Chick-Fil-A Raptured https://theonion.com/chick-fil-a-raptured/
August 7, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Chick-Fil-A Raptured https://theonion.com/chick-fil-a-raptured/
Chick-Fil-A Raptured
theonion.com/chick-f...
theonion.com/chick-f...
January 29, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Chick-Fil-A Raptured
theonion.com/chick-f...
theonion.com/chick-f...
On Morning Joe, Elise Jordan complains about prices at Chick-fil-A. Of course she patronizes Chick-fil-A.
December 13, 2024 at 11:32 AM
On Morning Joe, Elise Jordan complains about prices at Chick-fil-A. Of course she patronizes Chick-fil-A.
Chick-Fil-A Announces Two Halves Of Buns Must Be Married Before Becoming Sandwich https://theonion.com/chick-fil-a-announces-two-halves-of-buns-must-be-married-before-becoming-sandwich/
March 23, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Chick-Fil-A Announces Two Halves Of Buns Must Be Married Before Becoming Sandwich https://theonion.com/chick-fil-a-announces-two-halves-of-buns-must-be-married-before-becoming-sandwich/
While providing tech support for my FIL:
FIL: What's that screen?
ME: The terminal. You should never use it.
FIL: Never?
ME: So you know how I'm allowed to watch you open the electrical panel and swap out breakers, but I'm not allowed to ever open up it myself?
FIL: Ah! I understand, thank you.
FIL: What's that screen?
ME: The terminal. You should never use it.
FIL: Never?
ME: So you know how I'm allowed to watch you open the electrical panel and swap out breakers, but I'm not allowed to ever open up it myself?
FIL: Ah! I understand, thank you.
October 11, 2025 at 1:31 AM
While providing tech support for my FIL:
FIL: What's that screen?
ME: The terminal. You should never use it.
FIL: Never?
ME: So you know how I'm allowed to watch you open the electrical panel and swap out breakers, but I'm not allowed to ever open up it myself?
FIL: Ah! I understand, thank you.
FIL: What's that screen?
ME: The terminal. You should never use it.
FIL: Never?
ME: So you know how I'm allowed to watch you open the electrical panel and swap out breakers, but I'm not allowed to ever open up it myself?
FIL: Ah! I understand, thank you.
This is what happens when you hire mediocre white men to fil quotas.
April 21, 2025 at 2:48 AM
This is what happens when you hire mediocre white men to fil quotas.
There will be a lot of conspiracies, but it may have just been Chick-Fil-A.
July 12, 2026 at 1:48 PM
There will be a lot of conspiracies, but it may have just been Chick-Fil-A.
Chick-fil-A commercials are always like “we’re nice bigots!”
October 22, 2024 at 12:07 AM
Chick-fil-A commercials are always like “we’re nice bigots!”
On the way to the Central Coast and we just came across this thing.
FIL: What is that?
Wife: Cybertruck
FIL: It looks like a trash can
Wife: It costs $100K
FIL: That's too much for a trash can
FIL: What is that?
Wife: Cybertruck
FIL: It looks like a trash can
Wife: It costs $100K
FIL: That's too much for a trash can
August 4, 2024 at 10:56 PM
On the way to the Central Coast and we just came across this thing.
FIL: What is that?
Wife: Cybertruck
FIL: It looks like a trash can
Wife: It costs $100K
FIL: That's too much for a trash can
FIL: What is that?
Wife: Cybertruck
FIL: It looks like a trash can
Wife: It costs $100K
FIL: That's too much for a trash can
MAGA is going to boycott Cracker Barrel now?
Who’s next, Chick-fil-A?
Who’s next, Chick-fil-A?
August 21, 2025 at 12:35 AM
MAGA is going to boycott Cracker Barrel now?
Who’s next, Chick-fil-A?
Who’s next, Chick-fil-A?
If you’re still eating chic fil a in 2026, I hope you get food poisoning every time.
February 17, 2026 at 6:51 PM
If you’re still eating chic fil a in 2026, I hope you get food poisoning every time.
