#brainstatic
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nuclearanthro.bsky.social
With alt-text.

I laughed.
brainstatic I want a Santa movie where he's actually Saint Nicholaos of Myra. Three kids run away from home and find a portal to the Council Of Nicaea in 325 AD. Then the kids watch him debate the promulgation of canon law. In the end they return home and tell their parents that presents aren't important so long as Pentecost is counted 50 days after Easter on the Roman solar calendar and not the Jewish lunar calendar. brainstatic And the kids tell their parents the whole story and the dad is like "those kids and their imaginations." But then he sees a piece of paper in the dog's mouth and goes "whatcha got there boy? Is that... orders from the Holy See that the schismatic bishop Meletius is to remain in Lycopolis and keep his episcopal title but the ecclesiastics ordained by him must again receive the laying of hands? But...how?" And then he gazes off to the sky and you hear a light jingling of bells and then a voice over goes "Ho ho ho! The baptisms performed by the Paulian heretics are invalid! Merry Christmas!" Source: brainstatic
December 10, 2025 at 4:36 AM
sasquatch.bsky.social
It's going to start happening soon
Tumblr post of one person responding to brainstatic. brainstatic At some point Republicans are going to start believing in climate change, and they're going to push for things like cutting off electricity to black neighborhoods and taking cars away from working class people, and we're going to miss the denial days. finni-b fuck I hate how horrifically brutally possible this feels
November 25, 2024 at 3:02 AM
funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social
brainstatic The key to getting over imposter syndrome is to know everyone else is an imposter too. Tell yourself you deserve a stake in the scam they're all running. smitethepatriarchy Ummmm excuse me but this is fucking brilliant. drst Did you just cure imposter syndrome with... spite? jabberwockypie You can cure a LOT with spite.
May 29, 2026 at 5:50 PM
teufelaffe.bsky.social
Tumblr post by user brainstatic that reads, "I hate this notion that universities need to literally let anyone speak or else you're stifling knowledge. Here's something that stifles knowledge: having to explain very basic things over and over. If you let someone barge into a medical laboratory and yell "everyone stop what you're doing and prove to me germs exist", that's stifling knowledge. Shutting everything down so that a neo-nazi can calmly ask whether black people are people does not enrich a learning environment in any way, it drags everything down and exhausts everyone. Free speech absolutism is crude and unsophisticated, we need to acknowledge that sometimes speech has deleterious effects on the free speech of others."
October 26, 2025 at 4:04 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
season's greason's
brainstatic: I want a Santa movie where he's actually Saint Nicholaos of Myra. Three kids run away from home and find a portal to the Council Of Nicaea in 325 AD. Then the kids watch him debate the promulgation of canon law. In the end they return home and tell their parents that presents aren't important so long as Pentecost is counted 50 days after Easter on the Roman solar calendar and not the Jewish lunar calendar. brainstatic: And the kids tell their parents the whole story and the dad is like "those kids and their imaginations. But then he sees a piece of paper in the dog's mouth and goes "whatcha got there boy? Is that... orders from the Holy See that the schismatic bishop Meletius is to remain in Lycopolis and keep his episcopal title but the ecclesiastics ordained by him must again receive the laying of hands? But...how?" And then he gazes off to the sky and you hear a light jingling of bells and then a voice over goes "Ho ho ho! The baptisms performed by the Paulian heretics are invalid! Merry Christmas!"
December 6, 2025 at 3:16 AM
synapsid.wtf
"lmao, as if i know sportball teams" ass redditor brainstatic
April 29, 2026 at 12:13 AM
disentingcat.bsky.social
brainstatic The key to getting over imposter syndrome is to know everyone else is an imposter too. Tell yourself you deserve a stake in the scam they're all running. smitethepatriarchy Ummmm excuse me but this is fucking brilliant. drst Did you just cure imposter syndrome with... spite? jabberwockypie You can cure a LOT with spite.
