Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
Crickets' Choice award winner
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:bkhy2dbh64yakigofguj6fx2/feed/aaadb3ixsmvbq
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:bkhy2dbh64yakigofguj6fx2/feed/aaadb3ixsmvbq
Pinned
Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
· Aug 24
Me: I’d like to solve the puzzle
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Reposted by Davoid
viral poster for legendary ska band the Historic Pavers
December 21, 2025 at 1:24 PM
viral poster for legendary ska band the Historic Pavers
Reposted by Davoid
I thought I heard a dangerous animal rustling in the woods but fortunately it was just my elderly neighbor who’d fallen into her compost pile
September 27, 2026 at 11:04 PM
I thought I heard a dangerous animal rustling in the woods but fortunately it was just my elderly neighbor who’d fallen into her compost pile
Reposted by Davoid
[my life big twist ending reveal]
…you’re saying I’ve been me this whole time?
…you’re saying I’ve been me this whole time?
September 27, 2026 at 2:58 AM
[my life big twist ending reveal]
…you’re saying I’ve been me this whole time?
…you’re saying I’ve been me this whole time?
Reposted by Davoid
Forever fighting the urge to say, "and then some," when the cashier asks if I found everything okay
September 28, 2026 at 12:35 AM
Forever fighting the urge to say, "and then some," when the cashier asks if I found everything okay
I want to be exclusively flaccid but it’s hard sometimes
September 27, 2026 at 8:56 PM
I want to be exclusively flaccid but it’s hard sometimes
Reposted by Davoid
It’s fucking me up that the word elevate predates the invention of the elevator but the invention of the escalator predates the word escalate. It’s complete madness
September 27, 2026 at 5:34 PM
It’s fucking me up that the word elevate predates the invention of the elevator but the invention of the escalator predates the word escalate. It’s complete madness
Reposted by Davoid
You’ll get one goodbye from me – no more, no less. I’m not a goodbye machine
September 27, 2026 at 12:40 PM
You’ll get one goodbye from me – no more, no less. I’m not a goodbye machine
Reposted by Davoid
I’m starting to think you guys just enjoy saying nor’easter like you’re a bunch of grizzled sea captains talking to lonely barmaids
September 27, 2026 at 12:59 PM
I’m starting to think you guys just enjoy saying nor’easter like you’re a bunch of grizzled sea captains talking to lonely barmaids
Reposted by Davoid
Interviewer: what’s your greatest weakness
Me: (straw slurping) probably iced coffee
Me: (straw slurping) probably iced coffee
September 27, 2026 at 2:39 AM
Interviewer: what’s your greatest weakness
Me: (straw slurping) probably iced coffee
Me: (straw slurping) probably iced coffee
Reposted by Davoid
If you see me jogging, please kill whatever is behind me.
September 27, 2026 at 2:29 PM
If you see me jogging, please kill whatever is behind me.
Reposted by Davoid
golf is all like i want to wear weird pants and assault some eggs but hockey is like i want to give this frozen hamburger to my teammates bc i love them.
June 16, 2026 at 1:01 PM
golf is all like i want to wear weird pants and assault some eggs but hockey is like i want to give this frozen hamburger to my teammates bc i love them.
Reposted by Davoid
drinking coffee like it’s medicine prescribed for being alive
May 13, 2026 at 2:16 PM
drinking coffee like it’s medicine prescribed for being alive
Reposted by Davoid
A whisk is not a very good sex toy, if we’re being honest.
September 27, 2026 at 5:10 AM
A whisk is not a very good sex toy, if we’re being honest.
Reposted by Davoid
i'm here for a good time, not a bad time
August 6, 2024 at 5:30 PM
i'm here for a good time, not a bad time
Reposted by Davoid
theres always someone who
would KILL to have what you
have. you must kill them first
theyll never stop hunting you
would KILL to have what you
have. you must kill them first
theyll never stop hunting you
September 26, 2026 at 8:53 AM
theres always someone who
would KILL to have what you
have. you must kill them first
theyll never stop hunting you
would KILL to have what you
have. you must kill them first
theyll never stop hunting you
Reposted by Davoid
When I was a kid my uncle had a pet shop, which, when you think about it, is a pretty odd thing to have as a pet.
September 25, 2026 at 1:04 PM
When I was a kid my uncle had a pet shop, which, when you think about it, is a pretty odd thing to have as a pet.
Reposted by Davoid
Be serious. Bert and Ernie are not “in love.” Maybe they used to be, once
September 25, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Be serious. Bert and Ernie are not “in love.” Maybe they used to be, once
Reposted by Davoid
(cat porn music) bow chicka meow meow
September 25, 2026 at 2:04 AM
(cat porn music) bow chicka meow meow
Reposted by Davoid
Sleepytime Extra should have another bear sneaking up behind this guy with a piano wire
September 24, 2026 at 9:50 PM
Sleepytime Extra should have another bear sneaking up behind this guy with a piano wire
Reposted by Davoid
What To Expect When You’re Expecting: Disappointment
September 24, 2026 at 7:26 PM
What To Expect When You’re Expecting: Disappointment
Reposted by Davoid
Let's get together and play monopoly. The friendship game 🌈
September 23, 2026 at 3:42 PM
Let's get together and play monopoly. The friendship game 🌈
Reposted by Davoid
They're setting up a Spirit Halloween where Earth used to be
September 17, 2026 at 1:32 PM
They're setting up a Spirit Halloween where Earth used to be
Reposted by Davoid
me: it smells like updog in here
me: what's updog
me: not much dog what's up with you lmao
me: lol
therapist: I see
me: what's updog
me: not much dog what's up with you lmao
me: lol
therapist: I see
September 24, 2026 at 6:49 PM
me: it smells like updog in here
me: what's updog
me: not much dog what's up with you lmao
me: lol
therapist: I see
me: what's updog
me: not much dog what's up with you lmao
me: lol
therapist: I see
Reposted by Davoid
Me: got any trail mix without dried fruit in it?
Them: this one is just nuts
Me: glad you like it but is there fruit in it
Them: this one is just nuts
Me: glad you like it but is there fruit in it
May 29, 2024 at 6:57 PM
Me: got any trail mix without dried fruit in it?
Them: this one is just nuts
Me: glad you like it but is there fruit in it
Them: this one is just nuts
Me: glad you like it but is there fruit in it