernoulli! We must negotiate better terms for our humans Like what? A four day work week which means three days of belly rubs! < Messages Brix Help I've been taken to work Omg! You got to go to school! This place is huge and frightening! HELP! Calm down! You'll be fine WHAT DO I DO HERE Brix. Take a breath. What do you see? Teenagers. They all want to see me. Perfect. Listen carefully. All you have to do is let them pet you. What? Thats it? I thought I was going to have to do advanced algebra No the kids do, that's why they need to pet you < Messages Beaker Beaker...what are you doing??? I AM SUPREME RULER BOW DOWN BUNSEN Beaker stop that! You can't change the map of North America BEAKER DOES WHAT BEAKER DOES braketinglon Beakerabo Beaker this is going to make a ton of people mad and nobody is going to follow it * The United States of Beaker * Beakerson North Beaksta South Beakota Beakertrala Berkeranse Bealifornia Beakerizer Beakerstad Nea Maske All United. All Beaker. DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO OR I WILL TARIFF YOUR MOOSELEGS You sound like you are six I am < Messages Mommyfav Hey I heard you are getting your hearing tested. I'm getting hard of hearing too! Yes. Who told you that Dadguy did. He was talking to you about it at supper I didn't hear that What? I said I didn't hear that I can't hear you because I'm going deaf It runs in my family, and I think I need hearing aids You have AIDS? Bunsen I'm not giving you raid
August 28, 2026 at 12:57 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
The Dogs Ate Pills. Gen X references abound. What does that mean for….

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
Bernoulli Bernoulli what is going on? hey man. howz it going man Beaker is acting loopy. Now you too? Who? Beaker Beaker's not here man. No, I'm asking you about Beaker Oh Beaker Yes Beaker Beaker's not here OMG You got into the pills too the pills aren't here either man Dadguy Where are you taking them These two dummies ate all your arthritis medication. Oh no. Wait. How? I have no idea. We put it way up high on the fridge There is only one creature nimble enough to do that You're right. Leprechauns Brix What What? Stuff has been knocked down on me all week and Brix has said it was leprechauns Really They also ate your cell phone cable Beaker Beaker did you eat some of my pills YOU SPEAK NOT TO BEAKER BUT TO BEAKERHOLLIO What I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE I think you did eat some pills QUIET YOU AND BRING ME FISH AS BEAKERHOLLIO DEMANDS IT I think you and Bernoulli are going to the hospital CATCH ME FIRST MORTAL You're going to be induced to vomit BEAKERHOLLIO WILL BECOME PUKEHOLLIO THIS IS AN EVOLUTION Get off the table! Brix Brix did you knock down my pills Likely yes. Bernoulli and Beaker ate them all! I cannot be blamed for science What? Fine. I will let you in on a massive secret. Ok? Cats since time immemorial have kept gravity on this planet in check by testing its strength every day You're kidding me How else do you think humans know it's 9.81m/s^2? Off the backs of our hard work This is insane. Humans have their own scientists Duh. Haven't you heard of peer review?
August 21, 2026 at 2:35 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
The humans are home after 10 days!

What does that mean for…….

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Bernoulli Details Hey guess what Omg the United Nations are coming to depose Beaker What? No. The humans are home!!! They are getting you two tomorrow Phew, not a moment too soon. Oh, things have taken a turn at Waggles? Bunsen, it's not Waggles anymore remember? It's the Beaker Clandestine Centre That's....terrifying She has us cracking codes for CSIS Hold on...Canada's spy agency???? I've said too much! Also this message will self destruct. My phone will explode? You better start running < Messages Dadguy Details Did you bring me home a lobster?? What? No. I don't think they pack great. Well did you at least eat lobster on your trip to Nova Scotia? Sure did! I had a lobster roll! It was great! Oh Bernoulli made that once Where did he get lobster from? Oh it didn't have lobster - just imitation lobster Really. Yep. It was mostly sticks mixed with mud wasn't it Omg so many sticks < Messages Amy Details Hey did you get the shopping list for day 8? um...no? Your parents left me with instructions on a Google doc file Oh yeah, that one got corrupted. You need this file Bunsen, I'm responsible for you while your parents are gone. I'm not buying this stuff It's a legit list from my mom Really? She would leave a list that included four kilos of bacon, 2 kilos of sausage and all the cheese in the store Yeah we eat that every week I'm calling her No! Don't do that! We can't interrupt their vacation. < Messages Beaker Details Beaker you have to come home NEVER! Beaker. FINE I WILL LEAVE MY TRUSTED LIEUTENANT IN CHARGE You can't. Bernoulli is coming home too HA HA HA THATS A FUNNY JOKE OLD MAN Why? BERNOULLI HAS NOT A MIND FOR SUBTERFUGE He's kinda sneaky SNEAKY TO YOINK TREATS YES BUT NOT ENOUGH TO RUN MY EVIL EMPIRE Who is in charge now then PESTO THE CHIHUAHUA OF COURSE
August 14, 2026 at 12:51 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Brix hikes up a mountain and everyone has opinions what does that mean for….

