oh, is gold valuable, mr. president? i'll tell the phoenicians
August 7, 2026 at 7:44 PM
oh, is gold valuable, mr. president? i'll tell the phoenicians
You'd think that except one day it turns out your consuls ate the Phoenicians.
My patrician told me Phoenicians keep eating his consuls so I asked how many consuls he has and he said he just goes to Fields of Mars and has a dictator for elections send him a suffect consul afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding consuls to Phoenicians and then Two started crying.
September 23, 2026 at 11:25 PM
You'd think that except one day it turns out your consuls ate the Phoenicians.
If you can read this post, thank the Phoenicians.
March 17, 2025 at 11:37 PM
If you can read this post, thank the Phoenicians.
My patrician told me Phoenicians keep eating his consuls so I asked how many consuls he has and he said he just goes to Fields of Mars and has a dictator for elections send him a suffect consul afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding consuls to Phoenicians and then Two started crying.
September 23, 2026 at 11:20 PM
My patrician told me Phoenicians keep eating his consuls so I asked how many consuls he has and he said he just goes to Fields of Mars and has a dictator for elections send him a suffect consul afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding consuls to Phoenicians and then Two started crying.
New Tides of History: How the Phoenicians, Greeks, and their trading partners remade the economy of the Iron Age Mediterranean. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...
The Phoenicians, the Greeks, and the Iron Age Mediterranean
Podcast Episode · Tides of History · 11/13/2025 · 38m
podcasts.apple.com
November 20, 2025 at 5:34 PM
New Tides of History: How the Phoenicians, Greeks, and their trading partners remade the economy of the Iron Age Mediterranean. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...
Sneaky god damn Phoenicians.
September 26, 2024 at 7:15 PM
Sneaky god damn Phoenicians.
Gonna go with, "So was [Cleopatra, the Romans, the Greeks, the Spartans, the Phoenicians, Octavian, Aeneas somehow, Cyrus II *somehow*] white?"
You may submit as many variants as you like, they're all bad.
You may submit as many variants as you like, they're all bad.
What’s the worst question someone can ask after you tell them your profession? For linguists, it’s definitely “how many languages do you speak?”, but I’m curious what else is happening to the rest of y’all out there?!
December 2, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Gonna go with, "So was [Cleopatra, the Romans, the Greeks, the Spartans, the Phoenicians, Octavian, Aeneas somehow, Cyrus II *somehow*] white?"
You may submit as many variants as you like, they're all bad.
You may submit as many variants as you like, they're all bad.
November 10, 2024 at 5:17 PM
You expect Phoenicians to care about drought in the Mountain West?
September 7, 2026 at 3:30 PM
You expect Phoenicians to care about drought in the Mountain West?
Odysseus: Wait ... are WE the Sea People?!
Me, being pedantic in the theater: Well, actually, there is strong evidence that the Sea People were the Phoenicians, later known as the Punic, who settled in North Africa and fought the Romans for centuries.
Me, being pedantic in the theater: Well, actually, there is strong evidence that the Sea People were the Phoenicians, later known as the Punic, who settled in North Africa and fought the Romans for centuries.
July 21, 2026 at 12:11 AM
Odysseus: Wait ... are WE the Sea People?!
Me, being pedantic in the theater: Well, actually, there is strong evidence that the Sea People were the Phoenicians, later known as the Punic, who settled in North Africa and fought the Romans for centuries.
Me, being pedantic in the theater: Well, actually, there is strong evidence that the Sea People were the Phoenicians, later known as the Punic, who settled in North Africa and fought the Romans for centuries.
"Actually, people from Phoenix are technically Phoenicians"
December 10, 2024 at 9:52 AM
"Actually, people from Phoenix are technically Phoenicians"
📰 'First Bronze Age settlement in Maghreb predates Phoenicians'
#AntiquityResearch in the news via @archaeologynews.bsky.social
archaeologymag.com/2025/03/firs...
#AntiquityResearch in the news via @archaeologynews.bsky.social
archaeologymag.com/2025/03/firs...
First Bronze Age settlement in Maghreb predates Phoenicians
A 2200 BCE settlement at Kach Kouch challenges the belief that the Maghreb was uninhabited before the Phoenicians.
archaeologymag.com
March 12, 2025 at 10:35 AM
📰 'First Bronze Age settlement in Maghreb predates Phoenicians'
#AntiquityResearch in the news via @archaeologynews.bsky.social
archaeologymag.com/2025/03/firs...
