Me when my parents rented DEEP IMPACT from Blockbuster
October 5, 2026 at 10:38 PM
Me when my parents rented DEEP IMPACT from Blockbuster
Woman Suddenly Realizes She Same Age Parents Were When They Were Her Age https://theonion.com/woman-suddenly-realizes-she-same-age-parents-were-when-1846849593/
October 8, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Woman Suddenly Realizes She Same Age Parents Were When They Were Her Age https://theonion.com/woman-suddenly-realizes-she-same-age-parents-were-when-1846849593/
Parents Parents
2026 BCE 2026 CE
🤝
"These kids and
their damned tablets"
2026 BCE 2026 CE
🤝
"These kids and
their damned tablets"
August 6, 2026 at 11:56 PM
Parents Parents
2026 BCE 2026 CE
🤝
"These kids and
their damned tablets"
2026 BCE 2026 CE
🤝
"These kids and
their damned tablets"
Please stop posting these ICE agents without their parents' consent.
March 25, 2026 at 10:25 PM
Please stop posting these ICE agents without their parents' consent.
ICE is now separating children from their parents in the nation’s interior and deeming them “unaccompanied.”
www.motherjones.com/politics/202...
www.motherjones.com/politics/202...
“You kidnapped my son”
ICE is now separating children from their parents and deeming them “unaccompanied.”
www.motherjones.com
October 5, 2026 at 6:48 PM
ICE is now separating children from their parents in the nation’s interior and deeming them “unaccompanied.”
www.motherjones.com/politics/202...
www.motherjones.com/politics/202...
Parents Gently Explain To Child That Their Money In Heaven Now theonion.com/parents...
May 5, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Parents Gently Explain To Child That Their Money In Heaven Now theonion.com/parents...
More Parents Say Allowing Child To Play Football Not Worth Risk Of Being Drafted By Jets
theonion.com/more-parents...
theonion.com/more-parents...
December 10, 2024 at 8:33 PM
More Parents Say Allowing Child To Play Football Not Worth Risk Of Being Drafted By Jets
theonion.com/more-parents...
theonion.com/more-parents...
I’m so grateful to have parents who made sure I got vaccinated.
March 11, 2025 at 6:21 PM
I’m so grateful to have parents who made sure I got vaccinated.
Alina Habba’s parents emigrated to the US from Iraq citing persecution.
November 30, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Alina Habba’s parents emigrated to the US from Iraq citing persecution.
Unsupportive Parents Eat Crow After Son Makes It As Beetlejuice Impersonator https://theonion.com/unsupportive-parents-eat-crow-after-son-makes-it-as-beetlejuice-impersonator/
October 2, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Unsupportive Parents Eat Crow After Son Makes It As Beetlejuice Impersonator https://theonion.com/unsupportive-parents-eat-crow-after-son-makes-it-as-beetlejuice-impersonator/
Parents Completely Jacked 3 Months Into Retirement
December 2, 2024 at 5:05 PM
Parents Completely Jacked 3 Months Into Retirement
Rich Parents Fill Easter Eggs With Gas
April 5, 2026 at 1:00 PM
Rich Parents Fill Easter Eggs With Gas
“My parents died so fuck yours too,” is quite the argument against reasonable healthcare
August 26, 2026 at 5:06 PM
“My parents died so fuck yours too,” is quite the argument against reasonable healthcare
Parents Gently Explain To Child That Their Money In Heaven Now
Parents Gently Explain To Child That Their Money In Heaven Now
HUNTSVILLE, AL—In an effort to comfort the child by telling her the funds had gone to a far better place, local parents Blake and Allison McKee gently explained to their daughter Friday that their mon...
theonion.com
April 4, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Parents Gently Explain To Child That Their Money In Heaven Now
KLOBUCHAR: Alex Pretti's parents said what you said was one of the most hurtful things they could imagine. Do you want to say anything to Alex's parents?
NOEM: I did not call him a 'domestic terrorist.' I said it 'appeared to be an incident of'
KLOBUCHAR: I think the parents saw it for what it was
NOEM: I did not call him a 'domestic terrorist.' I said it 'appeared to be an incident of'
KLOBUCHAR: I think the parents saw it for what it was
March 3, 2026 at 3:41 PM
KLOBUCHAR: Alex Pretti's parents said what you said was one of the most hurtful things they could imagine. Do you want to say anything to Alex's parents?
NOEM: I did not call him a 'domestic terrorist.' I said it 'appeared to be an incident of'
KLOBUCHAR: I think the parents saw it for what it was
NOEM: I did not call him a 'domestic terrorist.' I said it 'appeared to be an incident of'
KLOBUCHAR: I think the parents saw it for what it was
Marco Rubio declared that under the Constitution being born in the USA does not make you a citizen unless your parents are citizens.
Marco Rubio's parents were Cuban immigrants who were NOT citizens at the time of his birth.
Do you think Marco will now self-deport?
Marco Rubio's parents were Cuban immigrants who were NOT citizens at the time of his birth.
Do you think Marco will now self-deport?
April 2, 2026 at 11:31 AM
Marco Rubio declared that under the Constitution being born in the USA does not make you a citizen unless your parents are citizens.
Marco Rubio's parents were Cuban immigrants who were NOT citizens at the time of his birth.
Do you think Marco will now self-deport?
Marco Rubio's parents were Cuban immigrants who were NOT citizens at the time of his birth.
Do you think Marco will now self-deport?
Parents, what would you do with four hours of child-free time?
We launched a Parents’ Night Out program with NYC Parks to give NYC parents a little time back for themselves, because we’re committed to making it easier to raise a family in the greatest city in the world.
We launched a Parents’ Night Out program with NYC Parks to give NYC parents a little time back for themselves, because we’re committed to making it easier to raise a family in the greatest city in the world.
August 19, 2026 at 4:27 PM
Parents, what would you do with four hours of child-free time?
We launched a Parents’ Night Out program with NYC Parks to give NYC parents a little time back for themselves, because we’re committed to making it easier to raise a family in the greatest city in the world.
We launched a Parents’ Night Out program with NYC Parks to give NYC parents a little time back for themselves, because we’re committed to making it easier to raise a family in the greatest city in the world.
Imagine being FURIOUS that parents might get access to free childcare.
June 27, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Imagine being FURIOUS that parents might get access to free childcare.
If Christian Nationalist parents are allowed to have their kids opt-out of any books that dare mention anyone gay, then all the other parents should be allowed to let their kids opt-out from the Ten Commandments.
June 28, 2025 at 12:18 PM
If Christian Nationalist parents are allowed to have their kids opt-out of any books that dare mention anyone gay, then all the other parents should be allowed to let their kids opt-out from the Ten Commandments.
>parents split up
>theyre not looking for clues
>theyre not looking for clues
July 5, 2026 at 3:48 PM
>parents split up
>theyre not looking for clues
>theyre not looking for clues
Trump: "I've done more for you than your parents, okay? Your parents are okay. I'm not gonna knock to your parents, but I have been better to you than your parents."
July 27, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Trump: "I've done more for you than your parents, okay? Your parents are okay. I'm not gonna knock to your parents, but I have been better to you than your parents."
lol come the fuck on
August 17, 2026 at 2:31 PM
lol come the fuck on
His parents and grandparents should be proud.
April 23, 2025 at 3:27 PM
His parents and grandparents should be proud.
Parents Worried Children Old Enough To Remember Family Vacation https://theonion.com/parents-worried-children-old-enough-to-remember-family-1819577846/
May 16, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Parents Worried Children Old Enough To Remember Family Vacation https://theonion.com/parents-worried-children-old-enough-to-remember-family-1819577846/