#petalsgloomyclouds This should go there.
I genuinely wish I could support myself via creating things and whatnot, but with how things work nowadays, you need a certain momentum and my health just can't abide by that. I'm burnt out more often than not, be it due to migraines or AuDHD. I'm perpetually exhausted. I hate it.
May 27, 2026 at 3:15 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds This should go there.
#petalsgloomyclouds When you have friends also going through it ( the rejection sensitivity ) and you all speak about your vampiric 'tism... hell yeah brother.
January 17, 2025 at 11:11 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds When you have friends also going through it ( the rejection sensitivity ) and you all speak about your vampiric 'tism... hell yeah brother.
#petalsgloomyclouds Depression has been severe again, possibly in conjunction with burnout due to many factors. Seems this month was fucking perpetual exhaustion.
Once even loved ones begin to annoy me, I know that the depression has reached severe levels again.
Once even loved ones begin to annoy me, I know that the depression has reached severe levels again.
August 26, 2026 at 3:25 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds Depression has been severe again, possibly in conjunction with burnout due to many factors. Seems this month was fucking perpetual exhaustion.
Once even loved ones begin to annoy me, I know that the depression has reached severe levels again.
Once even loved ones begin to annoy me, I know that the depression has reached severe levels again.
#petalsgloomyclouds Then again, once my RSD starts kicking in full swing, it's also a sign of that. Given how this month has been, and how summer has been in tandem with my health... I shouldn't be surprised my depression is biting HARD.
August 26, 2026 at 3:32 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds Then again, once my RSD starts kicking in full swing, it's also a sign of that. Given how this month has been, and how summer has been in tandem with my health... I shouldn't be surprised my depression is biting HARD.
#petalsgloomyclouds Body has been in so much discomfort today. Had anxiety attacks over my baby, panicked, cried, got angry at the lack of help there is unless you have tons of moola on hand-- I'm exhausted.
April 26, 2025 at 1:53 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds Body has been in so much discomfort today. Had anxiety attacks over my baby, panicked, cried, got angry at the lack of help there is unless you have tons of moola on hand-- I'm exhausted.
#petalsgloomyclouds + Many years ago, I thought I'd end everything when his came to an end. But here I am, still walking. Because instead, he nourished my heart and soul, and I'm his human -- his mama. That, above anything else, keeps me going. +
June 18, 2025 at 12:27 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds + Many years ago, I thought I'd end everything when his came to an end. But here I am, still walking. Because instead, he nourished my heart and soul, and I'm his human -- his mama. That, above anything else, keeps me going. +
#petalsgloomyclouds And I feel like I'm so behind. I really do. Fucking behind in everything. And then, when I'm on a roll, I hit a wall ( migraine, health ) and then I'm back in the depression slumps and AuDHD struggling, where I can't do shit. I'm constantly battling with executive dysfunction.
May 27, 2026 at 3:15 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds And I feel like I'm so behind. I really do. Fucking behind in everything. And then, when I'm on a roll, I hit a wall ( migraine, health ) and then I'm back in the depression slumps and AuDHD struggling, where I can't do shit. I'm constantly battling with executive dysfunction.
#petalsgloomyclouds + So I do have moments and times where it's not strong and I'm very much "Whao, I actually exist!" and I know it may sound silly, but... that's how I've always been since I can remember. That being said, I've been... struggling, since Jigu's passing. +
June 18, 2025 at 12:27 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds + So I do have moments and times where it's not strong and I'm very much "Whao, I actually exist!" and I know it may sound silly, but... that's how I've always been since I can remember. That being said, I've been... struggling, since Jigu's passing. +
#petalsgloomyclouds My depression, in a way, has always been 'severe' -- and living in a pretty constant state of dissociation, where I've even had to tell friends that no, depersonalization / derealization is basically my constant state. I'm more 'out' of the world than I ever am 'in' it. +
June 18, 2025 at 12:27 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds My depression, in a way, has always been 'severe' -- and living in a pretty constant state of dissociation, where I've even had to tell friends that no, depersonalization / derealization is basically my constant state. I'm more 'out' of the world than I ever am 'in' it. +
#petalsgloomyclouds It's honestly been difficult to do anything. I haven't drawn all month, I barely scraped by with a monthly Nea... I'm just... spent. Depression has been hitting hard, and well-- each time I draw I'm met with my own frustration. Hyper aware of my face blindness issues.
