Epiphora
@epiphora.bsky.social
I have a very discerning vagina. Sex writer + sex toy connoisseur for over 18 years. 🌈 {she/her}
https://heyepiphora.com
https://heyepiphora.com/subscribe
💌 [email protected]
📸 IG: instagram.com/heyepiphora
https://heyepiphora.com
https://heyepiphora.com/subscribe
💌 [email protected]
📸 IG: instagram.com/heyepiphora
Pinned
Epiphora
@epiphora.bsky.social
· Dec 14
Hey Epiphora » Where sex toys go to be judged
A trusted source for relentlessly honest sex toy reviews and snarky musings since 2008. Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.
piph.it
Hey, I'm Piph! 👋 I masturbate for a living so you can find the best sex toys!
🌈 Read my work: piph.it
🏆 Fave toys: piph.it/faves
💖 Fave shops: piph.it/shops
💸 Sales + deals: piph.it/deals
📸 IG: piph.it/insta
🌈 Read my work: piph.it
🏆 Fave toys: piph.it/faves
💖 Fave shops: piph.it/shops
💸 Sales + deals: piph.it/deals
📸 IG: piph.it/insta
My mind is numb and my body is in pain after, for the millionth time, spending all day changing affiliate links on my blog.
So many programs have closed, changed, companies folded... and then ALL my links break unless I change them. It never ends.
So many programs have closed, changed, companies folded... and then ALL my links break unless I change them. It never ends.
July 1, 2026 at 12:18 AM
My mind is numb and my body is in pain after, for the millionth time, spending all day changing affiliate links on my blog.
So many programs have closed, changed, companies folded... and then ALL my links break unless I change them. It never ends.
So many programs have closed, changed, companies folded... and then ALL my links break unless I change them. It never ends.
HE HAS A NEW SCENE TODAY, AND IT'S A THREESOME.
I know what my reward for working today is...
I know what my reward for working today is...
Y'all I'm in trouble, I think I'm in love with @kanefox.bsky.social. I'm bingeing his scenes like it's fucking Netflix and I'm gonna run out... join.cockyboys.com/track/NDAwMT...
June 12, 2026 at 10:25 PM
HE HAS A NEW SCENE TODAY, AND IT'S A THREESOME.
I know what my reward for working today is...
I know what my reward for working today is...
Soooo, sounds like this post is ACTUALLY HAPPENING??? I heard back from CockyBoys and they love the idea. I haven't been energized to write something like this in so long.
People say Heated Rivalry is “just porn,” but what if it ACTUALLY WAS? What if I wrote a blog post about porn scenes that match the sex scenes in Heated Rivalry? And performers who look and act like Ilya and Shane?
I feel like the masses need this...
I feel like the masses need this...
June 10, 2026 at 2:10 AM
Soooo, sounds like this post is ACTUALLY HAPPENING??? I heard back from CockyBoys and they love the idea. I haven't been energized to write something like this in so long.
It takes a lot for a sex toy to make me jolt backward and go "WOW. WOW... WOW." But this one did it. Made me stare at my screen in horrified awe. shevibe.pxf.io/PzRyLY
June 9, 2026 at 9:48 PM
It takes a lot for a sex toy to make me jolt backward and go "WOW. WOW... WOW." But this one did it. Made me stare at my screen in horrified awe. shevibe.pxf.io/PzRyLY
People say Heated Rivalry is “just porn,” but what if it ACTUALLY WAS? What if I wrote a blog post about porn scenes that match the sex scenes in Heated Rivalry? And performers who look and act like Ilya and Shane?
I feel like the masses need this...
I feel like the masses need this...
May 27, 2026 at 11:21 PM
People say Heated Rivalry is “just porn,” but what if it ACTUALLY WAS? What if I wrote a blog post about porn scenes that match the sex scenes in Heated Rivalry? And performers who look and act like Ilya and Shane?
I feel like the masses need this...
I feel like the masses need this...
Y'all I'm in trouble, I think I'm in love with @kanefox.bsky.social. I'm bingeing his scenes like it's fucking Netflix and I'm gonna run out... join.cockyboys.com/track/NDAwMT...
