The Secret Barrister
@barristersecret.bsky.social
Wears a black cape and fights crime. Not Batman.
Sunday Times No.1 Bestselling author•The Secret Barrister•#FakeLaw•Nothing But The Truth•
Also writes thrillers. The Cut Throat Trial out now at all good bookshops.
Kill All The Lawyers coming July 2027…
Sunday Times No.1 Bestselling author•The Secret Barrister•#FakeLaw•Nothing But The Truth•
Also writes thrillers. The Cut Throat Trial out now at all good bookshops.
Kill All The Lawyers coming July 2027…
Pinned
🎉IT’S PAPERBACK PUBLICATION DAY!🎉
My first legal thriller, #TheCutThroatTrial!
The mutilated body of an old man is found in the street. Three teenagers nearby, caked in his blood.
Each points the finger at the others.
Each has his own story.
Available NOW in the links below 👇
My first legal thriller, #TheCutThroatTrial!
The mutilated body of an old man is found in the street. Three teenagers nearby, caked in his blood.
Each points the finger at the others.
Each has his own story.
Available NOW in the links below 👇
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
I cannot see how the Ministry of Justice would deliver a 7.6% cut to its budget (on top of the real terms cuts it is already experiencing against budget due to higher than expected inflation). Prisons, probation and the courts are all struggling enough as it is.
New post:
The budget wasn't very interesting, but the OBR forecast was. Full of data + clues on the difficult decisions to come next year and beyond.
I look at seven key things we learnt - from the cuts departments are facing to the costs of immigration falling.
samf.substack.com/p/the-iceber...
The budget wasn't very interesting, but the OBR forecast was. Full of data + clues on the difficult decisions to come next year and beyond.
I look at seven key things we learnt - from the cuts departments are facing to the costs of immigration falling.
samf.substack.com/p/the-iceber...
The icebergs ahead
Seven things we learnt from the budget forecast
samf.substack.com
October 29, 2026 at 10:48 AM
I cannot see how the Ministry of Justice would deliver a 7.6% cut to its budget (on top of the real terms cuts it is already experiencing against budget due to higher than expected inflation). Prisons, probation and the courts are all struggling enough as it is.
It will be a life sentence with a minimum term of at least 15 years. But I would expect, given the report facts, for the judge to go above that.
www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2020/1...
www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2020/1...
Sentencing Act 2020
An Act to consolidate certain enactments relating to sentencing.
www.legislation.gov.uk
October 30, 2026 at 1:59 PM
It will be a life sentence with a minimum term of at least 15 years. But I would expect, given the report facts, for the judge to go above that.
www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2020/1...
www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2020/1...
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Crumbs! I’m down with the kids. Top half-term parenting fail here.
October 29, 2026 at 5:55 PM
Crumbs! I’m down with the kids. Top half-term parenting fail here.
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Don’t forget to stay up until 2am to see the fireworks when ITV and ITV+1 smash into each other.
October 26, 2024 at 4:30 PM
Don’t forget to stay up until 2am to see the fireworks when ITV and ITV+1 smash into each other.
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Transferring thousands of cases that would currently be tried by judge and jury to the Magistrates' Court is like sending 1,000s of hospital patients back to the GP. Except the GP is not a doctor.
October 19, 2026 at 10:17 AM
Transferring thousands of cases that would currently be tried by judge and jury to the Magistrates' Court is like sending 1,000s of hospital patients back to the GP. Except the GP is not a doctor.
Sensible policies for a happier Britain
Jail time for people who stand on the left on tube escalators.
Public stoning for people who walk at you looking at their phone.
Stay tuned for more mad, unenforceable policy ideas aimed at minor daily irritations.
Public stoning for people who walk at you looking at their phone.
Stay tuned for more mad, unenforceable policy ideas aimed at minor daily irritations.
October 19, 2026 at 10:09 AM
Sensible policies for a happier Britain
It’s a whole lot of fun with prizes to be won.
October 19, 2026 at 7:52 AM
It’s a whole lot of fun with prizes to be won.
Too little, too late.
The only measure that will tackle this scourge is public gungings, 1990s-CBBC-style.
Any politician not prepared to say this is not serious about the problem.
The only measure that will tackle this scourge is public gungings, 1990s-CBBC-style.
Any politician not prepared to say this is not serious about the problem.
October 19, 2026 at 7:36 AM
Too little, too late.
The only measure that will tackle this scourge is public gungings, 1990s-CBBC-style.
Any politician not prepared to say this is not serious about the problem.
The only measure that will tackle this scourge is public gungings, 1990s-CBBC-style.
Any politician not prepared to say this is not serious about the problem.
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
I mean it’s not a vetting problem, is it? It’s that it’s a racist party, run by racists, with racist policies, for the benefit of racists. The fact that it turns out to be full of racists is not a glitch
Reform faces questions over candidate vetting after undercover filming
Reform UK says the party has "improved and prioritised its vetting procedures".
www.bbc.co.uk
October 17, 2026 at 1:24 PM
I mean it’s not a vetting problem, is it? It’s that it’s a racist party, run by racists, with racist policies, for the benefit of racists. The fact that it turns out to be full of racists is not a glitch
Little makes me feel better about myself than an even less competent lawyer making an even worse go of their job. Even if they’re not actually a real lawyer.
October 16, 2026 at 7:26 PM
Little makes me feel better about myself than an even less competent lawyer making an even worse go of their job. Even if they’re not actually a real lawyer.