October 9, 2025 at 8:36 PM
msfoil.xyz
this deserves a Megalopolis sized budget and a Charlie Kaufman script
[tumblr post from user brainstatic (brain static)] I want a Santa movie where he's actually Saint Nicholaos of Myra. Three kids run away from home and find a portal to the Council Of Nicaea in 325 AD. Then the kids watch him debate the promulgation of canon law. In the end they return home and tell their parents that presents aren't important so long as Pentecost is counted 50 days after Easter on the Roman solar calendar and not the Jewish lunar calendar. And the kids tell their parents the whole story and the dad is like "those kids and their imaginations." But then he sees a piece of paper in the dog's mouth and goes "whatcha got there boy? Is that... orders from the Holy See that the schismatic bishop Meletius is to remain in Lycopolis and keep his episcopal title but the ecclesiastics ordained by him must again receive the laying of hands? But…how?" And then he gazes off to the sky and you hear a light jingling of bells and then a voice over goes "Ho ho ho! The baptisms performed by the Paulian heretics are invalid! Merry Christmas!"
December 18, 2024 at 5:00 PM
handtotheneedle.bsky.social
fortunately I was READY for this one bc I just listened to the Santa Claus episode of the @americanmedieval.bsky.social
Two posts by brainstatic; the first: 'I want a Santa movie where he's actually Saint Nicholaos of Myra. Three kids run away from home and find a portal to the Council Of Nicaea in 325 AD. Then the kids watch him debate the promulgation of canon law. In the end they return home and tell their parents that presents aren't important so long as Pentecost is counted 50 days after Easter on the Roman solar calendar and not the Jewish lunar calendar.' The second: 'And the kids tell their parents the whole story and the dad is like "those kids and their imaginations." But then he sees a piece of paper in the dog's mouth and goes "whatcha got there boy? Is that... orders from the Holy See that the schismatic bishop Meletius is to remain in Lycopolis and keep his episcopal title but the ecclesiastics ordained by him must again receive the laying of hands? But...how?" And then he gazes off to the sky and you hear a light jingling of bells and then a voice over goes "Ho ho ho! The baptisms performed by the Paulian heretics are invalid! Merry Christmas!"'
December 18, 2025 at 3:02 AM
sionsweetagain.bsky.social
Mhmm
brainstatic The key to getting over imposter syndrome is to know everyone else is an imposter too. Tell yourself you deserve a stake in the scam they're all running. smitethepatriarchy Ummmm excuse me but this is fucking brilliant. drst Did you just cure imposter syndrome with... spite? jabberwockypie You can cure a LOT with spite.
October 17, 2025 at 2:03 AM
bongfurby.org
brainstatic
July 12, 2026 at 9:58 PM
feraldeer.bsky.social
i used to share MA posts a lot more but then someone i regularly gave to started subskeeting about me planning my trips to go see mcr and ghost (gifts to myself bc i genuinely almost killed myself and was hospitalized for it) instead of giving that money to her so now i'm like [brainstatic] abt it
April 14, 2026 at 10:48 PM
alchemyprime.bsky.social
Photo: anthonyhj: brainstatic: The background here: moments ago, the CEO of Blizzard forcefully condemned... http://tmblr.co/Z_1Qmw1VCd7DI
Alchemyprime's Omniblog • anthonyhj: brainstatic: The...
anthonyhj: brainstatic: The background here: mo...
tmblr.co
November 23, 2024 at 10:25 PM
pennyheartbooks.bsky.social
another imposter syndrome meme? yes, i AM doing revisions this week. why do you ask?

#romancelandia
brainstatic: The key to overcoming imposter syndrome is to know everyone else is an imposter too. Tell yourself you deserve a stake in the scam they're all running. smitethepatriarchy: Ummmm excuse me but this is f*cking brilliant drst: Did you just cure imposter syndrome with... spite? jabberwockypie: You can cure a LOT with spite.
June 12, 2026 at 7:22 PM
nholzschuch.bsky.social
The key to getting over imposter syndrome is to know everyone else is an imposter too. Tell yourself you deserve a stake in the scam they're all running.
Series of Tumblr posts. @brainstatic: The key to getting over imposter syndrome is to know everyone else is an imposter too. Tell yourself you deserve a stake in the scam they're all running. @smitethepatriarchy: Ummmm excuse me but this is fucking brilliant. @drst: Did you just cure imposter syndrome with... spite? @jabberwockypie: You can cure a LOT with spite.
September 20, 2026 at 3:47 PM
thegeorg.bsky.social
The most recent meme in your camera roll, describes your mental state.
