Simon
@ellisuk.com
Moments of outstanding brightness followed by periods of quiet contemplation / anxiety / dullness. If you're a bigot, nazi or general shitehawk of a human being you will be blocked. Otherwise let's see what's out there. Also remember fix your heart or die.
Reposted by Simon
Centre of the mewniverse
I know you wanna read dis book
But I am in da way
Demanding that you boop my nose
And worship me today
Of all the heav’nly bodies
That, in the sky you’ll see
I’m Centre of the Mewniverse
Da world revolves round me
#kittyditties #catpoem #cats
I know you wanna read dis book
But I am in da way
Demanding that you boop my nose
And worship me today
Of all the heav’nly bodies
That, in the sky you’ll see
I’m Centre of the Mewniverse
Da world revolves round me
#kittyditties #catpoem #cats
March 13, 2026 at 7:52 PM
Centre of the mewniverse
I know you wanna read dis book
But I am in da way
Demanding that you boop my nose
And worship me today
Of all the heav’nly bodies
That, in the sky you’ll see
I’m Centre of the Mewniverse
Da world revolves round me
#kittyditties #catpoem #cats
I know you wanna read dis book
But I am in da way
Demanding that you boop my nose
And worship me today
Of all the heav’nly bodies
That, in the sky you’ll see
I’m Centre of the Mewniverse
Da world revolves round me
#kittyditties #catpoem #cats
You see if they used an AI voice of Arthur Lowe for Claude the AI product it may convince me to……..no I’d still be furious at it.
When people talk about Claude, this is the image in my head.
September 30, 2026 at 9:11 PM
You see if they used an AI voice of Arthur Lowe for Claude the AI product it may convince me to……..no I’d still be furious at it.
Reposted by Simon
When people talk about Claude, this is the image in my head.
September 30, 2026 at 9:08 PM
When people talk about Claude, this is the image in my head.
Reposted by Simon
Police have released in an image of their prime suspect.
September 30, 2026 at 7:34 PM
Police have released in an image of their prime suspect.
Reposted by Simon
Reposted by Simon
Reposted by Simon
I’ve decided for every £1k we raise, I will include an additional beloved recipe.
At £6k we’re playing for my Actual Sherbet Fountain Lemon Cupcakes! (Tastes how childhood birthday excitement feels but without the crushing aftertaste of disappointment)
At £6k we’re playing for my Actual Sherbet Fountain Lemon Cupcakes! (Tastes how childhood birthday excitement feels but without the crushing aftertaste of disappointment)
It’s my birthday! What an incredible gift to wake up to this Crowdfunding figure. Thank you so bloody much!
If anyone wants to give me a birthday gift, all I want this year is for the show to be funded: www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/its-a-supe...
If anyone wants to give me a birthday gift, all I want this year is for the show to be funded: www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/its-a-supe...
September 30, 2026 at 12:59 PM
I’ve decided for every £1k we raise, I will include an additional beloved recipe.
At £6k we’re playing for my Actual Sherbet Fountain Lemon Cupcakes! (Tastes how childhood birthday excitement feels but without the crushing aftertaste of disappointment)
At £6k we’re playing for my Actual Sherbet Fountain Lemon Cupcakes! (Tastes how childhood birthday excitement feels but without the crushing aftertaste of disappointment)
Reposted by Simon
I once saw Jeffrey Bernard on Greek St, then remembered he was dead, then realised it was Peter O' Toole
Peter O'Toole.
Jon Ronson in my case
September 30, 2026 at 6:53 PM
I once saw Jeffrey Bernard on Greek St, then remembered he was dead, then realised it was Peter O' Toole
Reposted by Simon
Raising a glass of Pernod, Ouzo, marmalade & salt in her honour
Esther Rantzen, TV presenter and Childline founder, dies aged 86
Esther Rantzen, TV presenter and Childline founder, dies aged 86
Rantzen announced lung cancer diagnosis in 2023 and became a vocal assisted dying campaigner
Esther Rantzen, the Bafta-winning TV presenter and founder of ChildLine, has died aged 86.
She announced a diagnosis of stage four lung cancer in 2023, and became a vocal campaigner to reform the law around assisted dying. In September 2026, she announced that she had to abandon plans to end her life in Swiss clinic Dignitas, due to being too physically frail. Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
September 30, 2026 at 6:44 PM
Raising a glass of Pernod, Ouzo, marmalade & salt in her honour
Reposted by Simon
Most TV is just this now.
September 30, 2026 at 9:06 AM
Most TV is just this now.
Reposted by Simon
To be taken as and when required - Rowlf singing "What A Wonderful World" while stroking a gently sleeping puppy. One of the most downright lovely two minutes I know of. Occasionally, this puts a tear in my eye. Break glass and use if you need it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0Q-...
The Muppet Show: Rowlf - "What a Wonderful World"
YouTube video by dorcm1973
www.youtube.com
September 30, 2026 at 7:51 AM
To be taken as and when required - Rowlf singing "What A Wonderful World" while stroking a gently sleeping puppy. One of the most downright lovely two minutes I know of. Occasionally, this puts a tear in my eye. Break glass and use if you need it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0Q-...
