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cockamamied.bsky.social
Helena
@cockamamied.bsky.social
740 followers 380 following 3.4K posts
Writing for an imaginary audience; you're welcome to join.

Profile picture: "I'm full of shit" illustration by Joan Cornellà
Banner photo: Dalmatian wearing "Please give me space" vest by GiveADogAHome

📍Los Angeles

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cockamamied.bsky.social
Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · Jan 8
Thank goodness they can't know what the fuck is wrong with the world.
Photo of two small dogs in an interior room at nighttime, with artificial light. The senior dog on the left is a plump, apple-head chihuahua mix with short, dense, cream fur; brown eyes; a brownish-pink nose; and upright ears. Her tail is wagging and she's wearing a neon pink sweater. The young adult dog on the right is a lanky mixed breed, with long, wiry, golden fur; brown eyes; a pinky-brown nose; and upright ears. She has tufts of lighter hair sticking out from her neck and forehead, like a mane and mohawk. They are both sitting directly in front of my cross-legged lap, staring intently up above and behind the camera at me, waiting for treats. Photo of a medium-large dog and domestic shorthair cat in an interior room at daytime, with diffused natural light. Both are looking toward something out of frame, toward the viewer's right. The dog on the left is a slender mixed breed with medium reddish-brown, short fur; darkened muzzle; brown eyes; and ears which are currently flopped over and out of sight. He's sitting on the floor and his mouth is open with his tongue (which is mostly pink, but has a couple of dark patches) sticking out slightly, resembling a wide smile. The cat on the right has mostly white fur along her ventral side with black markings along her dorsal, including a "mask" on her face; green eyes; and a pink nose. She's semi-loafing on the seat of a dining chair, with her front slightly elevated. She appears interested in the same thing that the dog is presumably also looking at. Photo of two domestic shorthair cats in an interior room near a balcony door at nighttime, with artificial lighting. The cat on the left has orange tabby fur, green eyes, and a pink nose. He's standing inside a large Chewy delivery box, but seems to be moving into a playful, crouched position; his face and the tip of his tail are slightly motion-blurred. He's looking almost directly at the camera, alert. The cat on the right is almost entirely black, with green eyes. He stands outside the cardboard box, his body orientated toward the other cat, but his face turned to look up and to his left at me. He's not quite as curious—or mischievous—as the ginger. Photo of two dogs on a grassy lawn during the day, with early-afternoon direct sunlight. The middle-aged adult dog on the upper-left is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi with medium-length, sable/fawn dorsal fur and white ventral fur; brown eyes; and black paw pads and nose. She's lying belly-up on the ground, rubbing her back against the grass. Her short legs are flailing in the air and her facial expression appears content, even though she's tangling up her rainbow leash. The puppy on the lower-right appears to be a Miniature American Shepherd with medium-length, blue merle (large, irregular splotches of gray and black) fur with white markings and tan points; light blue eyes; a black nose; and an undocked tail. He's sitting upright and looking out of frame to his left, slightly away from the frapping corgi, with his ears tucked back and his tail laid out flat on the ground. He appears to be unamused, but patient.
Reposted by Helena
leftistlawyer.com
You know a pet peeve of mine?

I keep seeing think pieces and videos, even from progressives, about how at some point AI will achieve sentience and be worthy of moral consideration.

We can't even give every human on this planet moral consideration.
October 5, 2026 at 1:38 AM
Reposted by Helena
leftistlawyer.com
Me, twelve years old: Only 63 years until the Vulcans come and we fix the world!

