Blessed are those who mourn: for they are super sad. I mean, like, miserable. Huh. I didn't really bring that one home, did I? #beatwitudes

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the lamest earth you could possibly imagine. I'm talking Planet Canada. #beatwitudes

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness: they will receive a coupon for buy one, get one righteousness. #beatwitudes

Blessed are the peacemakers: for in God's sight, they are second only to the Freshmaker™. #beatwitudes #mentos #sponsoredtweet