May 24, 2026 at 8:49 PM
Y'all I'm in trouble, I think I'm in love with @kanefox.bsky.social. I'm bingeing his scenes like it's fucking Netflix and I'm gonna run out... join.cockyboys.com/track/NDAwMT...
Well here we are. WordPress 7.0 and they've added AI.
Now it's like 2 clicks and you can ask a computer to write your entire website for you.
I am dying, you guys. The writer in me is SCREAMING.
Now it's like 2 clicks and you can ask a computer to write your entire website for you.
I am dying, you guys. The writer in me is SCREAMING.
May 22, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Well here we are. WordPress 7.0 and they've added AI.
Now it's like 2 clicks and you can ask a computer to write your entire website for you.
I am dying, you guys. The writer in me is SCREAMING.
Now it's like 2 clicks and you can ask a computer to write your entire website for you.
I am dying, you guys. The writer in me is SCREAMING.
Someone commented on my incestuous fanfic on AO3:
"such potential waisted on incest fic??? 😭😭😭"
...who's gonna tell them I've used my writing talent for QUITE A LOT of other blasphemous, possibly immoral things?
"such potential waisted on incest fic??? 😭😭😭"
...who's gonna tell them I've used my writing talent for QUITE A LOT of other blasphemous, possibly immoral things?
May 11, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Someone commented on my incestuous fanfic on AO3:
"such potential waisted on incest fic??? 😭😭😭"
...who's gonna tell them I've used my writing talent for QUITE A LOT of other blasphemous, possibly immoral things?
"such potential waisted on incest fic??? 😭😭😭"
...who's gonna tell them I've used my writing talent for QUITE A LOT of other blasphemous, possibly immoral things?
I have questions about this emoji: 🖇️
1) why does it exist when there is already 📎?
2) why didn't I know about it?
3) why aren't we using it for scissoring???????
1) why does it exist when there is already 📎?
2) why didn't I know about it?
3) why aren't we using it for scissoring???????
January 14, 2026 at 1:09 AM
I have questions about this emoji: 🖇️
1) why does it exist when there is already 📎?
2) why didn't I know about it?
3) why aren't we using it for scissoring???????
1) why does it exist when there is already 📎?
2) why didn't I know about it?
3) why aren't we using it for scissoring???????
When did I get so old that stretching my weary bones feels almost as good as an orgasm 😩
January 9, 2026 at 7:18 PM
When did I get so old that stretching my weary bones feels almost as good as an orgasm 😩
Reposted by Epiphora
I hate that "online videos is no longer a viable career path" is now a genre of videos, but this one from stevie boebi is a very good rundown on how being a queer content creator has been a nightmare this past decade.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jroJ...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jroJ...
what happened to stevie boebi?
YouTube video by stevie boebi
www.youtube.com
June 12, 2025 at 1:06 AM
I hate that "online videos is no longer a viable career path" is now a genre of videos, but this one from stevie boebi is a very good rundown on how being a queer content creator has been a nightmare this past decade.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jroJ...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jroJ...
I remember back when admitting I was into "incest" porn felt edgy AF. I had to seek it out, and in most scenes, effort was put into selling the illusion.
Now it's just an oversaturated, essentially meaningless category on Pornhub.
Pshhhh, I was into it before it was cool 😤
Now it's just an oversaturated, essentially meaningless category on Pornhub.
Pshhhh, I was into it before it was cool 😤
April 25, 2025 at 8:17 PM
I remember back when admitting I was into "incest" porn felt edgy AF. I had to seek it out, and in most scenes, effort was put into selling the illusion.
Now it's just an oversaturated, essentially meaningless category on Pornhub.
Pshhhh, I was into it before it was cool 😤
Now it's just an oversaturated, essentially meaningless category on Pornhub.
Pshhhh, I was into it before it was cool 😤
SSRIs are wild. 💊 I started Lexapro and I've gone from being able to time my orgasms down to the second, followed by more orgasms basically whenever I want, to spending an HOUR+ chasing a SINGLE orgasm.