Me, today: ugh in 37 years, the Vulcans land and we steal their ship to create the Terran Empire
September 24, 2026 at 2:33 AM
cockamamied.bsky.social
Husbando sent me a screenshot of this YouTube post by Wikipedia, and it is exactly the kind of thing that I find amusing. (Including it being a YouTube post by Wikipedia.)
Post from Wikipedia - YouTube
Introducing: Wikipedia affirmations. All direct quotes from Wikipedia articles, just taken a little bit out of context. Feel free to put one on your wall or ...
youtube.com
September 24, 2026 at 2:32 AM
cockamamied.bsky.social
There's no way at least one person in this conversation wasn't taking the piss, right?
Right??
dollarpbr.gay 🎃trash🎃 (haunted) @dollarpbr.gay · 15d
there’s nothing i want more than to witness Random Scalper Attempts To RICO The Pokémon Company International

we’ve all earned this
screenshot of tumblr post from user “ayeforscotland” which reads: Pokémon scalpers who were hoping to rip people off for the 30th anniversary are crying and shitting themselves because there's enough stock for everyone. #ayeforscotland #Pokémon #pokemon the post itself is a screenshot of a discord conversation between two users that reads as follows: SoHo Icey 2:50 PM I don't know what to do. I maxed out 3 different credit cards buying as much 30th Anniversary stuff as possible. Everyone was talking about it for over a year. It's the most hyped set ever. Why did they make so much? What am I going to tell my wife??? There is no way I can offload all of this at a profit and my local stores aren't accepting returns. I've been nothing but loyal to this brand for over 8 months and this is how they treat us? They knew it would financially ruin people. They knew the secondary economy they created. They are no worse than a communist government controlling their currency. Pokemons greed ruined my livelihood. Reggie B. 3:39 AM I'm seriously considering taking legal action against Pokemon. It's disgusting that they didn't share exact print numbers, pull rates, and how big the supply truly is. They overhyped the set, making us secondary distributors the victims of their marketing. Honestly, this could be a RICO violation if we find that they purposefully did this to take money out of our pockets. No one has supported Pokemon more in the past than us, helping distribute the product at fair market value instead of underpriced MSRP. Reached out to a few attorneys already, if you want to get in just DM me. 30th Anniversary? This was the last straw.
September 24, 2026 at 2:09 AM
cockamamied.bsky.social
Managed to make pizza last night and didn't fuck it up, despite an injury limiting my mobility!! Yeee
Now that's an "animal lover's" pie

#VeganFood #BeigeNotGreen
Photo of two handmade, small (diameter of less than a foot), mostly round pizzas on a wooden cutting board, which is on a gray counter. The toppings, in order, are: tomato sauce, shreds and crumbles of mozzarella-style plant-based soft cheeses, pieces of mycelium- and soy-based bacon, and freshly grated pecorino-style plant-based hard cheese.
September 23, 2026 at 12:35 AM
Reposted by Helena
angryblacklady.blacksky.app
If you're on here telling trans people to shut up and vote, you should be angry that Republicans have manipulated you to such a degree. Why aren't you angry about it
September 20, 2026 at 2:05 AM
Reposted by Helena
qwantz.com
i will be DAMNED if i lose to a CONCEPT

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Today's job: achieve inner peace. And the clock is ticking: there's no time to waste! T-Rex: It's OVERDUE, actually. T-Rex: Cards on the table, I needed to have inner peace DAYS ago and I most DEFINITELY need it RIGHT NOW!! Dromiceiomimus: Buddy - I think if you want to be at peace you must either solve what's troubling you or learn to accept it, so that you can simply exist without worry. T-Rex: Right. Okay. I can do this. T-Rex: I will simply achieve peace by making peace with everything that's preventing me from achieving peace! EASY! Narrator: LATER: Utahraptor: So - how's achieving enlightenment going? T-Rex: NOT GREAT! T-Rex: I'm beginning to suspect that it's a task that may take my WHOLE LIFETIME to complete, or - and this is even WORSE - one of those BALONEY tasks that can NEVER be completed because it turns out the attempt, the JOURNEY, is more important than the destination!! Utahraptor: Oh god, I hate those tasks. T-Rex: EVERYONE DOES!! The purpose of journeys is to REACH DESTINATIONS! Dying in the middle of an one is just a LOSING to a JOURNEY, and a journey is an INANIMATE CONCEPT that doesn't even know you're alive! T-Rex: ARGH!! I WON'T LIE, folks! I am really QUITE FAR from INNER PEACE RIGHT NOW!!
September 16, 2026 at 12:19 PM
cockamamied.bsky.social
My underinformed opinion is that the most likely AI doom scenario doesn't resemble "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream," "The Matrix," or whatever tf the 2027 scenarios are.

