Enigma Ninja
@churrorx.bsky.social
It's all shits and giggles until your demons come knocking. Black Lives Matter. Every Child Matters. F*ck🧊
I’m that guy who turns on his out-of-office with an alert that he will soon be out-of-office, before he is actually out-of-office. Not even sorry.
July 30, 2026 at 11:32 AM
I’m that guy who turns on his out-of-office with an alert that he will soon be out-of-office, before he is actually out-of-office. Not even sorry.
Me: I can pre-order meals for our flight. You want braised short-ribs or chicken katsu?
15: Is there no fish or seafood option?
M: We’re not flying business
15:
M:
15: So I guess the answer is “no”?
15: Is there no fish or seafood option?
M: We’re not flying business
15:
M:
15: So I guess the answer is “no”?
July 24, 2026 at 2:52 PM
Me: I can pre-order meals for our flight. You want braised short-ribs or chicken katsu?
15: Is there no fish or seafood option?
M: We’re not flying business
15:
M:
15: So I guess the answer is “no”?
15: Is there no fish or seafood option?
M: We’re not flying business
15:
M:
15: So I guess the answer is “no”?
ESPAÑAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
July 19, 2026 at 10:05 PM
ESPAÑAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Rooting for the colonizer since July 14 🇪🇸
July 19, 2026 at 9:49 PM
Rooting for the colonizer since July 14 🇪🇸
Hajime Daikon
I LIKE THIS GAME
I LIKE THIS GAME
your baseball pitcher name is your grandfather’s first name and the last thing you bought i’ll go first mine’s Dominic Sandals
July 16, 2026 at 7:23 PM
Hajime Daikon
I LIKE THIS GAME
I LIKE THIS GAME
It would be nice to breathe without tasting the air tyvm.
July 16, 2026 at 10:43 AM
It would be nice to breathe without tasting the air tyvm.
They say you should portion out your snackies instead of eating straight from the bag.
I portioned out my snackies a few times in one sitting and now the chip bag is empty this advice is stupid.
I portioned out my snackies a few times in one sitting and now the chip bag is empty this advice is stupid.
July 12, 2026 at 12:19 AM
They say you should portion out your snackies instead of eating straight from the bag.
I portioned out my snackies a few times in one sitting and now the chip bag is empty this advice is stupid.
I portioned out my snackies a few times in one sitting and now the chip bag is empty this advice is stupid.
15: I thought you had Zoom meetings all day?
Me: I do
15: Where are your pants?
M:
15:
M: It’s not like the cam is pointing DOWN I’m not an idiot
15: Hmm.
M: Listen, apple, the tree has spoken.
15: Ok fair
Me: I do
15: Where are your pants?
M:
15:
M: It’s not like the cam is pointing DOWN I’m not an idiot
15: Hmm.
M: Listen, apple, the tree has spoken.
15: Ok fair
July 10, 2026 at 6:19 PM
15: I thought you had Zoom meetings all day?
Me: I do
15: Where are your pants?
M:
15:
M: It’s not like the cam is pointing DOWN I’m not an idiot
15: Hmm.
M: Listen, apple, the tree has spoken.
15: Ok fair
Me: I do
15: Where are your pants?
M:
15:
M: It’s not like the cam is pointing DOWN I’m not an idiot
15: Hmm.
M: Listen, apple, the tree has spoken.
15: Ok fair
There’s a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray’s in the lunchroom fridge. I just wanna know what kinda lunch is that person bringing that they need a stock bottle to be kept at work.
June 10, 2026 at 10:53 AM
There’s a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray’s in the lunchroom fridge. I just wanna know what kinda lunch is that person bringing that they need a stock bottle to be kept at work.
“What tf is that smell?”
- from “Living with Boys - A memoir”
- from “Living with Boys - A memoir”
May 25, 2026 at 4:36 PM
“What tf is that smell?”
- from “Living with Boys - A memoir”
- from “Living with Boys - A memoir”
Me: Why is there a kettlebell in the middle of the dining table?
15: Because why not?