April 25, 2025 at 1:45 AM
SSRIs are wild. 💊 I started Lexapro and I've gone from being able to time my orgasms down to the second, followed by more orgasms basically whenever I want, to spending an HOUR+ chasing a SINGLE orgasm.
Once, I was trapped in a Verizon store, and the sales associate found out what I do for a living. Far too delighted, she launched into a whole spiel about a male friend of hers who started a business for mailing a dildo to your enemies. 😑
April 20, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Once, I was trapped in a Verizon store, and the sales associate found out what I do for a living. Far too delighted, she launched into a whole spiel about a male friend of hers who started a business for mailing a dildo to your enemies. 😑
HEY I'm still waiting on reviews of my Sims porn. COME ON, PEOPLE, VALIDATE MY WEIRDNESS
Okay, freaks! Here's the Sims porn I shot and edited!
Set in a beach house on a romantic vacation, it's 14 minutes of making out, teasing, and lots and lots of blowjobs.
What do you think, do I have natural talent or what?
drive.google.com/file/d/1zy2D...
#piphplayssims
Set in a beach house on a romantic vacation, it's 14 minutes of making out, teasing, and lots and lots of blowjobs.
What do you think, do I have natural talent or what?
drive.google.com/file/d/1zy2D...
#piphplayssims
April 14, 2025 at 6:15 PM
HEY I'm still waiting on reviews of my Sims porn. COME ON, PEOPLE, VALIDATE MY WEIRDNESS
Okay, freaks! Here's the Sims porn I shot and edited!
Set in a beach house on a romantic vacation, it's 14 minutes of making out, teasing, and lots and lots of blowjobs.
What do you think, do I have natural talent or what?
drive.google.com/file/d/1zy2D...
#piphplayssims
Set in a beach house on a romantic vacation, it's 14 minutes of making out, teasing, and lots and lots of blowjobs.
What do you think, do I have natural talent or what?
drive.google.com/file/d/1zy2D...
#piphplayssims
April 13, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Okay, freaks! Here's the Sims porn I shot and edited!
Set in a beach house on a romantic vacation, it's 14 minutes of making out, teasing, and lots and lots of blowjobs.
What do you think, do I have natural talent or what?
drive.google.com/file/d/1zy2D...
#piphplayssims
Set in a beach house on a romantic vacation, it's 14 minutes of making out, teasing, and lots and lots of blowjobs.
What do you think, do I have natural talent or what?
drive.google.com/file/d/1zy2D...
#piphplayssims
Reposted by Epiphora
YES. I make it so all Sims can use all animations. I love the auto-equipping of the strap-on.
April 10, 2025 at 7:52 PM
YES. I make it so all Sims can use all animations. I love the auto-equipping of the strap-on.
Oh, you watch pre-shot porn of actual humans?
Well *I* create my OWN PERSONAL PORN in the Sims, so there! 🤪
#piphplayssims
Well *I* create my OWN PERSONAL PORN in the Sims, so there! 🤪
#piphplayssims
April 10, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Oh, you watch pre-shot porn of actual humans?
Well *I* create my OWN PERSONAL PORN in the Sims, so there! 🤪
#piphplayssims
Well *I* create my OWN PERSONAL PORN in the Sims, so there! 🤪
#piphplayssims
Today's the day I "officially" left Twitter and FB.
I've been checked out for a long time, but I finally sat down and wrote a proper send-off. I wasn't content walking away from these platforms without some closure.
So here's my last Twitter thread 🧵👇
I've been checked out for a long time, but I finally sat down and wrote a proper send-off. I wasn't content walking away from these platforms without some closure.
So here's my last Twitter thread 🧵👇
April 2, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Today's the day I "officially" left Twitter and FB.
I've been checked out for a long time, but I finally sat down and wrote a proper send-off. I wasn't content walking away from these platforms without some closure.
So here's my last Twitter thread 🧵👇
I've been checked out for a long time, but I finally sat down and wrote a proper send-off. I wasn't content walking away from these platforms without some closure.
So here's my last Twitter thread 🧵👇
🤡 Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective! 🤡
Every April Fool's, something weird has happened on my blog. Today: a hysterical look back at all my crazy jokes, from whimsical to bizarre, with behind-the-scenes details, photos, and multimedia flourishes.
