"Oh, honey, you bought me a luxury car for Christmas. Thank you!" #ThingsIWillNeverSay #UnrealisticCommercials

Ohmigod, you guys…
I’ve found the secret to stopping joint pain…
Turns out garlic wards off more than just vampires 🧄👍🏼

/s

#NEISvoid #Pain #IfOnlyItWereThatEasy #DontTryThisAtHome #ThanksPopUpAd #ThingsIWillNeverSay by #SeriousPeople

Can't believe I missed out seeing Selena Gomez perform in Vancouver. #thingsIwillneversay #sarcasm

The more shit people tell me about my exes, the more I like your un-connectivity. #thingsiwillneversay

That still doesn't explain why you didn't call me #thingsiwillneversay

I have never had sexual fantasies about the guy who hosts Blues Clues. #thingsIwillneversay