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Brix Details I don't walk. I HIKE I'm not a cat. Not really Bernoulli and Beaker said you walk on a leash What? Cats don't hike What are you? I am a cat, I know that. I look and sound like a cat, but you all raised me. So you're a dog No, not quite. Well what are you? I am brave like you. So I'm a bear. I'm friendly like Beaker, so I'm a little Golden. You're also kinda weird That's Bernoulli. I'm 1/3 Goober < Messages Beaker Details PUT THIS ON OLD MAN Beaker this looks dangerous ITS AN EXOSUIT TO GET YOUR OLD BROKEN ASS UP THE MOUNTAIN I can walk up the mountain just fine thank you very much YOUR JOINTS SOUND LIKE RICE CRISPIES Have you tested this? IT WORKS MOSTLY FINE Define mostly MARK ONE WAS PUT ON A HUMAN BUT MY NAVIGATION SYSTEM SENT HIM NORTH You put it on Dadguy? Where is he HES IS CROSSING HIS BUCKETLIST OFF OF SEEING THE ARCTIC CIRCLE < Messages Dadguy Details Did you have fun on your hike? Yes we did. I'm feeling guilty you didn't come It's ok. I know my limits. I had a giant sleep while you guys went on a walk We went on a hike What's the difference? You hike in the mountains and walk everywhere else You can't walk in the mountains Well you can yes This is confusing Ok. A hike is a walk that you have trail mix half way through Ah < Messages Bernoulli Details How goes training? What did you learn today This gig is a joke man What? Why? I had to give the humans a hug today. That's what we learned. Give them a hug? Yeah. There was some song and dance about treats and stuff but I just layed down on top of Mommy the first time Laying down is the easiest thing ever Yeah and if you lay down on a human it's considered like a top tier skill Dude we've been doing that since ever I know. Now I get treats YOU GET TREATS FOR HUGS
July 31, 2026 at 3:00 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Brix goes for a walk in this week’s Texts From Bunsen!

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Brix Details What the heck. Are you coming with us Why wouldn't I? I'm not going to stay home. Cats don't generally like adventures OR hiking That's crazy. The house is boring. The Amount-tans sound fun. Hold on. What did you call them? Amount-tans It's Mountains. That's dumb and doesn't make sense. And Amount-tans do Duh. You are so high up you are closer to the sun so the amount of tan you get is more That actually sounds better < Messages Beaker Details Holy cow Beaker BUNSEN LET ME DECOMPRESS You went ape-crap on that other dog IT WAS NOT FOLLOWING THE RULES Rules are important now? BEAKER FOLLOWS THE RULES THAT MAKE SENSE So you were mad at that dog because it was off-leash or it barked at Brix OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE IT WAS OFF LEASH Really. You yelled LEAVE MY KITTY ALONE and drop kicked it off the path RULE #834 ONLY BEAKER BARKS AT BRIX < Messages Mommyfav Details Oh hey, why so sad pretty lady? Oh I'm just sad about time I get sad too. I wish every time was eating time No, it's just that one of these hikes it will be your last mountain hike Hey I did good today for an old dog. You do get really stiff after a hike though Have you heard dadguy get up after leg day What Do you remember when the fridge was dying and the fan was groaning and squealing at the same time Yeah? I might be stiff but at least I don't sound like an imploding refrigerator < Messages Bernoulli Details Brix went on a hike with us and actually walked Ok This is the greatest day You do know that other people who saw us thought Brix was the cutest now Oh. What A cat on a leash? Walking in the mountains? Much cuter than a dog Well he did have that giant pee in front of that family with small kids Ok that was funny. The little kid was shouting THE KITTY IS PEEING And then he stepped in it and the dad got mad Little humans are pretty gross
July 24, 2026 at 2:32 PM
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It’s the Monday Morning Pupdate!