🤣 piph.it/retrospective
Every April Fool's, something weird has happened on my blog. Today: a hysterical look back at all my crazy jokes, from whimsical to bizarre, with behind-the-scenes details, photos, and multimedia flourishes.
🤣 piph.it/retrospective
Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective » Hey Epiphora — Where sex toys go to be judged
Yes, I fucked myself with fruits and vegetables. Yes, I masturbated with a 100-year-old vibrator. Yes, I stuffed a bunch of mini dildos in my vagina.
piph.it
April 1, 2025 at 3:51 PM
🤡 Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective! 🤡
Every April Fool's, something weird has happened on my blog. Today: a hysterical look back at all my crazy jokes, from whimsical to bizarre, with behind-the-scenes details, photos, and multimedia flourishes.
🤣 piph.it/retrospective
Every April Fool's, something weird has happened on my blog. Today: a hysterical look back at all my crazy jokes, from whimsical to bizarre, with behind-the-scenes details, photos, and multimedia flourishes.
🤣 piph.it/retrospective
Visible or not, I love you. I'm with you. 🏳️⚧️
They can't erase what I know to be true: trans people are FUCKING AMAZING. Kind. Hilarious. Inspiring. Braver than cis people in so many ways.
I am deeply grateful for all my trans friends and readers.
You're not alone. Keep going. #TransDayofVisibility
They can't erase what I know to be true: trans people are FUCKING AMAZING. Kind. Hilarious. Inspiring. Braver than cis people in so many ways.
I am deeply grateful for all my trans friends and readers.
You're not alone. Keep going. #TransDayofVisibility
March 31, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Visible or not, I love you. I'm with you. 🏳️⚧️
They can't erase what I know to be true: trans people are FUCKING AMAZING. Kind. Hilarious. Inspiring. Braver than cis people in so many ways.
I am deeply grateful for all my trans friends and readers.
You're not alone. Keep going. #TransDayofVisibility
They can't erase what I know to be true: trans people are FUCKING AMAZING. Kind. Hilarious. Inspiring. Braver than cis people in so many ways.
I am deeply grateful for all my trans friends and readers.
You're not alone. Keep going. #TransDayofVisibility
Reposted by Epiphora
It’s trans day of visibility! Being visible honestly doesn’t feel safe these days! I feel like we need trans day of vengeance at this point
March 31, 2025 at 2:31 PM
It’s trans day of visibility! Being visible honestly doesn’t feel safe these days! I feel like we need trans day of vengeance at this point
Reposted by Epiphora
This #TransDayofVisibility you should give trans people some money (or even buy them a pizza)
But seriously, buy our games, our books, fund our gofundmes, help us when you can.
It's so rough right now for trans folks and knowing that people still care means so much.
But seriously, buy our games, our books, fund our gofundmes, help us when you can.
It's so rough right now for trans folks and knowing that people still care means so much.
March 31, 2025 at 3:39 PM
This #TransDayofVisibility you should give trans people some money (or even buy them a pizza)
But seriously, buy our games, our books, fund our gofundmes, help us when you can.
It's so rough right now for trans folks and knowing that people still care means so much.
But seriously, buy our games, our books, fund our gofundmes, help us when you can.
It's so rough right now for trans folks and knowing that people still care means so much.
Reposted by Epiphora
today is the trans day of visibility and now is a good time to remember that trans people built this place into what it is
I would not have made this my new internet home if I had not met so many kind, wonderful trans people here and made friends with them
let them live their damn lives in peace
I would not have made this my new internet home if I had not met so many kind, wonderful trans people here and made friends with them
let them live their damn lives in peace
March 31, 2025 at 3:35 PM
today is the trans day of visibility and now is a good time to remember that trans people built this place into what it is
I would not have made this my new internet home if I had not met so many kind, wonderful trans people here and made friends with them
let them live their damn lives in peace
I would not have made this my new internet home if I had not met so many kind, wonderful trans people here and made friends with them
let them live their damn lives in peace