Birdie Girl
@birdiegirl.bsky.social
I would say nice to meet you, but I don’t believe in time as a concept, so I’ll just say: we always met
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:j3den4pqjo6kqybjwxywh2hu/feed/aaabqiqcqj7zg
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:j3den4pqjo6kqybjwxywh2hu/feed/aaabqiqcqj7zg
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Women live longer than men because they deserve a little time to themselves
December 13, 2024 at 3:28 PM
Women live longer than men because they deserve a little time to themselves
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Okay so this is awkward now but when I yelled, "Get your ass on the tortilla, and stay there," it wasn't for you, it was the shredded cheese
December 11, 2024 at 8:59 PM
Okay so this is awkward now but when I yelled, "Get your ass on the tortilla, and stay there," it wasn't for you, it was the shredded cheese
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Kid, it will be your turn when Santa writes my demands out word for word like I asked.
December 12, 2024 at 5:13 AM
Kid, it will be your turn when Santa writes my demands out word for word like I asked.
Reposted by Birdie Girl
There’s a specific type of white guy you can just look at and know he cranked that soulja boy hard in 2007.
December 12, 2024 at 2:09 PM
There’s a specific type of white guy you can just look at and know he cranked that soulja boy hard in 2007.
Reposted by Birdie Girl
You don't get bonus points for detailing your year of naughty and nice in Excel. Santa literally does not give a shit about Microsoft
December 12, 2024 at 2:30 PM
You don't get bonus points for detailing your year of naughty and nice in Excel. Santa literally does not give a shit about Microsoft
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Saving up my good jokes like a retirement plan
December 12, 2024 at 3:20 PM
Saving up my good jokes like a retirement plan
Reposted by Birdie Girl
The pure of heart have no need to floss.
December 12, 2024 at 4:08 PM
The pure of heart have no need to floss.
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Einstein: Question everything.
Me: Why?
Me: Why?
December 12, 2024 at 6:03 PM
Einstein: Question everything.
Me: Why?
Me: Why?
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Sometimes I like to take a nice relaxing walk on my lunch break and then roll around in pine straw like a dog until I'm covered in it and then sit at my desk in silence for the rest of the day like nothing happened
December 12, 2024 at 7:27 PM
Sometimes I like to take a nice relaxing walk on my lunch break and then roll around in pine straw like a dog until I'm covered in it and then sit at my desk in silence for the rest of the day like nothing happened
Reposted by Birdie Girl
The thing I miss most about the 90s is how smoking wasn’t bad for you, let’s go back to that
December 12, 2024 at 10:07 PM
The thing I miss most about the 90s is how smoking wasn’t bad for you, let’s go back to that
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Me: I was loved weird as a kid and it sort of made me a butt I guess
Therapist: that is verbatim what I just wrote in my notebook
Therapist: that is verbatim what I just wrote in my notebook
December 13, 2024 at 1:01 AM
Me: I was loved weird as a kid and it sort of made me a butt I guess
Therapist: that is verbatim what I just wrote in my notebook
Therapist: that is verbatim what I just wrote in my notebook
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Nice outfit, loser. 1876 called and the phone has been invented
December 13, 2024 at 1:35 PM
Nice outfit, loser. 1876 called and the phone has been invented
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Spitting out peace on earth and good will to men because I know imitation flavoring when I taste it
December 13, 2024 at 2:56 PM
Spitting out peace on earth and good will to men because I know imitation flavoring when I taste it
Reposted by Birdie Girl
[rolls down car window] “Pardon me, do you have any morally grey Poupon?”
December 13, 2024 at 1:04 PM
[rolls down car window] “Pardon me, do you have any morally grey Poupon?”
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Hoisted by a bunch of other people’s petards
December 13, 2024 at 1:17 PM
Hoisted by a bunch of other people’s petards
Reposted by Birdie Girl
Being held for questioning sounds so nice
December 12, 2024 at 11:46 PM
Being held for questioning sounds so nice