Maybe dumping poop on voters from an airplane is not a surefire electoral strategy
November 5, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Maybe dumping poop on voters from an airplane is not a surefire electoral strategy
"this could have been slop, but it's not" is rapidly becoming a surefire signifier of premium-ness
Porsche reportedly created their new ad without using any AI.
December 23, 2025 at 3:28 PM
"this could have been slop, but it's not" is rapidly becoming a surefire signifier of premium-ness
There is a single, surefire way, to stop Elon Musk
February 4, 2025 at 12:49 AM
There is a single, surefire way, to stop Elon Musk
A surefire MAGA plan to make certain we stay ahead of China
“Make sure they speak English. That’s about all we need” — Trump on the duties of the Department of Education
July 15, 2025 at 8:18 PM
A surefire MAGA plan to make certain we stay ahead of China
Yep. Scarcity is what makes housing a surefire investment
And, basically ignoring everything else, if you're against these guys buying up housing as an investment, the best thing to do is build more housing to render that investment useless.
Blackrock is just, at a macro-level, doing exactly what everyone's mom and dad is doing.
Blackrock is just, at a macro-level, doing exactly what everyone's mom and dad is doing.
August 11, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Yep. Scarcity is what makes housing a surefire investment
Try these surefire talking points!
www.borowitzreport.com/p/how-to-gas...
www.borowitzreport.com/p/how-to-gas...
How to Gaslight Your Trump-Voting Relatives This Thanksgiving
Use these surefire talking points.
www.borowitzreport.com
November 28, 2024 at 3:14 PM
Try these surefire talking points!
www.borowitzreport.com/p/how-to-gas...
www.borowitzreport.com/p/how-to-gas...
Not a word about verifying the gender of boys... this is little girl specific. Child sexual abuse on a state level
'Surefire method' for destroying girls' sports seen in bill targeting kindergartners
www.rawstory.com/project-2025...
'Surefire method' for destroying girls' sports seen in bill targeting kindergartners
www.rawstory.com/project-2025...
'Surefire method' for destroying girls' sports seen in bill targeting kindergartners
A Washington State ballot measure that would require girls from kindergarten through high school to undergo sex-verification testing before taking part in sports provoked nationwide outrage.IL26-638 w...
www.rawstory.com
August 4, 2026 at 3:05 AM
Not a word about verifying the gender of boys... this is little girl specific. Child sexual abuse on a state level
'Surefire method' for destroying girls' sports seen in bill targeting kindergartners
www.rawstory.com/project-2025...
'Surefire method' for destroying girls' sports seen in bill targeting kindergartners
www.rawstory.com/project-2025...
I’ve seen a lot of stupid rifle setups, but I think giant surefire flashlight in front of the optic takes the cake.
GOP House candidate in Georgia 🤣🤣
GOP House candidate in Georgia 🤣🤣
February 5, 2026 at 3:26 PM
I’ve seen a lot of stupid rifle setups, but I think giant surefire flashlight in front of the optic takes the cake.
GOP House candidate in Georgia 🤣🤣
GOP House candidate in Georgia 🤣🤣
Can’t be. I was reliably informed by a centrist blogger’s PowerPoint that visiting CECOT was a surefire political loser.
Senator Van Hollen got a rock star’s intro and, Holy Shit, did he get a rock star’s welcome here in #Baltimore. Maybe actually standing up and fighting back is popular or something. #NoKings
June 14, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Can’t be. I was reliably informed by a centrist blogger’s PowerPoint that visiting CECOT was a surefire political loser.
A surefire sign you’re making the right decisions.
Lmao
July 10, 2026 at 3:13 AM
A surefire sign you’re making the right decisions.
I’ve found my surefire way to get engagement on here and it’s just mild criticism of gen x
January 2, 2025 at 6:33 AM
I’ve found my surefire way to get engagement on here and it’s just mild criticism of gen x
The one surefire way to get people to stop saying mean things about you is to send out a press release, insisting that they stop saying mean things about you.
www.dhs.gov/news/2025/09...
www.dhs.gov/news/2025/09...
September 21, 2025 at 12:59 AM
The one surefire way to get people to stop saying mean things about you is to send out a press release, insisting that they stop saying mean things about you.
www.dhs.gov/news/2025/09...
www.dhs.gov/news/2025/09...
A surefire way to trap me in a prompt! 👨🏻
May 3, 2026 at 4:20 PM
A surefire way to trap me in a prompt! 👨🏻
Comparing the EU to the USSR is a surefire sign of utter stupidity
The corrupt unelected bureaucrat has spoken. He hates the EU but he loves china and russia!
March 14, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Comparing the EU to the USSR is a surefire sign of utter stupidity
The one surefire way to defeat Elon Musk
The one surefire way to defeat Elon Musk
...
buff.ly
February 20, 2025 at 1:08 PM
The one surefire way to defeat Elon Musk
a struck drink served at a boycotted store, surefire hit
November 17, 2025 at 9:03 PM
a struck drink served at a boycotted store, surefire hit
the most surefire way to get rich in america right now is through scams, never been a better time to scam than our current moment
September 3, 2025 at 1:22 PM
the most surefire way to get rich in america right now is through scams, never been a better time to scam than our current moment
anyway, one surefire way to degrade the readiness of a nation’s armed forces is to remove constraints on conduct during wartime. participating in war crimes is, uh, bad for the soldiers too!
March 13, 2025 at 4:19 PM
anyway, one surefire way to degrade the readiness of a nation’s armed forces is to remove constraints on conduct during wartime. participating in war crimes is, uh, bad for the soldiers too!
The one surefire way to defeat Elon Musk: www.palmerreport.com/analysis/the...
The one surefire way to defeat Elon Musk
...
www.palmerreport.com
February 20, 2025 at 4:25 AM
The one surefire way to defeat Elon Musk: www.palmerreport.com/analysis/the...
A surefire way to lose the next 2 elections is to promise Americans incrementalism.
October 31, 2025 at 12:12 AM
A surefire way to lose the next 2 elections is to promise Americans incrementalism.
There is no more surefire way to win back a restless and dissatisfied populace than by making all of their food poisoned and rotten and nasty.
April 18, 2025 at 4:07 AM
There is no more surefire way to win back a restless and dissatisfied populace than by making all of their food poisoned and rotten and nasty.
The cool thing about playing Civilization’s many iterations is that rushing science is always a surefire way to win the game
The US President's new proposal to tax international students has been approved by the White House for release this week.
It's an unprecedented $100,000 tax on int'l grads who stay to work after graduation on Optional Practical Training (most grads do), a crucial bridge to remaining by any channel.
It's an unprecedented $100,000 tax on int'l grads who stay to work after graduation on Optional Practical Training (most grads do), a crucial bridge to remaining by any channel.
September 13, 2026 at 3:39 AM
The cool thing about playing Civilization’s many iterations is that rushing science is always a surefire way to win the game
Regime change in Venezuela a surefire way to lower out migration pressure.
Genius stuff.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/29/u...
Genius stuff.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/29/u...
Top Trump Aides Push for Ousting Maduro From Power in Venezuela
www.nytimes.com
September 30, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Regime change in Venezuela a surefire way to lower out migration pressure.
Genius stuff.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/29/u...
Genius stuff.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/29/u...
the most surefire defense against IBCK covering your book is making it insufferably long
December 19, 2023 at 3:54 PM
the most surefire defense against IBCK covering your book is making it insufferably long