#WalmartWoes #MichiganMadness #EverydayLowPrices #RollbackRampage #CrimeUnbeatable By: TheJestPress.com **Walmart Unveils New “Rollback Rampage” Sale as Multiple People Stabbed—Customers Still Hunt for Lower Prices** MICHIGAN—In a shocking twist on “everyday low prices,” an ordinary afternoon at a Michigan Walmart was interrupted when multiple people were stabbed, prompting shocked shoppers to wonder if Walmart’s new rollback deals had simply gotten out of hand.

MUSKEGON, MI — Chaos briefly erupted at a local Walmart when longtime greeter Linda Farnsworth, 27, paused mid-smile, stared into the fluorescent void, and loudly asked, “Why am I so angry at the world right now?” Customers applauded in confusion. One man wept. Another took a selfie and returned to buying cat litter.