Brainstatic says the key to getting over imposter syndrome is know everyone else is an imposter too. Tell yourself you deserve a stake in the scam they're all running. Smitethepatriarchy says umm, excuse me, but this is fucking brilliant. Drst says did you just cure imposter syndrome with spite? Jaberwockpie says you can cure a lot with spite.
April 24, 2026 at 12:48 AM
sluggishcheetah.bsky.social
@nyx-erinyes.bsky.social
Nyx Erinyes 10m • brainstatic Follow I don't care what the Founding Fathers would have wanted, I don't care if Jesus was a hippie or not, I don't care what Marx prescribed. I can't take living in a world where we're all servants of long-dead men. You know what happens if you make a law the Founding Fathers wouldn't like? Nothing, they're dead and they're never coming back. I'm genuinely envious of countries that can just make whatever laws they want without worrying about how 18th century agrarian noblemen would have seen it. Stop arguing that Jesus loved the poor too, what he loved or didn't love is irrelevant, he doesn't get a say in any of this. We could have a country that isn't shackled to these ghosts if we collectively wanted to. deerhoofandrabbitsfoot This is gorgeous.
March 16, 2025 at 11:00 PM
thatac.bsky.social
Why yes, I do have a picture in the collection to cover almost everything.
Screenshot of a social media post featuring a news headline and subsequent comments. The headline reads, "Manatee woman punched sister during fight over vibrator, deputies say." Below the headline, the post indicates it was posted and updated on Dec 10, 2014, by WFLA.com web staff. The comments section includes usernames "ghostdaddotcx," "brainstatic," and "lord-kitschener." Lord-kitschener's comment states, "Florida. On the Cracked podcast they were talking about why we get so much crazy news from Florida. Apparently most states have laws that conceal details about crimes from the media, but not Florida. In any other state they would only know that an assault occurred, but in Florida they have instant access to the crazy details. Stuff like this probably happens everywhere, but we'll never hear about it." A final comment says, "It took me longer than I'd like to admit to realize Manatee is a city name."
July 17, 2025 at 11:33 PM
xaiax.net
Re: how much gother than you Mary Shelley was.
tumblr posts brainstatic Y'all think being in a goth relationship means wearing white makeup together but Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother's grave so maybe step it up. holyfuckabear Mary Shelley carried her husband's heart around and lived in a crypt after he died. No one will ever be as goth as Mary Shelley. zoreta She also wasn't carrying around, like, a mummified heart. Her husband's heart had calcified, meaning it had grown bone within itself and possibly around itself, and it is this heart of bone which she carried. When she was young she carried it wrapped in a silk pouch, and when older it was kept in her desk, wrapped in a page from his poem Adonais. Adonais was one of his last poems, in which a deceased poet's subjects (nature, Spring, the stars) mourn him, and long to join him in death. Then the narrator tells them do not mourn, for he has gone beyond where the minds and emotions of humans matter, to the Natural Spirit that is the source of all beauty.
August 31, 2024 at 10:30 PM
landbeforetim.myatproto.social
He’s brainstatic on tumblr and he did a few viral shitposts but his low effort conservative dem political posts often went viral too because he used a lot of buzz words a lot of people didn’t really comprehend or pick up on
November 5, 2025 at 5:33 PM
sunriseflight.bsky.social
So long and thanks for all the fish.
brainstatic I once read about an aquarium that trained the dolphins to pick up any debris in the tank and give it to the trainer in exchange for fish. One dolphin started started hiding paper under a rock and then breaking off small pieces to give the trainer. She also realized that she could get fish for catching a seagull. She soon started to stockpile fish to use as seagull bait, thus creating an exponentially larger seagull problem. Then she taught the other dolphins, which made it worse. So if you ever think dolphins are cute, remember that these little assholes create capitalism of their own volition and are not to be trusted. Source: brainstatic
October 22, 2025 at 11:07 AM
wellingtonskeleton.space
Join me in remembering the two greatest Christmas Posts of all time.