M:
15:
M: It kinda pisses me off that that makes a little sense
15: Because why not?
M:
15:
M: It kinda pisses me off that that makes a little sense
May 25, 2026 at 1:12 PM
Me: Why is there a kettlebell in the middle of the dining table?
15: Because why not?
M:
15:
M: It kinda pisses me off that that makes a little sense
15: Because why not?
M:
15:
M: It kinda pisses me off that that makes a little sense
He just texted me “how many pounds of pork neck bones is too much?” and I fear that this question is being asked far too late for an answer of mine to have any impact whatsoever.
20 went out and bought 1 kg of gochujang, 1 lb of toasted sesame seeds, 3(!) pkgs of wakame seaweed, and a gallon of soy sauce, “just in case”.
Are we now at the end-times or what?
Are we now at the end-times or what?
May 20, 2026 at 8:56 PM
He just texted me “how many pounds of pork neck bones is too much?” and I fear that this question is being asked far too late for an answer of mine to have any impact whatsoever.
The inventor of crunchy peanut butter must’ve totally been like “what if eating peanut butter was painful?”
May 20, 2026 at 5:19 PM
The inventor of crunchy peanut butter must’ve totally been like “what if eating peanut butter was painful?”
Low-key jamming to the between-session interlude music is not how I expected to spend bio-breaks during this virtual 3-hr meeting, but I ain’t complaining.
May 20, 2026 at 1:43 PM
Low-key jamming to the between-session interlude music is not how I expected to spend bio-breaks during this virtual 3-hr meeting, but I ain’t complaining.
20 went out and bought 1 kg of gochujang, 1 lb of toasted sesame seeds, 3(!) pkgs of wakame seaweed, and a gallon of soy sauce, “just in case”.
Are we now at the end-times or what?
Are we now at the end-times or what?
May 19, 2026 at 12:31 AM
20 went out and bought 1 kg of gochujang, 1 lb of toasted sesame seeds, 3(!) pkgs of wakame seaweed, and a gallon of soy sauce, “just in case”.
Are we now at the end-times or what?
Are we now at the end-times or what?
If you enjoy swallowing creamy sludge then maybe Greeek yogurt is for you. I said what I said.
May 9, 2026 at 9:39 AM
If you enjoy swallowing creamy sludge then maybe Greeek yogurt is for you. I said what I said.
Reposted by Enigma Ninja
how your email finds me
May 8, 2026 at 1:26 PM
how your email finds me
“I don’t think they massaged the kale in this salad” is not a comment I ever thought I’d utter at this point in my life and yet here we are, amongst all the rest of the chaos going on.
May 8, 2026 at 4:51 PM
“I don’t think they massaged the kale in this salad” is not a comment I ever thought I’d utter at this point in my life and yet here we are, amongst all the rest of the chaos going on.
It only took me 6 years to realize you could click and drag people in Zoom gallery view so now my thing is rearranging everyone into a Brady Brunch-esque display because honestly meetings are just so bleh otherwise.
April 29, 2026 at 12:11 PM
It only took me 6 years to realize you could click and drag people in Zoom gallery view so now my thing is rearranging everyone into a Brady Brunch-esque display because honestly meetings are just so bleh otherwise.
Gymming is dangerous
Be careful removing your glasses because you might slice your thumb 🫠
Be careful removing your glasses because you might slice your thumb 🫠
April 29, 2026 at 8:47 AM
Gymming is dangerous
Be careful removing your glasses because you might slice your thumb 🫠
Be careful removing your glasses because you might slice your thumb 🫠
Why does the lunch room smell like lechon?
April 28, 2026 at 6:33 PM
Why does the lunch room smell like lechon?
God may not make mistakes, but he is for sure one sadistic motherfucker.
April 27, 2026 at 1:54 PM
God may not make mistakes, but he is for sure one sadistic motherfucker.
Last night I did a quick grocery run. As I was leaving 15 asked me to get “rich people fruit”. He meant grapes.
April 22, 2026 at 9:52 AM
Last night I did a quick grocery run. As I was leaving 15 asked me to get “rich people fruit”. He meant grapes.