Reposted by Simon
Reposted by Simon
you will encounter more opportunities in life to change the batteries on a smoke alarm than you will to run into a burning building and no one gives a shit you changed those batteries but it is still very important and why are you waiting on a burning building, know what i’m saying, it’s a metaphor
September 29, 2026 at 6:49 AM
you will encounter more opportunities in life to change the batteries on a smoke alarm than you will to run into a burning building and no one gives a shit you changed those batteries but it is still very important and why are you waiting on a burning building, know what i’m saying, it’s a metaphor
Reposted by Simon
i worry that men think being A Good Guy is dramatically and heroically intervening on behalf of an endangered woman and then being publicly rewarded on a grand scale when actually being A Good Guy is just usually saying, “hey man that’s not funny” or “wow that’s fucked up” and there is no reward
September 29, 2026 at 5:02 AM
i worry that men think being A Good Guy is dramatically and heroically intervening on behalf of an endangered woman and then being publicly rewarded on a grand scale when actually being A Good Guy is just usually saying, “hey man that’s not funny” or “wow that’s fucked up” and there is no reward
Reposted by Simon
Good morning & welcome to Whiskers Wednesday
Never let an opportunity pass to tell someone they matter. You never know how much they might need to hear it that day.
A little appreciation can brighten someone’s whole day.
Never let an opportunity pass to tell someone they matter. You never know how much they might need to hear it that day.
A little appreciation can brighten someone’s whole day.
September 30, 2026 at 4:20 AM
Good morning & welcome to Whiskers Wednesday
Never let an opportunity pass to tell someone they matter. You never know how much they might need to hear it that day.
A little appreciation can brighten someone’s whole day.
Never let an opportunity pass to tell someone they matter. You never know how much they might need to hear it that day.
A little appreciation can brighten someone’s whole day.
Once again the unlimited finances of big light try and force us all into accepting football stadium type lighting for bedrooms as the norm.
I am in a lovely hotel room
In Belfast with no plugs next to the bed, and the most infuriating lighting system I have ever come across. Current status: in bed with the big light on, because you can’t turn on the table lamp by itself. Whoever designed this is a sociopath. Good night.
In Belfast with no plugs next to the bed, and the most infuriating lighting system I have ever come across. Current status: in bed with the big light on, because you can’t turn on the table lamp by itself. Whoever designed this is a sociopath. Good night.
September 29, 2026 at 9:37 PM
Once again the unlimited finances of big light try and force us all into accepting football stadium type lighting for bedrooms as the norm.
Sorry to be parochial in my priorities here but is there any chance we could rejig the schedule a bit to stop the ultimate Heat Death of this Planet first?
I am no longer accepting the argument "there are bigger problems than this!" unless you are personally working to stop the ultimate Heat Death of the Universe.
September 29, 2026 at 9:34 PM
Sorry to be parochial in my priorities here but is there any chance we could rejig the schedule a bit to stop the ultimate Heat Death of this Planet first?
Reposted by Simon
Dementia and Alzheimer's are absolutely devastating not only to the sufferer but for their friends and loves ones as well.
Currently if it happens to your parent or partner you're effectively on your own navigating this terrible and often very expensive landscape of care.
Currently if it happens to your parent or partner you're effectively on your own navigating this terrible and often very expensive landscape of care.
September 29, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Dementia and Alzheimer's are absolutely devastating not only to the sufferer but for their friends and loves ones as well.
Currently if it happens to your parent or partner you're effectively on your own navigating this terrible and often very expensive landscape of care.
Currently if it happens to your parent or partner you're effectively on your own navigating this terrible and often very expensive landscape of care.
Reposted by Simon
Reposted by Simon
them: what do you do?
me: i’m a stockbreaker
them: don’t you mean stockbroker
me, smashing an oxo cube with a hammer: no
me: i’m a stockbreaker
them: don’t you mean stockbroker
me, smashing an oxo cube with a hammer: no
September 28, 2026 at 5:22 PM
them: what do you do?
me: i’m a stockbreaker
them: don’t you mean stockbroker
me, smashing an oxo cube with a hammer: no
me: i’m a stockbreaker
them: don’t you mean stockbroker
me, smashing an oxo cube with a hammer: no
Reposted by Simon
"The Production Manager had been specially selected to prattle on endlessly to stunned victims of this programme. I should know - I had directed a dozen of them in the early 1960s when I was being punished by Tom Sloan, head of light entertainment, for not getting on with Benny Hill" (more)
September 28, 2026 at 7:49 AM
"The Production Manager had been specially selected to prattle on endlessly to stunned victims of this programme. I should know - I had directed a dozen of them in the early 1960s when I was being punished by Tom Sloan, head of light entertainment, for not getting on with Benny Hill" (more)
Reposted by Simon
Reposted by Simon
*blackadder theme*
His head is bigger than a fence
He breathes, and everything gets warmer
His urge to trample represents
A nation's nuclear war trauma
Godzilla! Godzilla!
The scourge of beast and man!
Godzilla! Godzilla!
He's flattening Japan!
His head is bigger than a fence
He breathes, and everything gets warmer
His urge to trample represents
A nation's nuclear war trauma
Godzilla! Godzilla!
The scourge of beast and man!
Godzilla! Godzilla!
He's flattening Japan!
September 27, 2026 at 12:46 PM
*blackadder theme*
His head is bigger than a fence
He breathes, and everything gets warmer
His urge to trample represents
A nation's nuclear war trauma
Godzilla! Godzilla!
The scourge of beast and man!
Godzilla! Godzilla!
He's flattening Japan!
His head is bigger than a fence
He breathes, and everything gets warmer
His urge to trample represents
A nation's nuclear war trauma
Godzilla! Godzilla!
The scourge of beast and man!
Godzilla! Godzilla!
He's flattening Japan!
Reposted by Simon
Enid Blyton’s got edgy.
September 27, 2026 at 1:25 PM
Enid Blyton’s got edgy.