April 26, 2026 at 4:18 AM
Drop some headwear 👒🌙
April 16, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Drop some headwear 👒🌙
Turns out I do burn in sunlight. Dracula warned me and I didn’t listen. So, today I’m medium-rare. Sun 1 - Me 0.
#vampireproblems
#vampireproblems
June 14, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Turns out I do burn in sunlight. Dracula warned me and I didn’t listen. So, today I’m medium-rare. Sun 1 - Me 0.
#vampireproblems
#vampireproblems
this happens anytime the moons full #vampireproblems/sil
no... gh... it's a full moon... i'm... i'm turning... STRAIGHT!!
September 19, 2026 at 1:28 AM
this happens anytime the moons full #vampireproblems/sil
People always think I have this big anti-aging secret that I refuse to share with the rest of humanity. I don't have one. I don't really know what to tell them when they ask. 😮💨 #VampireProblems
March 18, 2026 at 4:23 AM
People always think I have this big anti-aging secret that I refuse to share with the rest of humanity. I don't have one. I don't really know what to tell them when they ask. 😮💨 #VampireProblems
Hashtag VampireProblems
December 27, 2024 at 4:11 AM
Hashtag VampireProblems
"I have to ask, how old are you again?"
"I'm 42."
"You really look so incredibly young. I expected a much older man"
What am I supposed to do about it, age myself with make up or something? 😮💨 I look the way I look 😮💨 This is why I dislike being among people 😮💨 #VampireProblems
"I'm 42."
"You really look so incredibly young. I expected a much older man"
What am I supposed to do about it, age myself with make up or something? 😮💨 I look the way I look 😮💨 This is why I dislike being among people 😮💨 #VampireProblems
February 16, 2026 at 4:56 PM
"I have to ask, how old are you again?"
"I'm 42."
"You really look so incredibly young. I expected a much older man"
What am I supposed to do about it, age myself with make up or something? 😮💨 I look the way I look 😮💨 This is why I dislike being among people 😮💨 #VampireProblems
"I'm 42."
"You really look so incredibly young. I expected a much older man"
What am I supposed to do about it, age myself with make up or something? 😮💨 I look the way I look 😮💨 This is why I dislike being among people 😮💨 #VampireProblems
dangit, i love garlic IRL but i went with this vampire persona on here and now i'm conflicted #Garlic-#VampireProblems
December 12, 2025 at 4:03 PM
dangit, i love garlic IRL but i went with this vampire persona on here and now i'm conflicted #Garlic-#VampireProblems
How I examine my pal after they impale my chest with a wooden pike and banish me from the plane of the living #vampireproblems
May 7, 2026 at 4:27 AM
How I examine my pal after they impale my chest with a wooden pike and banish me from the plane of the living #vampireproblems
Tfw the dude you're with gives you what you think is going to be a glass of blood, but it turns out to just be wine, UGH. 😒
Worse yet, he wants to have sex with you, whereas you just want to snack on his jugular, god damn it. 🙄
#vampireproblems
Worse yet, he wants to have sex with you, whereas you just want to snack on his jugular, god damn it. 🙄
#vampireproblems
December 14, 2023 at 10:09 PM
Tfw the dude you're with gives you what you think is going to be a glass of blood, but it turns out to just be wine, UGH. 😒
Worse yet, he wants to have sex with you, whereas you just want to snack on his jugular, god damn it. 🙄
#vampireproblems
Worse yet, he wants to have sex with you, whereas you just want to snack on his jugular, god damn it. 🙄
#vampireproblems
#vampireproblems when you can't get out of your car to go into work because of this nonsense
November 21, 2024 at 7:08 PM
#vampireproblems when you can't get out of your car to go into work because of this nonsense
Vampires watching humans put garlic in literally everything:
“These people hate peace.”
Imagine being undead for 500 years and still losing to seasoning.
#VampireProblems #GarlicEverywhere #ParanormalComedy
“These people hate peace.”
Imagine being undead for 500 years and still losing to seasoning.
#VampireProblems #GarlicEverywhere #ParanormalComedy
June 17, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Vampires watching humans put garlic in literally everything:
“These people hate peace.”
Imagine being undead for 500 years and still losing to seasoning.
#VampireProblems #GarlicEverywhere #ParanormalComedy
“These people hate peace.”
Imagine being undead for 500 years and still losing to seasoning.
#VampireProblems #GarlicEverywhere #ParanormalComedy
Why can't I just acquire blood without causing any trouble for people? #vampireproblems
December 27, 2024 at 10:36 PM
Why can't I just acquire blood without causing any trouble for people? #vampireproblems