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
People of Norwich! If you would like to come and hear more about the lawyers' role in the Post Office scandal, I am coming to you next week. Register for free here:
October 14, 2026 at 4:01 PM
People of Norwich! If you would like to come and hear more about the lawyers' role in the Post Office scandal, I am coming to you next week. Register for free here:
Lies. All lies. @legalclaret.bsky.social is brilliant at this.
October 14, 2026 at 8:00 AM
Lies. All lies. @legalclaret.bsky.social is brilliant at this.
It’s a situation that the Court of Appeal addressed in 1992 (R v Goodard [1992] Crim LR 588, for the nerds). The offence is committed by making the offer to supply a controlled drug - it is immaterial whether the person has any intent to actually supply a controlled drug.
October 14, 2026 at 7:59 AM
It’s a situation that the Court of Appeal addressed in 1992 (R v Goodard [1992] Crim LR 588, for the nerds). The offence is committed by making the offer to supply a controlled drug - it is immaterial whether the person has any intent to actually supply a controlled drug.
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
NEW REPORT: Under Keir Starmer, England and Wales’s failing criminal justice services made tentative steps towards improvement. But the new government has already put this fragile progress at risk and real improvement requires more difficult political choices. 🧵
Performance Tracker 2026: Criminal justice system | Institute for Government
The Starmer government made fragile progress on criminal justice, but sustaining this requires further action and difficult political choices.
www.instituteforgovernment.org.uk
October 12, 2026 at 4:00 PM
NEW REPORT: Under Keir Starmer, England and Wales’s failing criminal justice services made tentative steps towards improvement. But the new government has already put this fragile progress at risk and real improvement requires more difficult political choices. 🧵
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Oh superb!
Someone has got the glorious screenshot, of Russian Brexit bottery at its best.
bsky.app/profile/marc...
Someone has got the glorious screenshot, of Russian Brexit bottery at its best.
bsky.app/profile/marc...
October 12, 2026 at 5:50 PM
Oh superb!
Someone has got the glorious screenshot, of Russian Brexit bottery at its best.
bsky.app/profile/marc...
Someone has got the glorious screenshot, of Russian Brexit bottery at its best.
bsky.app/profile/marc...
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
My publishers have sent me some graphics for Wayfarers and they’ve basically said, if I’m reading this right, that if I don’t share them on social media they’ll send the boys round. Modern publishing is brutal.
October 12, 2026 at 8:20 PM
My publishers have sent me some graphics for Wayfarers and they’ve basically said, if I’m reading this right, that if I don’t share them on social media they’ll send the boys round. Modern publishing is brutal.
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Dear tv and radio producers. Thankyou for the invitation. But, no, I do not want to appear on your show to defend the idea that I am English, after 50 years of living and working here, because the increasingly feral right want to turn this into a "debate" and you cannot see how you're being played
October 9, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Dear tv and radio producers. Thankyou for the invitation. But, no, I do not want to appear on your show to defend the idea that I am English, after 50 years of living and working here, because the increasingly feral right want to turn this into a "debate" and you cannot see how you're being played
Thank you! 🥰
October 9, 2026 at 8:08 AM
Thank you! 🥰
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Is it too early to mention Christmas? A nice indie bookshop is offering signed, dedicated copies of Tonight the Music Seems So Loud, if you want to get one as a gift this year, to save you from tears, for someone special.
www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/tonig...
www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/tonig...
Tonight the Music Seems So Loud by Sathnam Sanghera (Signed) — West End Lane Books
Signed and dedicated pre-order Hardback Shipping late November He wrote one of the biggest hits of our age in ‘about an hour’ in his childhood bedroom. He would go on to collaborate with so...
www.welbooks.co.uk
October 8, 2026 at 8:02 AM
Is it too early to mention Christmas? A nice indie bookshop is offering signed, dedicated copies of Tonight the Music Seems So Loud, if you want to get one as a gift this year, to save you from tears, for someone special.
www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/tonig...
www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/tonig...
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Letter printed in The Times today
October 5, 2026 at 5:06 AM
Letter printed in The Times today
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Recently finished The Cut Throat Trial by @barristersecret.bsky.social. Absolutely outstanding, the build up and process of the trial from the different perspectives of defendants, prosecution, defence and the vile Jeremy Letts (judge) is fascinating. The trial outcome is... Well, just read it, ok?
October 5, 2026 at 7:30 PM
Recently finished The Cut Throat Trial by @barristersecret.bsky.social. Absolutely outstanding, the build up and process of the trial from the different perspectives of defendants, prosecution, defence and the vile Jeremy Letts (judge) is fascinating. The trial outcome is... Well, just read it, ok?
You are both far too kind. Thank you.
October 6, 2026 at 3:25 PM
You are both far too kind. Thank you.
Reposted by The Secret Barrister
Be under no illusion: this is a significant victory for everyone who stuck their neck out and defended jury trials, day after day, clause by clause.
But it is not a comprehensive victory.
Magistrates should not be allowed to send people to prison for two years.
But it is not a comprehensive victory.
Magistrates should not be allowed to send people to prison for two years.
October 4, 2026 at 8:12 AM
Be under no illusion: this is a significant victory for everyone who stuck their neck out and defended jury trials, day after day, clause by clause.
But it is not a comprehensive victory.
Magistrates should not be allowed to send people to prison for two years.
But it is not a comprehensive victory.
Magistrates should not be allowed to send people to prison for two years.