March 31, 2025 at 12:56 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds It's honestly been difficult to do anything. I haven't drawn all month, I barely scraped by with a monthly Nea... I'm just... spent. Depression has been hitting hard, and well-- each time I draw I'm met with my own frustration. Hyper aware of my face blindness issues.
#petalsgloomyclouds + No one, absolutely NO ONE can replace him or his importance in my life and heart.
I couldn't ever imagine my life without him around.
I know I've got to be strong, but I'm allowed my moments of weakness where I can cry and grieve.
I miss my Jigu, my Jiggy, Jiggaligs.
I couldn't ever imagine my life without him around.
I know I've got to be strong, but I'm allowed my moments of weakness where I can cry and grieve.
I miss my Jigu, my Jiggy, Jiggaligs.
June 18, 2025 at 12:27 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds + No one, absolutely NO ONE can replace him or his importance in my life and heart.
I couldn't ever imagine my life without him around.
I know I've got to be strong, but I'm allowed my moments of weakness where I can cry and grieve.
I miss my Jigu, my Jiggy, Jiggaligs.
I couldn't ever imagine my life without him around.
I know I've got to be strong, but I'm allowed my moments of weakness where I can cry and grieve.
I miss my Jigu, my Jiggy, Jiggaligs.
#petalsgloomyclouds + Granted, I have a lot to keep me going, too, but I can't help but wake and go to sleep every day, thinking, "I wish Jigu was here to experience this with me" -- and my heart breaks all over again. He's always been THE most important being in my heart and life. My number 1. +
June 18, 2025 at 12:27 AM
#petalsgloomyclouds + Granted, I have a lot to keep me going, too, but I can't help but wake and go to sleep every day, thinking, "I wish Jigu was here to experience this with me" -- and my heart breaks all over again. He's always been THE most important being in my heart and life. My number 1. +
#petalsgloomyclouds I guess I'll place this here but man. Very much having one of those "what's the point?" moods. With how things were great on twt and then bam, acc issues because ~oh you MUST be a BOT~, then on here it's also hard to get noticed unless you actively go into hashtags, etc...
August 13, 2026 at 2:14 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds I guess I'll place this here but man. Very much having one of those "what's the point?" moods. With how things were great on twt and then bam, acc issues because ~oh you MUST be a BOT~, then on here it's also hard to get noticed unless you actively go into hashtags, etc...
#petalsgloomyclouds Sometimes I really just want to seclude and isolate, because it seems interacting even with those I cherish exhausts me at times.
Even in my own home, I end up being the therapist, the psychiatrist. I'm so bloody exhausted.
/gen.
Even in my own home, I end up being the therapist, the psychiatrist. I'm so bloody exhausted.
/gen.
May 19, 2026 at 7:33 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds Sometimes I really just want to seclude and isolate, because it seems interacting even with those I cherish exhausts me at times.
Even in my own home, I end up being the therapist, the psychiatrist. I'm so bloody exhausted.
/gen.
Even in my own home, I end up being the therapist, the psychiatrist. I'm so bloody exhausted.
/gen.
#petalsgloomyclouds [Placing this in here since it's mental health related] Sometimes I think about things loved ones have said before, and I simply wish we would've brought up how RSD affects us, too. So it's not always anxieties, it's not even insecurities, it's just the 'tism 'tisming, lol.
May 11, 2026 at 10:18 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds [Placing this in here since it's mental health related] Sometimes I think about things loved ones have said before, and I simply wish we would've brought up how RSD affects us, too. So it's not always anxieties, it's not even insecurities, it's just the 'tism 'tisming, lol.
#petalsgloomyclouds It's kind of depressing when you have to tell your mother that your whimsy and spark was basically killed many years ago by a family member's very harsh words + my health having issues thereafter, which only cemented it and made it worse.
