“When did I do that?”
“Explain that to me?”
“Give me one example?”
“So you have actual proof?”
Abuser favorites
#perpetrator101
“Explain that to me?”
“Give me one example?”
“So you have actual proof?”
Abuser favorites
#perpetrator101
August 11, 2026 at 7:29 PM
“When did I do that?”
“Explain that to me?”
“Give me one example?”
“So you have actual proof?”
Abuser favorites
#perpetrator101
“Explain that to me?”
“Give me one example?”
“So you have actual proof?”
Abuser favorites
#perpetrator101
Some of perpetrator’s favorite sayings:
“It’s just a joke.”
“I was joking!”
“Can’t you take a joke.”
“You have no sense of humor.”
“You’re so sensitive - it was a joke.”
#perpetrator101
“It’s just a joke.”
“I was joking!”
“Can’t you take a joke.”
“You have no sense of humor.”
“You’re so sensitive - it was a joke.”
#perpetrator101
June 19, 2026 at 1:57 PM
Some of perpetrator’s favorite sayings:
“It’s just a joke.”
“I was joking!”
“Can’t you take a joke.”
“You have no sense of humor.”
“You’re so sensitive - it was a joke.”
#perpetrator101
“It’s just a joke.”
“I was joking!”
“Can’t you take a joke.”
“You have no sense of humor.”
“You’re so sensitive - it was a joke.”
#perpetrator101
Superiority is a hallmark sign of an abuser. Someone that thinks they know better than you about everything and thinks they are helping you 🚩
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
May 21, 2026 at 8:56 PM
Superiority is a hallmark sign of an abuser. Someone that thinks they know better than you about everything and thinks they are helping you 🚩
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
Why do 93% of abusers claim to be religious? Why do perpetrators suddenly ‘find god’ after their abuse is exposed? 👇
#perpetrator101 #childabusepreventionmonth
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#perpetrator101 #childabusepreventionmonth
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
When Faith Is Used to Hurt: How Child Abusers Use Religion to Harm Children
Perpetrators will use a child's faith to abuse them and manipulate you. Here's how you can truly support survivors.
open.substack.com
April 25, 2026 at 7:32 AM
Why do 93% of abusers claim to be religious? Why do perpetrators suddenly ‘find god’ after their abuse is exposed? 👇
#perpetrator101 #childabusepreventionmonth
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#perpetrator101 #childabusepreventionmonth
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Biggest gift for an abuser are the ‘defenders’. The abuser doesn’t have to do anything but sit back and watch the show while others do the abusing for them.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
March 22, 2026 at 3:58 PM
Biggest gift for an abuser are the ‘defenders’. The abuser doesn’t have to do anything but sit back and watch the show while others do the abusing for them.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
The correct spelling for TDS is DARVO
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
March 19, 2026 at 9:54 PM
The correct spelling for TDS is DARVO
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
“Oh poor me” the universal mantra of an abuser.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
March 18, 2026 at 9:43 PM
“Oh poor me” the universal mantra of an abuser.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
When you give an abuser power, don’t be shocked when they use it to be cruel.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
March 12, 2026 at 3:39 PM
When you give an abuser power, don’t be shocked when they use it to be cruel.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
“They were always nice to me” watch to see what that tells us about the perpetrator and the person saying that.
#perpetrator101 #believesurvivors
youtube.com/shorts/P8H16...
#perpetrator101 #believesurvivors
youtube.com/shorts/P8H16...
“But They Were Nice to Me…” – How to Respond
In this short, I explain what people saying “that’s not the person i know” really tells us about the perpetrator.
Read more about dismantling victim-blaming and common defense tactics on Substack:
👉 ...
youtube.com
March 4, 2026 at 1:29 AM
“They were always nice to me” watch to see what that tells us about the perpetrator and the person saying that.
#perpetrator101 #believesurvivors
youtube.com/shorts/P8H16...
#perpetrator101 #believesurvivors
youtube.com/shorts/P8H16...
Daily reminder: Whatever you’ve been told a perpetrator has done is probably only a very small fraction of what they’ve actually done.
#perpetrator101 #listentosurvivors
#perpetrator101 #listentosurvivors
February 14, 2026 at 4:13 PM
Daily reminder: Whatever you’ve been told a perpetrator has done is probably only a very small fraction of what they’ve actually done.
