I’ve achieved my dream collection. #PhysicalMedia
December 7, 2025 at 2:56 PM
I’ve achieved my dream collection. #PhysicalMedia
Total Brazil domination achieved
August 31, 2024 at 2:28 PM
Total Brazil domination achieved
And 35 years later, Milli Vanilli achieved greatness by promising not to sing
June 2, 2026 at 1:21 PM
And 35 years later, Milli Vanilli achieved greatness by promising not to sing
incredible scenes when you have a president who hasn't achieved object permanence
April 19, 2025 at 3:46 AM
incredible scenes when you have a president who hasn't achieved object permanence
Woman Passed Out In Hot Yoga Class Must Have Achieved Nirvana
theonion.com/woman-p...
theonion.com/woman-p...
July 5, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Woman Passed Out In Hot Yoga Class Must Have Achieved Nirvana
theonion.com/woman-p...
theonion.com/woman-p...
What has this war of choice in Iran achieved?!
September 25, 2026 at 12:05 AM
What has this war of choice in Iran achieved?!
Finally, segregationists have achieved their dream of capturing the Civil Rights Division and turning it to their own ends
September 25, 2026 at 11:05 AM
Finally, segregationists have achieved their dream of capturing the Civil Rights Division and turning it to their own ends
March 29, 2025 at 10:55 PM
I’ve achieved my final form.
October 27, 2024 at 5:06 AM
I’ve achieved my final form.
New bedroom achieved
September 2, 2025 at 7:22 PM
New bedroom achieved
New profile avatar achieved
March 3, 2025 at 2:15 PM
New profile avatar achieved
Escape velocity achieved.
the newly released Epstein emails are getting coverage on Fox News 👀
November 12, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Escape velocity achieved.
I think Claude Code has achieved AGI
November 22, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I think Claude Code has achieved AGI
The funniest number in our charity drive has been achieved. Goblins are powerful creatures. 🎉
January 17, 2025 at 9:15 AM
The funniest number in our charity drive has been achieved. Goblins are powerful creatures. 🎉
HIMBO STATUS ACHIEVED!!!
September 23, 2026 at 11:06 PM
HIMBO STATUS ACHIEVED!!!
zero pull-ups achieved
December 8, 2025 at 11:19 PM
zero pull-ups achieved
Rick Grennel achieved a dream today by denying a Black woman her vote.
The White House claims the vote to rename the Kennedy Center was “unanimous.” That is false. I was muted on the call and denied the opportunity to speak or register my opposition. That is not consensus. That is censorship.
December 18, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Rick Grennel achieved a dream today by denying a Black woman her vote.
Manhattan for all the hard work you've achieved ✨️ 🍸
April 5, 2025 at 6:15 AM
Manhattan for all the hard work you've achieved ✨️ 🍸
Covid shot achieved!
September 10, 2026 at 3:27 PM
Covid shot achieved!
All this President has achieved is: Make American Humiliation in War, Great Again.
May 6, 2026 at 5:06 AM
All this President has achieved is: Make American Humiliation in War, Great Again.
Five things I achieved last week:
- Naps
- Snoozes
- Resting my eyes
- Dozing
- Writing this list
- Naps
- Snoozes
- Resting my eyes
- Dozing
- Writing this list
February 23, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Five things I achieved last week:
- Naps
- Snoozes
- Resting my eyes
- Dozing
- Writing this list
- Naps
- Snoozes
- Resting my eyes
- Dozing
- Writing this list
Hoping I’ve achieved ex jock status
January 23, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Hoping I’ve achieved ex jock status