April 10, 2026 at 8:14 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds It's kind of depressing when you have to tell your mother that your whimsy and spark was basically killed many years ago by a family member's very harsh words + my health having issues thereafter, which only cemented it and made it worse.
March 9, 2026 at 9:08 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds Don't even get me started on how this April makes it 1 year since.
As time marches forward, the pain only worsens.
As time marches forward, the pain only worsens.
February 24, 2026 at 7:13 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds Don't even get me started on how this April makes it 1 year since.
As time marches forward, the pain only worsens.
As time marches forward, the pain only worsens.
#petalsgloomyclouds Every waking moment it's excruciatingly obvious that my daily life is lacking his gremlin behaviour. I adore my girls, I know they miss him, too. He was the glue that kept me together. He was my sunlight that kept me happy and made life vibrant.
February 24, 2026 at 7:07 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds Every waking moment it's excruciatingly obvious that my daily life is lacking his gremlin behaviour. I adore my girls, I know they miss him, too. He was the glue that kept me together. He was my sunlight that kept me happy and made life vibrant.
#petalsgloomyclouds I do my best to be okay. I do my best, and I keep trying. But I assure you, there's not a day that goes by where I'm not breaking down over the fact that my baby boy isn't pawing at my face, meowing demands, or 'claiming' my arm while I type or draw ( aka laying on my arm ).
February 24, 2026 at 7:07 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds I do my best to be okay. I do my best, and I keep trying. But I assure you, there's not a day that goes by where I'm not breaking down over the fact that my baby boy isn't pawing at my face, meowing demands, or 'claiming' my arm while I type or draw ( aka laying on my arm ).
#petalsgloomyclouds The reason I wanted to even try to get anywhere in life so that I could give my precious floof all the good things. I thought I'd be in my 40's with him as a scraggly old coot at my side. I didn't think it'd be sudden.
February 24, 2026 at 6:55 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds The reason I wanted to even try to get anywhere in life so that I could give my precious floof all the good things. I thought I'd be in my 40's with him as a scraggly old coot at my side. I didn't think it'd be sudden.
#petalsgloomyclouds And. Sometimes. I really feel like I'm one move away from simply making an attempt at ending it all, as dark as that sound. Because I truly don't know what I am without my precious son at my side. The reason I'd get out of bed. The reason I got through hardships in health.
February 24, 2026 at 6:55 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds And. Sometimes. I really feel like I'm one move away from simply making an attempt at ending it all, as dark as that sound. Because I truly don't know what I am without my precious son at my side. The reason I'd get out of bed. The reason I got through hardships in health.
#petalsgloomyclouds I don't know what to do without him. I've had him since I was nearly 17. He's been with me while my health was at my lowest.
I miss him more than anything.
I miss him more than anything.
February 24, 2026 at 6:53 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds I don't know what to do without him. I've had him since I was nearly 17. He's been with me while my health was at my lowest.
I miss him more than anything.
I miss him more than anything.
#petalsgloomyclouds He really was and still is my pillar, my rock, my sun. I keep replaying his last moments in my mind, when he was put to sleep and then given the dosage to cease his heartbeat.
The wounds in my heart and soul can't be mended. That left a permanent gash.
The wounds in my heart and soul can't be mended. That left a permanent gash.
February 24, 2026 at 6:51 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds He really was and still is my pillar, my rock, my sun. I keep replaying his last moments in my mind, when he was put to sleep and then given the dosage to cease his heartbeat.
The wounds in my heart and soul can't be mended. That left a permanent gash.
The wounds in my heart and soul can't be mended. That left a permanent gash.
#petalsgloomyclouds I miss Jigu. I cried about him a lot last night and today I'm in the depression slumps. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I feel lost. I feel like I want to crawl into my clamshell and disappear. Without Jigu, I feel like I've got no purpose.
February 24, 2026 at 6:51 PM
#petalsgloomyclouds I miss Jigu. I cried about him a lot last night and today I'm in the depression slumps. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I feel lost. I feel like I want to crawl into my clamshell and disappear. Without Jigu, I feel like I've got no purpose.