#perpetrator101 #listentosurvivors
#perpetrator101 #listentosurvivors
You can’t explain to a perpetrator that what they’re doing is wrong - because they already know it. They are not just choosing to do it, but they’re enjoying it.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
January 28, 2026 at 8:48 PM
You can’t explain to a perpetrator that what they’re doing is wrong - because they already know it. They are not just choosing to do it, but they’re enjoying it.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
Calling out an abuser for ‘breaking the rules’ doesn’t work because the abuser makes the rules and changes them at will. Because it was never about the rules - it is always about control.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
January 28, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Calling out an abuser for ‘breaking the rules’ doesn’t work because the abuser makes the rules and changes them at will. Because it was never about the rules - it is always about control.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
The worst place to be when you’re sick is with an abuser. They will put on a show when anyone is looking and turn your sickness into their ‘oh poor me’ story. If children are involved it becomes a chance for them to have complete power and control.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
January 6, 2026 at 4:00 PM
The worst place to be when you’re sick is with an abuser. They will put on a show when anyone is looking and turn your sickness into their ‘oh poor me’ story. If children are involved it becomes a chance for them to have complete power and control.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
Daily reminder: Abusers know they are above the law because they know no one will do anything about it.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
January 3, 2026 at 11:54 PM
Daily reminder: Abusers know they are above the law because they know no one will do anything about it.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
Daily reminder: Whatever you’ve been told a perpetrator has done is probably only a small fraction of what they’ve actually done.
#perpetrator101 #listentosurvivors
#perpetrator101 #listentosurvivors
December 21, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Daily reminder: Whatever you’ve been told a perpetrator has done is probably only a small fraction of what they’ve actually done.
#perpetrator101 #listentosurvivors
#perpetrator101 #listentosurvivors
Perpetrators observe what other abusers do, say, and get away with, and use it as a training manual. Right now those manuals are filling up quickly.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
December 12, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Perpetrators observe what other abusers do, say, and get away with, and use it as a training manual. Right now those manuals are filling up quickly.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
When an abuser says “I love you” what they mean is they love controlling you.
#perpetrator101 #abuseisnotlove
#perpetrator101 #abuseisnotlove
November 26, 2025 at 8:20 PM
When an abuser says “I love you” what they mean is they love controlling you.
#perpetrator101 #abuseisnotlove
#perpetrator101 #abuseisnotlove
Victims become the villain in every abuser’s hero story.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
November 24, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Victims become the villain in every abuser’s hero story.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
Whenever a perpetrator releases something they’ve previously kept hidden you know they now feel confident that what they needed to erase and cover up is erased and covered up.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
November 17, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Whenever a perpetrator releases something they’ve previously kept hidden you know they now feel confident that what they needed to erase and cover up is erased and covered up.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
Perpetrators are creative storytellers that can manipulate everything for them to be the victim and hero.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
October 25, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Perpetrators are creative storytellers that can manipulate everything for them to be the victim and hero.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
We need to stop excusing the heinous actions of perpetrators with ‘hurt people, hurt people’ and instead realize that cruel people enjoy being cruel.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
October 4, 2025 at 12:49 PM
We need to stop excusing the heinous actions of perpetrators with ‘hurt people, hurt people’ and instead realize that cruel people enjoy being cruel.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
Abusers twist everything to their advantage. We watch it happen daily.
#perpetrator101
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#perpetrator101
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Defend Survivors Furious Friday | One Person Harmed, One Person Chose to Harm 🔥
Quote Of The Day | August 29th, 2025
open.substack.com
August 29, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Abusers twist everything to their advantage. We watch it happen daily.
#perpetrator101
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
#perpetrator101
open.substack.com/pub/defendsu...
Please stop laughing at abusive inappropriate “jokes’ made at someone’s expense. Show the person the joke is directed at that it’s not funny and you’ll stand up to their abuser and say that.
#notfunny #itsabuse #perpetrator101
#notfunny #itsabuse #perpetrator101
July 5, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Please stop laughing at abusive inappropriate “jokes’ made at someone’s expense. Show the person the joke is directed at that it’s not funny and you’ll stand up to their abuser and say that.
#notfunny #itsabuse #perpetrator101
#notfunny #itsabuse #perpetrator101
Daily reminder: Many perpetrators will donate to causes, be on boards or even run non profits, and be on your ‘prevention’ teams. They are skilled manipulators.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
June 24, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Daily reminder: Many perpetrators will donate to causes, be on boards or even run non profits, and be on your ‘prevention’ teams. They are skilled manipulators.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
Daily reminder: Whatever you’ve been told a perpetrator has done is probably only a small fraction of what they’ve actually done.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101
June 9, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Daily reminder: Whatever you’ve been told a perpetrator has done is probably only a small fraction of what they’ve actually done.
#perpetrator101
#perpetrator101