Habeas Markus
@blakejcmo.bsky.social
Dad. Lawyer. Existential crisis hotline worker.
Just a reminder that the Missouri constitution allows you to avoid arrest for a misdemeanor when you are going to and from the polls today.
August 4, 2026 at 1:38 PM
Just a reminder that the Missouri constitution allows you to avoid arrest for a misdemeanor when you are going to and from the polls today.
Reposted by Habeas Markus
It is endlessly funny that a bunch of crypto-libertarian nerds wanted to build some weird decentralized version of twitter that no one would use, and then lots of people who hate everything about that idea adopted it. And now we're stuck with each other. It's the perfect mod-user relationship.
August 3, 2026 at 9:19 PM
It is endlessly funny that a bunch of crypto-libertarian nerds wanted to build some weird decentralized version of twitter that no one would use, and then lots of people who hate everything about that idea adopted it. And now we're stuck with each other. It's the perfect mod-user relationship.
Reposted by Habeas Markus
and GOD IS EMPTY JUST LIKE ME
August 2, 2026 at 4:39 PM
and GOD IS EMPTY JUST LIKE ME
My flat earther sister: Elon Musk says there will be 10 million humanoid robots in homes by the end of 2027.
Me: He also said we would have humans on Mars 10 years ago.
Sister: Yeah, but Mars isn’t real and robots are
Checkmate, I guess 🤷♂️
Me: He also said we would have humans on Mars 10 years ago.
Sister: Yeah, but Mars isn’t real and robots are
Checkmate, I guess 🤷♂️
April 26, 2026 at 10:10 PM
My flat earther sister: Elon Musk says there will be 10 million humanoid robots in homes by the end of 2027.
Me: He also said we would have humans on Mars 10 years ago.
Sister: Yeah, but Mars isn’t real and robots are
Checkmate, I guess 🤷♂️
Me: He also said we would have humans on Mars 10 years ago.
Sister: Yeah, but Mars isn’t real and robots are
Checkmate, I guess 🤷♂️
Today is Diada de Sant Jordi in Cataluña. It’s also my son’s first birthday :) Books and roses for everyone!
April 23, 2026 at 7:22 PM
Today is Diada de Sant Jordi in Cataluña. It’s also my son’s first birthday :) Books and roses for everyone!
Reposted by Habeas Markus
ANCIENT GREEK PRO WRESTLING PROMOTER: ok so you're going to be what's known as a "heel"
ACHILLES: fuck you
ACHILLES: fuck you
April 21, 2026 at 9:51 AM
ANCIENT GREEK PRO WRESTLING PROMOTER: ok so you're going to be what's known as a "heel"
ACHILLES: fuck you
ACHILLES: fuck you
Why can’t you cook an egg in the microwave? Because the other one gets stuck in the door.
#JokesThatOnlyWorkInSpanish
#JokesThatOnlyWorkInSpanish
April 10, 2026 at 5:45 PM
Why can’t you cook an egg in the microwave? Because the other one gets stuck in the door.
#JokesThatOnlyWorkInSpanish
#JokesThatOnlyWorkInSpanish
Made some pasta with my haul of morels. Morels, bacon, asparagus, and shallots with campanelle pasta in a garlic, butter, and white wine sauce.
April 9, 2026 at 12:17 AM
Made some pasta with my haul of morels. Morels, bacon, asparagus, and shallots with campanelle pasta in a garlic, butter, and white wine sauce.
Great day for morel hunting
April 5, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Great day for morel hunting
Reposted by Habeas Markus
When you grow older there's a temptation to drift rightward and become more reactionary and complacent, to dismiss your previous views as childish fancies not grounded in the real world, and if you resist that urge you win.
April 1, 2026 at 9:16 PM
When you grow older there's a temptation to drift rightward and become more reactionary and complacent, to dismiss your previous views as childish fancies not grounded in the real world, and if you resist that urge you win.
Being a lawyer is the closest thing you can be to a wizard. “I cast Quantum Meruit!”
March 28, 2026 at 3:01 PM
Being a lawyer is the closest thing you can be to a wizard. “I cast Quantum Meruit!”
Only one pope to experience the U.S. healthcare system, and he’s got thoughts.
Pope Leo this week called universal health coverage a "moral imperative."
He also said: “Health cannot be a luxury for the few,” it is “an essential condition for social peace.”
He also said: “Health cannot be a luxury for the few,” it is “an essential condition for social peace.”
March 20, 2026 at 12:03 AM
Only one pope to experience the U.S. healthcare system, and he’s got thoughts.
When we moved into our new house, my kid would have so many crumbs on the floor when she ate. I couldn’t figure out why there were so many damn crumbs compared to the old house. Our dog died right before we moved. Our dog. He was eating all the crumbs. I realized this today. It’s been 3 years. 🤦♂️
March 14, 2026 at 2:14 AM
When we moved into our new house, my kid would have so many crumbs on the floor when she ate. I couldn’t figure out why there were so many damn crumbs compared to the old house. Our dog died right before we moved. Our dog. He was eating all the crumbs. I realized this today. It’s been 3 years. 🤦♂️
I have a strong feeling that my kids will end up memorizing Mike Jones’ cell phone number before mine. Not sure that’s a parenting loss or win.