Tweets read: Gerry Adams: This house is like Santa's Grotto. Takes half an hour 2 switch off fairy lights and assorted Yule illuminations. Feel like a grinch now. Eddie Izzard's Beret: Surely you know someone who can fit a timer. Tumblr post from user Brainstatic: "I want a Santa movie where he’s actually Saint Nicholaos of Myra. Three kids run away from home and find a portal to the Council Of Nicaea in 325 AD. Then the kids watch him debate the promulgation of canon law. In the end they return home and tell their parents that presents aren’t important so long as Pentecost is counted 50 days after Easter on the Roman solar calendar and not the Jewish lunar calendar. And the kids tell their parents the whole story and the dad is like “those kids and their imaginations.” But then he sees a piece of paper in the dog’s mouth and goes “whatcha got there boy? Is that…orders from the Holy See that the schismatic bishop Meletius is to remain in Lycopolis and keep his episcopal title but the ecclesiastics ordained by him must again receive the laying of hands? But…how?” And then he gazes off to the sky and you hear a light jingling of bells and then a voice over goes “Ho ho ho! The baptisms performed by the Paulian heretics are invalid! Merry Christmas!”
December 23, 2024 at 10:46 PM
geoffreycubbage.bsky.social
Time once again for this all-time
Christmas banger:
Screenshot of an old Tumblr post from user brainstatic. Text reads: I want a Santa movie where he's actually Saint Nicholaos of Myra. Three kids run away from home and find a portal to the Council Of Nicaea in 325 AD. Then the kids watch him debate the promulgation of canon law. In the end they return home and tell their parents that presents aren't important so long as Pentecost is counted 50 days after Easter on the Roman solar calendar and not the Jewish lunar calendar. And the kids tell their parents the whole story and the dad is like "those kids and their imaginations." But then he sees a piece of paper in the dog's mouth and goes "whatcha got there boy? Is that... orders from the Holy See that the schismatic bishop Meletius is to remain in Lycopolis and keep his episcopal title but the ecclesiastics ordained by him must again receive the laying of hands? But…how?" And then he gazes off to the sky and you hear a light jingling of bells and then a voice over goes "Ho ho ho! The baptisms performed by the Paulian heretics are invalid! Merry Christmas!"
December 24, 2025 at 5:11 PM
clementinedanger.bsky.social
I'm going to post this whole thing about how Mary Shelley was peak goth but only so you have enough context to know what it means when I say damn girl you so goth.
brainstatic Y'all think being in a goth relationship means wearing white makeup together but Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother's grave so maybe step it up. holyfuckabear@ Mary Shelley carried her husband's heart around and lived in a crypt after he died. No one will ever be as goth as Mary Shelley. zoreta She also wasn't carrying around, like, a mummified heart. Her husband's heart had calcified, meaning it had grown bone within itself and possibly around itself, and it is this heart of bone which she carried. When she was young she carried it wrapped in a silk pouch, and when older it was kept in her desk, wrapped in a page from his poem Adonais. Adonais was one of his last poems, in which a deceased poet's subjects (nature, Spring, the stars) mourn him, and long to join him in death. Then the narrator tells them do not mourn, for he has gone beyond where the minds and emotions of humans matter, to the Natural Spirit that is the source of all beauty. Of his poems, it is this which she wrapped his heart in. There is none. more. goth. island-delver-go It's sad to realize that peak goth was hit so long ago
April 29, 2026 at 7:14 PM
vv0ltz.neocities.org
https://www.tumblr.com/flower-crow/740803976109375488/a-little-advice-from-someone-studying-extremist?source=share
brainstatic: A little advice from someone studying extremist groups: if you’re in a social media environment where the daily ubiquitous message is that you have no hope of any kind of future and you can’t possibly achieve anything without a violent overthrow of society, you’re being radicalized, and not in the good way. embervoices: If the solution to your problems sounds like “we need a blank slate” it’s a lie. There are no blank slates, and the closest approximation people can generally imagine is “burn it all down and let God/fate/history sort it out”. That’s not problem solving. It’s barely catharsis, in practice. It doesn’t just create more problems than it solves, it destroys more solutions than it creates. Put the apocalypse down, and back away slowly. Real solutions to complex, systemic problems are not so easily reduced to “us good, them evil; kill them.” Voting as Fire Extinguisher When the haunted house catches fire: a moment of indecision. The house was, after all, built on bones, and blood, and bad intentions. Everyone who enters the house feels that overwhelming dread, the evil that perhaps only fire can purge. It’s tempting to just let it burn. And then I remember: there are children inside. —Kyle Tran Myhre.
September 5, 2024 at 3:36 PM