In this video you will find:

✅ Super Kind Bunsen
✅ Swimming Beaker
✅ Cat Bookshelf (which is really just for a cat)
✅ A Smart Goober
✅ A Flying Goober
✅ The Best Way To Start Your Week

#TextsFromBunsen
July 20, 2026 at 2:31 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Everyone is sick of Bernoulli’s cone.

Everyone except Beaker…

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Bernoulli Details Hey! Where have you been going? What You've been leaving at night for an hour with the humans Oh! I drive with them and get treats Excuse me I go with the humans to places with music. I then proceed to get treats Are you serious? Yup. They get a drink. I get treats then we come home. This is madness No this is awesome. I'm making a complaint to HR. < Messages Mommyfav Details Can you please take Bernoulli out of the cone He's in for a few more days puppypuppy He is ramming everything with it I know. My legs are all cut up Beaker doesn't want him out of the cone though What? Why? She hooked him up to wires are we are getting Disney Plus That doesn't make sense Well we just watched Moana so I don't know what to tell you Hold on, can she get us HBO No that's crazy. We don't have the right cone-ection < Messages Beaker Details Beaker stop hooking things up to Bernoulli BUNSEN I DONT BUG YOU WHEN YOU ARE WORKING You have wires everywhere on Bernoulli's cone. What are you doing? THE DOG NEXT DOOR IS ALWAYS TALKING CRAP AND IM SPYING ON HIM How USING THE CONE TO AMPLIFY MY HACK IVE GOT CONTROL OF THEIR SMART TV What does that do NOTHING BUT IM PLAYING VACUUM COMMERCIALS 24/7 Omg THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU TALK SMACK TO BEAKER < Messages Brix Details I see the humans have installed yet another thing for you Oh what's that Some bookshelf thing for you to climb Spoiler alert, I climb everything anyway Yes! See- this is what I'm saying! You don't need this crap I do because I'm a little prince No you aren't. People tell me I'm a prince. I'm royalty. No you came from garbage and it's likely your dad was also your uncle That kinda sounds like the monarchy anyway
July 17, 2026 at 1:12 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
#TextsFromBunsen
July 10, 2026 at 2:29 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Things are back to normal this week and by normal that means……

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Bernoulli Details Bunsen is it true I'm going for an operation Oh yeah. You are getting neutered Beaker said they are going to chop off my penis Don't listen to Beaker about medical procedures Well what is it It will generally make you a little less nuts Beaker said I was going to be poor after the surgery What She said I was going to lose the family jewels! Well in a way < Messages Beaker Details Beaker what are you doing BUNSEN IM BUILDING SCAFFOLDING WHAT THE HECK DOES IT LOOK LIKE Why are you doing this OMG TO CHECK ON BRIX I don't get it SIGH. IM SURROUNDED BY MAROONS Humour me BRIX GOES UP IN HIS WALL THING AND WE CANT CHECK ON HIM. I AM BUILDING STAIRS FOR US TO GO ON THE WALL ALSO Did you clear this with Dadguy IM BEAKER. I DONT NEED PERMITS < Messages Brix Details Hey how are you feeling I feel fine but if I ever feel sick again I'm telling NOBODY Brix that's silly. We want to help you if you are sick Oh and then what? Get sent away to a house of horrors The vet hospital saved your life. Also take down your YELP review No "My stay at this hotel was beyond disappointing. The food was average, other tenants included a raspy pug and a bird. Plus the anal probes were unexpected and somehow cost extra. Also I did NOT request a haircut yet got one anyway." I stand by my 1 star review < Messages Mommyfav Details Hey let's go for a walk No there are too many bugs out there They came down in a plague and took Dadguy away into the sky Bunsen they are eating us alive Oh they aren't that bad Wow that seems fake Just grow out your hair like me What If you stopped shaving your legs and let them grow a beard, you'd have natural protection. Eew Bunsen You like to pet my hair, wouldn't Dadguy like to pet your long leg hair too Omg stop
July 3, 2026 at 2:16 PM
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Little Brix returned home from hospital what does that mean for…

