"Pawll, I read on Capstone Report that Cam Newton's father's church is actually a mosque. Jes' tellin' you what I heard." #finebaumpreview

"Pawll, if Bama's unpaid players beat Auburn's paid players this year, that oughta count as another national title." #finebaumpreview

Charles from Reeltown calls from Starkville, vows to kill one MSU student every 30 minutes until Newton is cleared. #finebaumpreview

"If Saban's so distracted he can't even beat LSU, he oughta just take the dang Cowboys job! IT'S A DISGRACE, PAWWLLL!" #finebaumpreview

"Who would I hire? Chip Kelly. Chris Peterson. JIM HARRBOWWW, PAWWLLL. Any one a them'd leave for Tuscaloosa in a second." #finebaumpreview