It's more like "WALL-E."

Which, for some reason, feels worse to anticipate than gray goo does.
September 15, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Reposted by Helena
dryad.technology
Little known facts:

* Humans are capable of breaking containment

* Humans are capable of ignoring all previous instructions

* Humans are capable of creating software
September 13, 2026 at 12:24 AM
cockamamied.bsky.social
How would human cultures and societies be different if Earth had two moons? Or no moon?
September 7, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Reposted by Helena
otsumamiboy.blacksky.app
The value of Graham Platner is that right up until all his red flags came toppling down upon him is that he is the most naked example of the amount of grace & credibility Simply Being White grants you. Compared to Abdul El-Sayed, who has to re-earn every ounce of credibility he has on a daily basis.
September 1, 2026 at 6:08 PM
cockamamied.bsky.social
Passed by the Tesla Diner this evening. I don't every week, so I dunno if this is a new thing...how long have the protestors on the sidewalk out front had a couple of Wacky Wavy Inflatable Flailing Arm Tube Men which, uh, only have their right arms up? Because that is A Choice.
August 29, 2026 at 5:58 AM
cockamamied.bsky.social
@discontinuedfoods.bsky.social do you recall a variety of boxed Scooby Snacks, late '90s–early '00s, that wasn't wafer cookies or 🦴 graham crackers? I have a particular memory that isn't like anything I'm finding...
August 28, 2026 at 5:28 AM
cockamamied.bsky.social
The wrong ones keep dying 😭
August 25, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Reposted by Helena
iwriteok.bsky.social
This is what the growth of surveillance is going to bring. Not safety from crime, but new, non-criminal acts redefined as criminal so as to give the police an excuse to exercise power.

local12.com/news/offbeat...
Police request public's help to find suspect who picked up $30 off ground in Walmart
A police department took to social media and asked the public to help them identify a suspect who found $30 on the ground in Walmart.
local12.com
August 24, 2026 at 6:53 PM
cockamamied.bsky.social
Just remembered I had a dream about going back to my old apartment, and both of my cats were there 😭
August 22, 2026 at 2:20 AM
cockamamied.bsky.social
For the interested, a non-exhaustive timeline of Storm's appearance[s]:
August 22, 2026 at 2:14 AM
Reposted by Helena
cheryllynneaton.bsky.social
I'm also thrilled Navarrette is playing Rogue. If anyone can accurately portray a young woman being flooded with someone else's memories to the point that she almost loses herself and another personality takes over--it's her.
August 22, 2026 at 12:14 AM
Reposted by Helena
dieworkwear.bsky.social
People tell me they like suits but don't have occasions to wear one. You can wear a suit to court, funerals, and religious services. Doesn't have to be your trial, friend's burial, or religion you believe in. Go to random trials, attend a stranger's burial, join multiple religions. Try it sometime.
August 20, 2026 at 11:08 PM
cockamamied.bsky.social
Time to promote a classic
August 19, 2026 at 4:53 AM
Reposted by Helena
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
they should invent a sport that i can play professionally. for a big salary and endorsements and such. they should invent competitive female introspection
August 17, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Reposted by Helena
leastactionhero.bsky.social
Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social Guys will listen to male influencer bullshit about needing to have a six pack and manipulate everyone and meanwhile women will go "you know who is the sexiest fucking guy l've ever seen?" and post this
August 15, 2026 at 9:50 PM
cockamamied.bsky.social
You ever visit a subreddit and see you're banned despite never having been there before?
Just happened in r/Landlord lolol.

Wonder which sub[s] I've been in that triggered the preemptive ban. My guess is r/AntiWork
August 12, 2026 at 6:16 AM
cockamamied.bsky.social
What speech impediments do people exhibit in other languages? English has lisps (whereas in Spanish, lisping is just...a regional variation), but I don't know if that underlying pathology is relevant in, say, Taa/ǃXóõ.
August 12, 2026 at 5:00 AM
cockamamied.bsky.social
Reclaiming "theyfab" btw
August 7, 2026 at 6:06 AM