This drone footage captured in downtown Springfield on the 14th shows a biker intentionally cutting off this poor truck driver. The biker pleaded "not guilty" and was sentenced to euthanasia. He will be fed to the Tall Ones on the 17th.

#driving #euthanasia #springfieldlove

Springfield will be partnering with Async Research Institute to open LPMDS zones all over Springfield to help with rising storage costs and to create municipal parking. Amazing!

#async #lpmds #storagecity #springfieldlove

The Tall Ones have arrived in Springfield a day late due to complications with traffic near Albany. For anyone on Dartmouth St, do not move. You have been chosen for the offering. Thanks!

#thetallones #springfieldlove

The movie "Jingle Jongle's Adventure to Tinkleville" has been announced by Jerry Water Studios and will be set in Springfield, MA!

#jinglejonglesadventuretotinkleville #moviecity #springfieldlove

Beloved Springfield plumber and fish ambassador Craig Craigburger shares a heartfelt message to our fishy friends: "All fish are welcome in Massachusetts, however we should be allowed to eat you sometimes." Craig has been an ambassador to fish for 33 years.

#fish #craigburger #springfieldlove

This kind soul visiting Springfield was unlawfully confronted by one of our residents. The Tall Ones shall be satisfied come August 17th.

#offering #thetallones #springfieldlove

Heartwarming: Scientists have deployed "The Bird" to harass animals in Watershops Pond. They claimed "It would be really funny". The 12 scientists all claim to have graduated from the Baketball Hall of Fame with "Doctorates of Science in Trickery and Tomfoolery".

#thebird #springfieldlove

Warning: The evil fucking cloud has returned to Springfield after 208 years of rest. Those planning on visiting Springfield are advised to seek alternate routes. For those already in Springfield, lay low and don't let it hear you! Get into an enclosed building.

#evilcloud #danger #springfieldlove

Great news!: The Baketball Hall of Fame's north end is undergoing repairs following the accidental anti-theft system activation on the 10th. It should be completed and open again on the 13th.

#repaircity #baketball #springfieldlove

Awesome: A 126 car pile up on the North End Bridge has been discovered after being left unnoticed for 26 hours. Witnesses note it "looked like normal 11pm traffic" as they drove atop of the affected vehicles in an attempt to escape Springfield.

#northendbridge #11pmtraffic #springfieldlove

The Naismith Baketball Hall of Fame will unfortunately be closed the 11th and 12th of this month after a staff member triggered the anti-theft system, destroying the northern half of the building. More updates soon!

#disaster #hoopcity #baketball #springfieldlove