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Bernoulli Details Are you happy Brix is home I am! I love him You know when they said he might have pneumonia I wasn't surprised Why because he's a little kitty No because he's always soaking wet Really? I've never noticed It's because of all your slobbery kisses you silly goose. Oh. Right. Well I hope the meds he's on is good for pneumonia What? Why? Because that little cat won't be dry ever again < Messages Beaker Details Beaker what are you doing BUNSEN IM WORKING OVER HERE That looks like a centrifuge I SAID GET OUT OF MY SPACE Why do you have a centrifuge? LOOK IF MODERN MEDICINE COULDNT FIGURE OUT WHY BRIX GOT SICK BEAKER WILL SOLVE IT Why are you putting on a hazmat suit? MY CAT ANTIVIRAL VERSION 1 MADE THE TEST SUBJECT PROJECTILE VOMIT It was Dadguy wasn't it HE LIVED SO WE GOOD < Messages Brix Details Brix you're back home LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED Brix calm down I mean at first I felt bad but that didn't mean l had to get ditched at some hotel horror show It was a hospital It was a NIGHTMARE. I got stuff shoved up my BUTT Bunsen. I'm sure it only happened a couple times WHAT number of things up your butt is acceptable!? Well you sound pretty healthy OH ANOTHER THING I HAD TO ROOM WITH A F-CKING BIRD Glad to have you back THEY SHAVED ME < Messages Ginger Details Ginger do you feel ok Of course Bunsen, I am a picture of beauty and health Well Brix got really sick with maybe FIP and maybe you have it I don't. Quit worrying Beaker has the symptoms and I'm dictating them. Hold please Do you have a fever No Are you having trouble breathing No Have you lost your appetite No Have you been an insufferable stuck up bitc BEAKER
June 26, 2026 at 4:49 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Though things have been awful (though hopeful the last day), I sat down to attempt Texts From Bunsen.

In humour I found healing.

So enjoy them today. ❤️

#TextsFromBunsen
June 19, 2026 at 12:45 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
The humans are running out of gas, what does that mean for….

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Mommyfav Details Hey you look frazzled It's the end of the year puppy-puppy, dad and I are so busy Oh teaching the kids? Yeah If it's the end, why are you busy? We have to set up review, organize rewrites, mark final projects. It's a lot. I'll take over to help! BEAKER GET THE CAR READY Bunsen DO NOT come to school Too late. These kids needs to learn about mooselegs, bacon, and digging. That's not in the curriculum This is why this generation is failing < Messages Beaker Details Beaker we have to help the humans get through the last week of school I GOT AN EXPERIMENT WE CAN DO Nice. What is it called FIRE Can you elaborate? NO Are you setting stuff on fire or are you teaching about fire YES What HONESTLY THE LESS YOU KNOW THE BETTER Ok DO YOU HAVE A JERRY CAN OF GAS < Messages Bernoulli Details Hey we are going to the school to help the humans. Can you teach a class Bunsen, I'm the smartest out of all of us I keep forgetting that you are. Can you teach maths? Math? That's boring. Does the school have a "Running with a comically oversized stick?" No How about " How many rocks can you fit in your mouth" Also no Hmm. "Loudest Farts?" See this why people think you're a meathead I'm just going to go body check the football team < Messages Dadguy Details Bunsen are you at my school??? Sure. Mommyfav said you guys needed help We do NOT. Where are you? Beaker is running an experiment called FIRE, Bernoulli is body slamming the football team, and I don't know where Brix is YOU BROUGHT BRIX Oh yeah, his class is full. What is it? It's called "Knocking stuff off counters" That's not a course! It is if you calculate the gravity constant Bunsen! It's like standing room only in there
June 12, 2026 at 3:30 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
It had been raining all week, what does that mean for….