Voir ce fil à ce sujet 13/
Jordan Bardella, en évoquant la figure de Jeanne d’Arc le 1er mai dernier, revient aux fondamentaux de l’extrême droite française. Avec tout ce que cela implique de discriminatoire. Un fil à dérouler pour expliquer cela 1/
September 28, 2026 at 6:56 AM
Voir ce fil à ce sujet 13/
Chick-Fil-A Raptured
theonion.com/chick-f...
theonion.com/chick-f...
Chick-Fil-A Raptured
ATLANTA—In a harrowing fulfillment of biblical prophecy that left customers screaming as their fast food orders disappeared before their eyes, panicked sources reported Tuesday that every Chick-fil-A store had been raptured. The massive heavenly event began at 12:02 p.m. EST when a large burst of God’s divine light shot down from the clouds and slowly […]
theonion.com
February 1, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Chick-Fil-A Raptured
theonion.com/chick-f...
theonion.com/chick-f...
hello I am the CEO of the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl. do i decide which teams are in the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl? no. do i negotiate the broadcast contract for the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl? Also no. Do I have to figure out where they will play the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl? Not really. My salary is $800,000
January 10, 2026 at 12:48 AM
hello I am the CEO of the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl. do i decide which teams are in the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl? no. do i negotiate the broadcast contract for the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl? Also no. Do I have to figure out where they will play the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl? Not really. My salary is $800,000
Some filler is good shit, actually
aftermath.site/good-anime-fil...
aftermath.site/good-anime-fil...
May 13, 2026 at 2:12 PM
Some filler is good shit, actually
aftermath.site/good-anime-fil...
aftermath.site/good-anime-fil...
Encore un fil passionnant et salutaire de @hmedievaliste.bsky.social
Bon, j’ai regardé le spectacle « historique » donné au Stade de France à l’occasion de la visite du pape. Réaction et analyse d’un show qui développe une vision fantasmée et délirante de l’histoire de France et du catholicisme 1/
September 28, 2026 at 7:41 AM
Encore un fil passionnant et salutaire de @hmedievaliste.bsky.social
“Truth Social had just $3.6 million in revenue in 2024 … less revenue than the average Chik-Fil-A, Raising Canes, What-a-Burger, or Shake Shack location.”
Truth Social stock also in the tank. Lost $400 million last year. Read this from @russchoma.bsky.social www.motherjones.com/politics/202...
If you think Tesla's stock is bad, check out Trump's Truth Social
The president's stake is worth billions of dollars less than last fall.
www.motherjones.com
March 12, 2025 at 12:56 AM
“Truth Social had just $3.6 million in revenue in 2024 … less revenue than the average Chik-Fil-A, Raising Canes, What-a-Burger, or Shake Shack location.”
February 23, 2026 at 10:46 PM
Trump’s fake Chick-fil-A customer is at the White House today
February 20, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Trump’s fake Chick-fil-A customer is at the White House today
remember yall, chick fil a is the harry potter of restaurants
March 29, 2026 at 7:37 PM
remember yall, chick fil a is the harry potter of restaurants
C’est parti pour le fil des résultats financiers de Nintendo.
February 4, 2025 at 6:52 AM
C’est parti pour le fil des résultats financiers de Nintendo.
Man In Deserted Chick-fil-A Parking Lot Forgets It's Sunday. Thinks He Missed Rapture
August 22, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Man In Deserted Chick-fil-A Parking Lot Forgets It's Sunday. Thinks He Missed Rapture
Adam Rubenstein when asked about the Chick-fil-A sandwich story
October 7, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Adam Rubenstein when asked about the Chick-fil-A sandwich story
I'm going to open a food truck that sells chicken sandwiches and park it right beside Chick-fil-A.
We're only open on Sundays and we're calling it Side-Chick!
We're only open on Sundays and we're calling it Side-Chick!
March 21, 2026 at 12:22 PM
I'm going to open a food truck that sells chicken sandwiches and park it right beside Chick-fil-A.
We're only open on Sundays and we're calling it Side-Chick!
We're only open on Sundays and we're calling it Side-Chick!