#AntiquityResearch in the news via @archaeologynews.bsky.social
archaeologymag.com/2025/03/firs...
Phoenicians would rather eat a raw onion like an apple than go to therapy
July 17, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Phoenicians would rather eat a raw onion like an apple than go to therapy
*phoenicians disruptors flooding the market with alphabets*
September 26, 2026 at 2:51 PM
*phoenicians disruptors flooding the market with alphabets*
they both stole the letter M from the Phoenicians
I’m not looking it up, I just want to watch people fight about it like scorpions in a bag:
Did Missouri steal Michigan’s block M, or the other way around?
Did Missouri steal Michigan’s block M, or the other way around?
September 12, 2026 at 3:46 AM
they both stole the letter M from the Phoenicians
Phoenicians today, in class and on tie.
With thanks always to Helen Dixon
With thanks always to Helen Dixon
September 14, 2026 at 1:40 PM
Phoenicians today, in class and on tie.
With thanks always to Helen Dixon
With thanks always to Helen Dixon
Respect @theonion.com & @timheidecker.bsky.social for bringing much needed illumination to the Phoenicians infiltrating hell with their 'Big Word' agenda/CULT.
We are not a monolith.
We are dealing with this matter INTERNALLY & don't appreciate the Demon-phobia & criticism.
#TheOnion #InfoWars
We are not a monolith.
We are dealing with this matter INTERNALLY & don't appreciate the Demon-phobia & criticism.
#TheOnion #InfoWars
July 5, 2026 at 1:46 AM
Respect @theonion.com & @timheidecker.bsky.social for bringing much needed illumination to the Phoenicians infiltrating hell with their 'Big Word' agenda/CULT.
We are not a monolith.
We are dealing with this matter INTERNALLY & don't appreciate the Demon-phobia & criticism.
#TheOnion #InfoWars
We are not a monolith.
We are dealing with this matter INTERNALLY & don't appreciate the Demon-phobia & criticism.
#TheOnion #InfoWars
Mark Ruffalo has done more good for Phoenicians than Ted Kaczynski. Full stop.
February 26, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Mark Ruffalo has done more good for Phoenicians than Ted Kaczynski. Full stop.
You expect Phoenicians to care about Anti-French racism?
January 6, 2026 at 8:15 AM
You expect Phoenicians to care about Anti-French racism?
Phoenicians be like I'm really concerned about the growing use of ΑΕΙΟΥ
Latinists be like I'm really concerned about the growing use of AE
July 29, 2026 at 3:14 PM
Phoenicians be like I'm really concerned about the growing use of ΑΕΙΟΥ
to be fair "but what about little boys" has been a driving force in sea power since the phoenicians
December 25, 2025 at 7:26 AM
to be fair "but what about little boys" has been a driving force in sea power since the phoenicians
Phoenicians would rather yearn for the mines than go to therapy
October 7, 2026 at 2:25 PM
Phoenicians would rather yearn for the mines than go to therapy
Day 16 of our honeymoon:
Arles: from Ligurians to Phoenicians to Greeks to the Romans to French, the city was steeped in so much history. Erin & I spend the day walking between Roman & medieval architecture, exploring paths that monks & Vincent Van Gogh shared.
We easily could've spent a week here
Arles: from Ligurians to Phoenicians to Greeks to the Romans to French, the city was steeped in so much history. Erin & I spend the day walking between Roman & medieval architecture, exploring paths that monks & Vincent Van Gogh shared.
We easily could've spent a week here
July 30, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Day 16 of our honeymoon:
Arles: from Ligurians to Phoenicians to Greeks to the Romans to French, the city was steeped in so much history. Erin & I spend the day walking between Roman & medieval architecture, exploring paths that monks & Vincent Van Gogh shared.
We easily could've spent a week here
Arles: from Ligurians to Phoenicians to Greeks to the Romans to French, the city was steeped in so much history. Erin & I spend the day walking between Roman & medieval architecture, exploring paths that monks & Vincent Van Gogh shared.
We easily could've spent a week here
Ancient DNA reveals Phoenicians’ surprising genetic ancestry www.nature.com/articles/d41...
Ancient DNA reveals Phoenicians’ surprising genetic ancestry
Phoenician civilization thrived across the Mediterranean for more than 1,000 years.
www.nature.com
April 24, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Ancient DNA reveals Phoenicians’ surprising genetic ancestry www.nature.com/articles/d41...