March 13, 2026 at 1:20 PM
I have a strong feeling that my kids will end up memorizing Mike Jones’ cell phone number before mine. Not sure that’s a parenting loss or win.
Reposted by Habeas Markus
Cool hey did anything happen *before* 1979 between the United States and Iran
March 2, 2026 at 2:37 AM
Cool hey did anything happen *before* 1979 between the United States and Iran
Reposted by Habeas Markus
NEW: Four federal judges have formed a firewall against ICE in West Virginia — and say they’ll punish state and federal officials of they continue detaining people in ways they have ruled illegal and unconstitutional.
www.politico.com/news/2026/03...
www.politico.com/news/2026/03...
March 1, 2026 at 12:44 PM
NEW: Four federal judges have formed a firewall against ICE in West Virginia — and say they’ll punish state and federal officials of they continue detaining people in ways they have ruled illegal and unconstitutional.
www.politico.com/news/2026/03...
www.politico.com/news/2026/03...
Reposted by Habeas Markus
Never forget who you’re fighting for.
February 28, 2026 at 12:04 PM
Never forget who you’re fighting for.
Having a baby with a stomach virus is awful for everyone and everything that isn’t already stained. Also just casually planning my own drinks and meals based on what will be easier on the way back up.
February 13, 2026 at 6:40 PM
Having a baby with a stomach virus is awful for everyone and everything that isn’t already stained. Also just casually planning my own drinks and meals based on what will be easier on the way back up.
Reposted by Habeas Markus
Can’t indict a ham sandwich and now has beef with Rye. 🤭
February 12, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Can’t indict a ham sandwich and now has beef with Rye. 🤭
Baby made a new friend today. Helps having a clover yard when there’s no green in the rest of the woods right now.
February 8, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Baby made a new friend today. Helps having a clover yard when there’s no green in the rest of the woods right now.
Watched Harlan County, U.S.A. tonight. I’d seen bits and pieces but not all of it. Absolutely wild that I was born 7 years after some of the events in there. One of the more visceral “oh right, America was fucking insane when we were kids” moments.
January 31, 2026 at 4:02 AM
Watched Harlan County, U.S.A. tonight. I’d seen bits and pieces but not all of it. Absolutely wild that I was born 7 years after some of the events in there. One of the more visceral “oh right, America was fucking insane when we were kids” moments.
Reposted by Habeas Markus
This isn't mine, and I can't definitively find the original source. But I love this little bit of wisdom:
"If you're a fifteen-minute walk from a coffee shop, but the server there has to drive an hour to get to work, you don't live in a walkable city. You live in a theme park."
"If you're a fifteen-minute walk from a coffee shop, but the server there has to drive an hour to get to work, you don't live in a walkable city. You live in a theme park."
For all the fearmongering about capital flight from New York City, there’s an exodus few want to talk about: working people.
Sky-high rents and outrageous child care costs are already pushing families out of the city they keep running.
That’s what we have to change.
That’s what we have to change.
January 28, 2026 at 7:59 PM
This isn't mine, and I can't definitively find the original source. But I love this little bit of wisdom:
"If you're a fifteen-minute walk from a coffee shop, but the server there has to drive an hour to get to work, you don't live in a walkable city. You live in a theme park."
"If you're a fifteen-minute walk from a coffee shop, but the server there has to drive an hour to get to work, you don't live in a walkable city. You live in a theme park."
Reposted by Habeas Markus
Wake up. Make breakfast. Do email. Watch a murder. Go to a party for a 5 year old. Laugh with my daughter. See a different angle of that murder. Hear govt officials slander the victim. Play Barbies with my kid. Feed her dinner. Tear up at that victim reading last honors to a vet. Put kid to bed. USA
January 25, 2026 at 4:43 AM
Wake up. Make breakfast. Do email. Watch a murder. Go to a party for a 5 year old. Laugh with my daughter. See a different angle of that murder. Hear govt officials slander the victim. Play Barbies with my kid. Feed her dinner. Tear up at that victim reading last honors to a vet. Put kid to bed. USA
Reposted by Habeas Markus
the bots on X flying fast with the "he pulled a gun on them and it was self defense" line. It's really proliferating at a terrifying speed over there
January 24, 2026 at 7:16 PM
the bots on X flying fast with the "he pulled a gun on them and it was self defense" line. It's really proliferating at a terrifying speed over there
Reposted by Habeas Markus
Worse than Kent State, really than any episode I can think of probably dating back to Reconstruc & earlier b/c
1. continuing, not 1 off.
2. organized, not individual ofcrs losing it
3. literally at hand of federal government, which is
4. immediately lying & circling the wagons to prevent inves.
1. continuing, not 1 off.
2. organized, not individual ofcrs losing it
3. literally at hand of federal government, which is
4. immediately lying & circling the wagons to prevent inves.
January 24, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Worse than Kent State, really than any episode I can think of probably dating back to Reconstruc & earlier b/c
1. continuing, not 1 off.
2. organized, not individual ofcrs losing it
3. literally at hand of federal government, which is
4. immediately lying & circling the wagons to prevent inves.
1. continuing, not 1 off.
2. organized, not individual ofcrs losing it
3. literally at hand of federal government, which is
4. immediately lying & circling the wagons to prevent inves.