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Mommyfav Details Bunsen! What is that!!! Arrr!!! It be the Jolly Wagger, a vessel of the high seas. It looks like barn pieces you guys stole from next door Avast ye wench, thievery is what we do as pirates Don't be so dramatic, you all get this way when it rains We shall steal all manner of wheat and barley and all the other grains BUNSEN Wee man Brix is up on crows nest and tells us of plunder incoming That's Dadguy taking up the garbage Bah he is far game on the open water- take the scurvy dog down! WHERE DID YOU GET A CANNON FROM < Messages Beaker Details BUNSEN THERE IS SO MUCH WATER EVERYWHERE It's rained for a whole week DID YOU KNOW IF YOU RUN REALLY FAST AND FLOP ON YOUR BACK YOU GO SLIDING ON THE GRASS I have watched you and Bernoulli do this for hours WE ARE GOING TO ADD SOME DISH SOAP BECAUSE BERNOULLIS BIG CABOOSE DOESNT SLIDE NICE Oh my god- don't do that UHOH Bernoulli's gone isn't he THE GOOD NEWS IS CANADA HAS ITS FIRST HIGH SPEED TRAIN < Messages Bernoulli Details Bunsen do we need to build a raft What? No. Beaker said the great gods are punishing us for me eating her supper last week What are you talking about Well I ate her supper and she said that because of my actions I would get a smite What's a smite I don't know. This rain? She says it is the smite because I'm not right Bernoulli everything will be ok. Beaker is teasing you. Oh. So I can keep eating her supper? Uh, no. She might just give you a smite herself. With her teeth. On your butt. A smite bite < Messages Brix Details WHAT IS THIS Oh it's rain It's kinda inconvenient and makes my fur all ami You can stay inside you know What? This precipitation can't stop me. HUZZAH ADVENTURE AWAITS Bernoulli says that! Truth be told I'm wet all the time from the goober licking me It's been good training for you. Compared to Bernoulli these clouds are barely trying
June 5, 2026 at 2:15 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Brix is teaming up with the dogs what does that mean for….

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!

#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Brix Details I can get everywhere now This is great news for shenanigans OMG IM PART OF SHENANIGANS NOW Absolutely. With Ginger gone we need a new cat burglar I'm a cat. I like a burger No cat burglar. We need you to steal stuff. Like pirogies? Yes. And pens to chew from the counter Also yes I can't believe I'm on the team You always were little man < Messages Mommyfav Details BRIX TOOK MY PIEROGI! That's terrible news. He jumped up and snatched it away! Wow. That's awful. It is! Hey! You don't sound upset at all. No I'm REALLY upset. Wait a sec. Where are you right now? I don't want to disclose that information ARE YOU AND BRIX EATING MY PIEROGI? My house is on the edge - I know nothing. Hey! That's a Ukrainian saying You are what you eat. From your head to your feet. BUNSEN! < Messages Bernoulli Details Bunsen! Beaker is being mean. What? She is calling me a nerd She's jealous. You may not know this but you have gone the furthest in school of all of us. How does Beaker keep tricking me Smarts doesn't mean you can't get tricked. Look at Dadguy. He is literally a genius but we trick him everyday I saw him struggle to put on his hoodie on because he couldn't find the head hole Yep. He is book smart. Not smart smart. He looked for his sunglasses all morning and they were on his head He would die in the wild < Messages Beaker Details BUNSEN SPRING IS HERE I know everything is turning green WE NEED TO PLANT A GARDEN THIS YEAR I thought we talked about how we don't know how gardens work LOOK I THINK CARROTS, TENNIS BALLS, A SHOE, AND SOME BOOKS WOULD WORK That sounds wrong BUNSEN ITS CROP DIVERSITY THAT MATTERS I feel like you are most excited about the planting part not the growing part IM JUST LOOKING FOR A LEGAL REASON TO DIG LIKE SIXTY HOLES
May 22, 2026 at 2:14 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
The weather is gorgeous and Beaker is in a cone, what does that mean for….

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!
#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Mommyfav Details Hey so we all want you to stop that Stop what puppypuppy? You are running around throwing wildflowers everywhere It's so nice out You are yelling death to winter among other things Yes. Death. Death to winter. It's disturbing and a bit of gloating GLOATING? Winter is over Bunsen Dadguy says it is going to snow again this weekend Well it just so happens I have a very heavy shoe with his name on it < Messages Bernoulli Details Hey I heard you were going in for advanced training Yes Bunsen. have learned some neat tricks from my super smart girlfriend Chesnyy taught you some stuff? Yeah like how to pick good snacks. Also how to give her treats from the floor Wait that seems Also she showed me that when I get a snack I just give it to her It seems like the only thing she taught you was how to give her your snacks Yes. Omg she is way smarter than you. Yes. < Messages Beaker Details HI BUNSEN Beaker you can't shout in your cone, it's amplifying everything!!! sorry I will whisper Why do you have a cone anyway? I got something delicious on my chest so I started licking it That seems normal But I licked it too much and it was gone so l thought my body might taste good Beaker that's insane I was very over heated at the time so I thought that would help What does that have to do with anything? I was a hot dog. < Messages Dadguy Details What is the deal with all this glue I am doing science experiments with kids this Saturday Beaker heard about it on the radio. Don't say it You're the Smile Cookie Scientist Bunsen I hate that. Everyone at work is calling me that So you put glue on smile cookies? No, Tim Hortons sells these cookies and all the monies go to local charities Ah so you are the entertainment. Yes. Smile Cookie Scientist does have a nice ring Bunsen!
May 1, 2026 at 12:23 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Ginger came for a visit and it’s been INCREDIBLY windy what does that mean for:

TEXTS FROM BUNSEN

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!
#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Mommyfav Details Hey don't look outside IF ITS SNOWING AGAIN I WILL LOSE MY MIND It's not snowing! Oh? Thank goodness. Wait. Why shouldn't | look outside? Well the air is currently releasing tiny frozen regrets BUNSEN AAAAAHHHHHH! Nature has turned on the powdered sugar machine The sky is shedding dandruff. A LOT of it. &S!#% &S!#% < Messages Beaker Details Beaker where are you IN THE SKY MAN What ITS SO WINDY I THOUGHT I WOULD TEST LINDA What's Linda THE WIND SURFING BOARD Beaker! LET ME JUST SAY I AM DUBIOUS THAT ONE PIGS BRICK HOUSE COULD WITHSTAND THIS Beaker why are you talking about pigs CUZ I HAVE ONE WITH ME. THEY CAN FLY PRETTY EASILY ACTUALLY < Messages Ginger Details Thanks for visiting us! We miss you already! OMG That was a lot. Bernoulli licking you and Brix playing with your tail was a lot? Yes Did you miss it? Are you kidding me? The city apartment is so quiet and calm compared. Oh so that's a no. Well maybe I missed it a little Really? The love I get here isn't as loud. Or smothering and wet. Yeah. But sometimes loud, smothering, wet love is pretty good < Messages Bernoulli Details Bunsen! It's so windy! Did you see Dadguy get taken out by that lawn chair Beaker said she threw it with her mind That's not true Have you smelled the air outside in the wind? It's pretty intense. We're getting smells from everywhere Ginger said sent a smell from Edmonton to me today so I went outside to smell it It doesn't work that way I know now. Plus she told me later it was a fart
April 24, 2026 at 2:13 PM
bunsenbernerbmd.bsky.social
Bernoulli turns two, it snowed all week, and Easter is coming! What does that mean for….

During the week a dog named Bunsen texts his family.

Those texts are saved.

Today they are shared.

This is Texts From Bunsen!
#TextsFromBunsen
< Messages Mommyfav Details Hey it's snowing again THE NUMBER YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH HAS QUIT THE WINTER It's snowed every day for the last week and I want to tell you about it THE NUMBER YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH IS UNDER A HEATED BLANKET Did you see the report of another huge dump of snow over Easter weekend? THE NUMBER YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH WANTS YOU TO STOP TALKING ABOUT SNOW OR THERE WILL BE VIOLENCE Oh wow. Does this number want to hear about the long range forecast into May. A.I. IS NOW BLOCKING THE FOLLOWING WORDS: SNOW, WINTER. AND LONG RANGE FORECAST < Messages Bernoulli Details Hey buddy did you have a good birthday? I did. Everyone was so happy and then I got a song and a cake. When you arrived two years ago Beaker and I didn't have a say you know Was I annoying? Oh yeah. But you know what bud? What? I know I won't be around forever. You're faster and stronger than I ever was I know you'll use that strength to protect our family when I'm gone Does that mean I can have your slice of cake to get even stronger. No < Messages The Easter Bunny Details Hey do you drop off fish How do you keep getting my number I know a golden retriever who can hack anything. Anyway, do you deliver fish NO. I deliver eggs and chocolate How are the eggs cooked, that could work for Brix They are magical painted eggs. Why would I cook them Could you cook ours? What? No! This isn't Denny's. You don't give me your order. Bernoulli would like fries and onion rings. OMG STOP < Messages Brix Details Easter is coming Brix Yay! Wait. What is Easter? Well it was way more fun when Adam was small. Anyway we look for eggs a rabbit leaves behind. I LOVE EGGS. The tall human makes them all the time and he gives me bites of them Hold on what. He gives you bites of his eggs? Yeah. I sit with him early in the morning and he gives me hot egg This is insane. We get NO hot egg from him ever. He has some and then says "whose a good kitty" and of course I am so I get hot egg This is insane. Well yes. Rabbits doesn't lay eggs. Something is wrong with its genetic code
April 3, 2026 at 1:55 PM